Bunheads: 1.13 “I’ll Be Your Meyer Lansky”

Season 1 Episode 13
Airdate: January 21, 2013

Michelle actually gets up early today. As does Fanny. They do a morning workout. They need to get pumped to meet with their accountant. You remember him, he’s a black guy. Yeah, for real, this town has a black accountant! Paradise just gets weirder and weirder. The account is frustrated that the women are not making money from the dance academy because they don’t charge half the students tuition and close it down whenever they don’t feel like teaching. He also points out that they own a large amount of land but are doing nothing to earn money from it. Michelle and Fanny are uninterested in his instructions and make wise cracks or otherwise fail to pay attention. The accountant wallows in the frustration that comes with trying to explain financial matters to women.

Over at school, Melanie and Ginny spend more time being jealous of Cozette, who has a posse around her. Melanie’s brother is dumped by his girlfriend very publicly in the hallway. Melanie enjoys this and records it with her phone. Melanie does not like her brother.


Michelle and Fanny drive back home. Fanny makes a Breaking Bad reference. Fanny is awesome. They stop at a roadside candle stand. After a few moments of browsing, they realize that this stand is set up on their property. But the proprietor has been paying the nearby alpaca farm rent—for the past ten years. Fanny takes a bunch of candles as rent.


Melanie goes to her brother to get a ride to dance class, but he is lying in his bed being all emo. Melanie’s first instinct is to kick him, but her brother just gives her the keys to his car and tells her to drive herself. Melanie knows he must be seriously depressed to let her to do that.


At dance class, the girls obsess over Cozette again. Three of them do, Boo is entirely absent from this episode. If the actress was hired away by another show that isn’t Community, I’m going to be pissed. Also, CSL has her store set up in the dance studio. Fanny does not like this, but Cozette does a dance incorporating the hangers and mannequins. Dancing with a mannequin, that brings me back to my junior prom.


The accountant is meeting with a couple who he has to inform are too poor to buy a mobile home. Man, that is poor. Actually, the couple wants to buy it as a second home. There is a Jeff Foxworthy joke there.

This is when Michelle and Fanny burst in to proclaim, “We’re going to build an amphitheater!” on their land. The accountant asks how they will pay for it. “We plan to pay with money,” says Fanny. “We’ll just get one of those loany things,” adds Michelle. Women and money…

Michelle signed up to take business classes at the community college so they can be ready for their new venture. I think Lorelei did that. But then Michelle gets a phone call. It turns out Michelle went to the ceremony but never actually graduated from high school. “I think I forgot to finish high school,” Michelle tells Fanny. She had to make up a credit in summer school but went to Dollywood instead and forgot. No, for real. That was what happened.

courtesy: heyfahy.tumblr.com

courtesy: heyfahy.tumblr.com

Melanie talked to her brother’s friends and learns her bro was deep in love with that girl when she dumped him. Melanie is beginning to have empathy for her sibling, because by the lockers, she grabs his ex by her ponytail, throws her to the floor, and keeps on walking. Took her down like a boss!

It’s trivia night at the oyster bar. The three girls are at a table. Michelle partners with the woman who played Gypsy on GG. Michelle misses a Broadway question and openly declares that discovering she did not graduate high school is making her dumber. Gypsy is not surprised Michelle did not graduate.


Michelle only came her tonight because the bartender she made out with is back in town. She makes the mistake of telling him about not graduating. Michelle needs to stop telling people that. It’s neither something to be proud of nor an appropriate anecdote for small talk. Michelle assumed since this guy is a surf bro who bartends, he would have a comparable level of non-education. However, he is offended and informs her he has a Masters in Oceanography and will pursue a PhD. This surprises Michelle. Normally a guy who looks and acts like him would say something like, “Yeah, I got a Master’s degree, in mastering da’ pussy!”

The girls watch Michelle strikes out. Ginny gives a brutal assessment:

“You really do have to get married by a certain age or it’s so, so sad.”

Michelle talks to accountant, then Millie. Millie agrees to invest in the amphitheater, and also name it after herself.

Cozette invites Mel to a roller derby team after seeing her take down that bitch the other day. Cozette and Frankie win trivia night because they are perfect.

The girls head to Sasha’s house. Everything is packed up in boxes except her bedroom. This surprises Mel and Ginny as they did not know that Sasha was moving. Sasha tells them her parents are, but she refuses to. Sasha’s mom is tired of her stubbornness and threatens to leave without her tomorrow.  Sasha goes to cry to Michelle.


The episode ends with dance led by Sasha to express the pain she feels. Art!

Grade: A+

This episode was damn near perfect. It is the first in which the writing reached the high level of Gilmore Girls and showed that wonderful Sherman-Palladino dialogue style: smart and fast and snappy without going overboard into Juno territory. You feeling what I’m revealing, homeslice? Plus, the dynamic between Fanny and Michelle is really great now that they no longer despise each other (though it does seem like Fanny has gotten dumber in Michelle’s presence) and I’m looking forward to what happens with the amphitheater project. Also, the story of Sasha dealing with her parents’ divorce, which I complained before was getting pushed into the background, looks to be going somewhere interesting now. It was bumpy at first, but it looks like Bunheads has gotten into its groove.

Cultural References:

  • Annie Hall, Christopher Walken
  • Boy Meets World
  • Breaking Bad
  • The Catcher & the Rye
  • Criminal Minds
  • Dollywood
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Judy Garland & Mickey Rooney
  • John Hughes
  • Incredible Hulk
  • Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
  • KISS
  • Christopher McCandless
  • Meyer Lansky & Bugsy Siegel
  • Les Misérables
  • Mario Lopez
  • Occupy Wall Street
  • On the Road
  • Pride & Prejudice
  • Jerry Seinfeld
  • South Park
  • Sundance Film Festival
  • Tonka Toys
  • United Nations
  • The Wire