Bunheads: 1.06 “Movie Truck”

Season 1 Episode 6
Airdate: July 23, 2012

Michelle wonders why the girls are gathered outside the dance studio. They tell her that class is at 10, but the doors are locked because Not Emily Gilmore is not there. Michelle is normally asleep at this hour, so this is first she has heard of it.

NEG’s book club is gathered in her living room, even though she is not there. Crazy Salesgirl is part of the group and gives Michelle a note from NEG. Michelle wonders why CSG spends her time with old woman and has no friends her own age. CSG replies that Michelle is a slut. No, she really did call Michelle a slut. That was not my joke. CSG doesn’t like Michelle. When they first met, CSG thought Michelle was a stripper.

So, NEG took a vacation. When Michelle phones her, she is relaxing by a pool. You have access to the beach from your house, why are you at a pool? It can’t be as much fun as the ocean. Then again, you also live in southern California, so what the hell do you even need a vacation from anyway? Where do you go when you just need to get away from the great weather and sunshine? Finland? NEG feels that she can take some time off now that Michelle is around to teach.

There is now a stripper pole in the studio. While I am sure any parent would love to send their daughters to a dance studio that features a stripper pole in the middle of the room, NEG plans to offer pole dancing classes (to adults at least) and bought it after seeing Fergie on Jay Leno. Fergie gave Leno a lap dance, I guess. Every part of is paragraph is gross and now I need to drink to get it out of my mind. I mean, I was already drinking but now I have an excuse that allows me to not have to think about the fact that I’ve had three beers already while I’m in my apartment alone recapping an ABC Family show.

Over to the girls! They are seated at the restaurant Boo works. There is a plate of some sort of round, fried appetizer before them. They don’t know what it is and don’t want to eat it. I don’t know why they ordered it then. Melanie eats one and is totally grossed out, so eats another. They are probably bull testicles. I understand they eat those somewhere out west.

Michelle is trying out the pole when her friend from Vegas, Talia arrives to celebrate her birthday. Talia brought Michelle’s car and last paycheck as a showgirl. They are going to blow it on an awesome party. Michelle brags about having fresh fruit in her fridge, which has to be a lie, because her refrigerator is broken and heats things up. Maybe Michelle unplugged it and is just using it as a big cupboard. Most fruit doesn’t need to be kept in a fridge, anyway, though I doubt Michelle would know that.

Michelle walks her friend through downtown Paradise. Talia thinks the town is so small it’s silly, but then falls in love with a duck dress in the window of CSG’s shop. Sounds like my kind of gal! Michelle doesn’t want to go inside because CSG hates her, but Talia wants that ducky dress! Talia loves all the kitschy outfits CSG has to sell. CSG wants to be a part of Michelle’s birthday fun times, but Michelle doesn’t want her too. CSG says that Michelle told her she needs friends her own age and will give them a 20% off all of her crazy merchandise if she can go with them. Of course, Talia is for it.

Meanwhile, Sasha is hosting a sleepover. The other three girls arrive at her house and see that her parent’s are fighting. Sasha tells them to move upstairs quietly as her mom throws valuable pillows at her dad’s head. They are going to wait in her bedroom until her folks leave, so they can sneak out. But it looks like they aren’t going to stop fighting. Sasha goes back downstairs, and the other three talk about how her dad is gay and this is probably what the fight is about. Sasha doesn’t know this, but everyone else in town is aware that her dad has been seeing a man named Timothy. NEG explained in the first episode that this is the reason Sasha is so uptight.

Michelle and Talia are in sexy dresses for their night out. They had to get CSG into one, which she is not used to wearing. “Wow,” says Michelle when she steps out of the changing room. “You look totally doable in that!” Again, that is not my joke, she actually said that. Making funny recaps of show’s that clever and witty is hard. It makes me kind of wish I didn’t stop reviewing Degrassi.

The four girls snuck out to go to the carnival (small towns). They meet Melanie’s brother, Charlie, and his pal, who have their tickets to a movie (which is inside a truck at the carnival). However, none of their seats are together. Also, Charlie is a whiny bitch the whole time. He must be having one of those man periods I read about on Wikipedia before the article was deleted for insufficient evidence it existed. So I had to re-create the page and start over again.

We could have been together!!!

That happened to me and Johnny a few years back when we were going to see Colin Mochrie, who was on tour with some other guy from Whose Line is it Anyway who wasn’t Ryan Stiles or Wayne Brady or Greg Poops. There were in town that night and doing two shows. We didn’t buy tickets until the last minute, so we ended up at the second show and our seats were at opposite ends of the theater. Colin and the other guy did several improv games based on words suggested by the audience, just like on Whose Line. The thing is, this being the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, everything the audience shouted was related to deer hunting or snowmobiling. Colin had to ask us to stop throwing out words related to the UP, because they already used all of them in the first show. Johnny and I were glad we got the second show.

Also, I was three feet from Colin’s beer belly. There was a game in which Colin had to guess several words based on clues from the other guy, but first had to sequestered while the audience threw out words (despite his plea earlier, a good number of the suggestions involved pasties). He was right near where I was seated when he was looking for a volunteer to go with him to the other room to confirm that he couldn’t hear anything. That’s when I saw how fat he really is. Colin Mochrie actually looked me in the eye. It was very brief, maybe a second at the most, but I gave him a large, pleading smile in the hopes he would take me to the other room, so I could be alone with him. He decided he’d rather go with a hot woman instead.

Anyway, by flirting with or annoying people, three of girls manage to get seats together. But Boo ends up in another row holding a baby. Charlie sits next to her. Boo has a crush on Charlie so it works out. Maybe Boo hopes that the baby will get him thinking about starting a family. She wants him to be impressed by her maternal skills.

Michelle, Talia and CSG end up at carnival, too, because everything in town closes at 6. They are in southern California so they could drive to Los Angeles, but that’s, like, three hours away and everything in L.A. closes at 9. They want to get into the movie truck, but it’s sold out. CSG shows them the back door so they can sneak inside.

They have to stand in the back, but then CSG whips out a bottle of booze from her purse. Man, she is awesome. She has a 32 oz. bottle of alcohol in her purse. I am starting to wish Bunheads was focused on CSG rather than Michelle. I don’t know what kind of alcohol she brought, but they drink it straight, so I assume it’s vodka.

They watch some sort of horror b-movie called Mountain of Arms, about a killer who creates a mountain from human arms, and will top it off by cutting off his own arms, but then has no way to carry them up there! It sounds very art house in that sense. This is the actual plot as describe by the characters. Of course, we didn’t see any of the film. Because ABC Family are a bunch of fuddy duddies.

Pages: 1 2