Degrassi: 11.36 & 37 “Not Ready to Make Nice”

Season 11 Episodes 36 & 37
Airdates: March 16 & 23 2012

Part 1

Clare and Jake must continue to be around each other post-breakup as they are step-siblings and live in the same house. Dear God, that is fucked up. Jake’s 17th birthday is today and his dad says he should invite his new girlfriend to dinner. Clare wonders who this cunt could be.

At school, Connor intercepts a football thrown in the hallway that KC was going to catch or was more likely was going to hit a girl in the head. Connor wants to tryout for football. He thinks he will be able to control his Asperger’s enough to fit in.

Clare thinks Ali is Jake’s new girl, as she tried to steal him in the past. Ali says she is not the culprit. It was Jenna! This is a Law & Order twist. Clare/Detective Munch thought the perp was the one guy, but then it was revealed to be the other guy! Clare, being Clare, throws a fit in the classroom. The teacher tells Clare to calm down or “share her angst” with Principal Simpson, who always looks forward taking part in girl talk. I did not mean that as a joke. He really does enjoy it. He makes mocktinis and starts up his hot max machine. Then he makes you watch My Best Friend’s Wedding while giving each other facials.

Meanwhile, Fiona, Imogen and Eli have a plot. I guess Fiona is friends with Eli now. The girls jokingly ask Eli to help them get revenge on Katie and Parasail. But Eli says he is retired from that game. The last kid he took revenge on tried to stab him, so it would be a good time to do so.

Clare goes to a used bookstore to look for vampire romance fiction. Clare is still into vampire romance books, like Fortnight, which was the in-universe Twilight. I wonder what the Degrassi in-universe version of The Hunger Games will be called. Probably something like The Starving Contest. The owner recommends a book. Her name is Summer and she and her boyfriend help out troubled teens. There is a troubled teen with her named Brie who says one line in these entire two episodes.

Now to football tryouts. The boys rag each other, which Connor doesn’t really understand the concept of. It’s simple, son, just make a joke that someone masturbates a lot. Most guy-on-guy taunting is about how the other guy masturbates a lot, which is funny since all boys masturbate a lot. Moe makes fun of Owen for dating a girl who joined the army. Oh, that’s right, Anya ended up dating Owen. Anya was a retard her senior year.

OMG! Coach Armstrong is still here! At least, I think that’s him. I’m one of those white people who can’t tell two black people apart. I want to say it’s him, but this guy has a shaved head…so I don’t know for certain. Connor does better than Moe at that thing where you push up against a man sized bag. That indicates he is good football material!

Clare is reading in her room when Jenna and Jake walk by. Clare screams into a pillow.

I thought Fiona and Imogen were making cookies but then it is revealed they are pouring a tiny layer cement. They are building a dollhouse for their arts and crafts class. They are in Arts & Crafts II, the second year class. First year Arts & Crafts is boring because you spend half of the year spreading peanut butter on pine cones. But you gots to learn the fundamentals of arts & crafts before you can build a dollhouse. Imogen mentions her dad is a university professor, which explains so much about Imogen. Fiona asks if she will ever get back with Eli. Imogen finds this to be an oddly timed question. But Fiona says she just wants to see her two best friends get together so she can be the third wheel.

Jenna is a guest at the Clare and Jake and parents family dinner. When they ask what she has been up to, Jenna answers, “I actually had a baby earlier this year.” Oh, that’s what you introduce yourself with? I assume Jake’s dad is as much of a religious nut as Clare’s mom, but both parents are courteous towards her. Clare is all pissy, though, so much so that both Jake’s dad and her mom tell her to go to her room. That’s embarrassing.

Before she leaves, Clare sics her claws on Jenna by saying, “Just make sure you stock up on condoms Jake, this one’s fertile!” Clare should get back at Jenna by dating Jenna’s step-brother.

“I have a dumb crush on Imogen,” Fiona admits to her mom. Fiona’s plan is to get Imogen and Eli together so Imogen does not suspect she is gay for her. Fiona says Holly J was weird after she developed a crush on her. I thought Holly J was a pretty loyal friend after Fiona came out. Maybe Holly J was weirded out and Fiona only went to see her when she was undergoing dialysis and couldn’t move.

Connor has made the team. He is the starting “nose tackle” which I assume is a real thing in football. Moe is pissed that he is the backup. Connor uses science to explain that Moe is slower than him due to being fat. Moe tells the whole team to come with him to go eat wings; only Connor is not invited. I like how after he was told he didn’t make starter because of his weight he goes out for fatty food. He probably eats because he is sad and is sad because he is so fat. It’s a terrible cycle.

Clare doesn’t want to go back home with her mom and Jake, so asks her dad if she can live with him. Her dad says no. Ha!

Fiona meets Eli at the Dot. When Eli has his after school hair, he looks like he belongs in middle school. He could grow a beard and people would be like, “Why is that 12 year wearing a beard?” Fiona tries to coax him to admit he has feelings for Imogen, which he doesn’t. But Fiona keeps pushing it and Eli is like, “Well…I don’t dislike her.” This is enough for Fiona to plan a date.

Clare tells her mom she is going to go live with her dad. Of course it’s a lie, but her mom and dad will never phone one another to find out. Clare shows up at the door of Summer’s home and is welcomed in.

Connor and KC talk. Connor thinks Moe will stop picking on him if Moe gets a girlfriend. Connor thinks he can find Moe one. “By my estimation,” states Connor, “37% of relationships that begin online are successful.” His estimation? So, he met two other 35-year-old women on Canadian World of Warcraft, and one of them led to a successful relationship?

The next morning, Clare joins Summer, Summer’s boyfriend Cash, and some kids who don’t speak and are barely on camera for breakfast. Clare checks her cell phone, but is informed they are not allowed. “You can’t let a piece of plastic with some wires have such power over your mood, Clare” says Summer, “Ditch the phone—for yourself.” Summer looks just like Jennie Schechter from The L Word and talks like her in the last half of the series when she was written to be as obnoxious as possible. Clare picks up the good vibrations and purposefully drops her phone in the fish tank. It’s actually called the Phish tank; the fish are named Trey, John, Mike and Page. You can only imagine what is in their fish food.

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