Season 11 Episodes 42 & 43
Airdates: April 27 & May 4, 2012
Bianca hands in her test in early. “I nailed it,” she brags the teacher, but forgot to add, “That’s what she said!” While the other students are still at work, Bianca sits back at her desk and files her nails, which bothers Katie. Bianca is called to the principal’s office for a random check in with her probation officer. Bianca has to comply with random drug tests and a curfew and have her attendance and grades checked or, her probation officer warns, will “face serious charges for your association with Vincent Bell.” That must be Stinger Bell’s cousin who runs their northern operations, mostly smuggling cheap American cigarettes north of the border and trafficking BC bud and maple syrup south.
The probation officer wants to arrange a home visit with Bianca’s guardian, her aunt. Bianca says her aunt works a lot and then makes some joke about the probation officer being an old lady or something. I didn’t get it. Mr. Simpson also seemed like he was trying to flirt with the officer. He finds a woman who can send someone to jail to be a big turn on, owing to all those times Spike stripped him naked and locked him in a cage in their basement for the night. Simpson notes that Bianca’s grades are up. “Fine, you got me,” Bianca admits flatly, “I like school. Big whoop.” “You have options, Bianca,” Principal Simpson says. “We allow students to remain in school for up to three years past their graduation date.”
Katie is still taking Codeine–like twenty pills at a time–in the hallway in front of Drew, who suspects this may be a problem, but wouldn’t know what Codeine is or what the proper dosage would be. Bianca approaches them with a stack of University applications Simpson gave her, but she finds the process of going to college too overwhelming, saying, “I’d have to choose a school, pick a major…blah blah blah.” If a half-retarded frat boy can do this, surly Bianca can. Katie offers to help. The first step, she says, is for Bianca to focus on her marketable talents, “something that doesn’t take place in a boiler room.” Bianca laughs at being called a slut. Bianca says her only skill is selling weed, so Katie says she could apply to business school. No, that’s really what Katie recommends. “So how did you find drugs to sell anyway?” Katie asks…for no particular reason whatsoever. “It’s all about the Connects,” Bianca explains, “like the Jay-Z song.” Bianca says she is not in that game anymore and trying to turn her life around. Be a “Better Bianca” as she says.
Bianca and Katie are going to be friends now. Katie is dating Drew and I think Drew and Bianca are friends. But I also seem to remember that Drew and Bianca used to date. This while thing is kablooey. Anyway, Bianca takes Katie to a club because Katie totally wanted to go to a club…for social reasons. They have fake IDs, but Katie wonders if she can pull off looking older. Bianca says it would help if she showed more cleavage, but her top isn’t really designed to reveal any. Katie jokes that unlike Bianca, she does not have “a closet full of slut wear.” Bianca laughs. Bianca is really good at being self-deprecating.
The club is bopping. The girls are hit on by Jesse Pinkman, who knows Bianca, but she calls him a “skeeze” and avoids him. When Bianca gets out of the bathroom, she sees that Katie bought Oxycotin from Pinkman. “My knee still hurts,” says Katie and makes Bianca promise not to tell. Not just promise, but pinky swear. A pinky swear is legally binding contract in four Canadian provinces, including Ontario.
Later, Katie is dancing with Pinkman. Bianca has to leave because of her curfew. But Katie doesn’t want to go, and is also now talking like a baby. Katie is high “The only high you should be is in high school,” Bianca says and drags her home.
In Katie’s kitchen, Katie says Bianca is “acting like a sheep” but that’s an act to steal Drew back. “You’re a wolf,” says Katie. “Shutup,” says Bianca. “If I was an animal, I’d be a dolphin.” Bianca is sick of Katie’s jibba jabba, so sprays her with water from the kitchen hose. The commotion causes Maya to come downstairs (their parents couldn’t be bothered). Bianca tells Maya that her sister is on drugs and leaves.
Bianca sneaks into Drew’s bedroom. They kiss, but she leaves when they hear his mother coming down to tell him to go to bed already. When his mom is back upstairs, Bianca appears on the other side of his window and they touch hands against the glass. 12-year-old Degrassi viewers will think this is the most romantic thing ever.
Mini-Connor wants to go visit Jacinta in the hospital, which makes Ali feel jealous. “You can talk to me, you know,” she says to Mini-Connor. “OK, Ali, how are you recovering after getting hit by a car?” Ali suggests they instead spend the evening together and watch an “action-adventury movie” which to Ali always means Miss Congeniality.
“When did my life become a soap opera?” Ali asks Jenna after school. “My life was boring until I enrolled in Degrassi,” Jenna replies. “Ever since then it seems like something crazy happens to me or my friends at least once a week. By the way, do you ever get the strange feeling that it takes two years to get through one grade?”
Actually, Jenna gets in the best line of this episode when she has to calm her friend’s jealousy about Jacinta.
“You can’t be jealous of her. She may never walk again.”
Jenna looks up Jacinta online and finds Venezuelan telecommunications company and a “Get Well Jacinta” page on Facerange. A lot of comments were nasty notes about how the accident is Mini-Connor’s fault. Ali knows something about harmful Facerange pages and feels that she needs to reply to each comment to defend of her boyfriend. Ali is the type of person who would spend hours getting into a posting war with complete strangers.
Mary Shawl is reluctant to be seen in public as Moe’s girlfriend and they have yet to go on an official date. They enjoy coffee at the Dot, but Mary Shawl doesn’t consider this to be a date and uses the time to do homework. Moe feels he needs something impressive to get her to go on actual date with her, so proposes they bungee jump off the CN Tower. You know the CN Tower as the moment at the center of the climax of Canadian Bacon, Michael Moore’s best film.
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