Degrassi: 12.07 & 08 “Say It Ain’t So”

Season 12 Episodes 7 & 8
Airdates: July 25 & 26, 2012

I will review the summer 2012 episodes that are named after songs I like.

Part 1

A Plot:

Alli is mixing chemicals in a classroom. It’s late at night and she is working alone. Is Alli trying to bring back the dead? That’s usually what this means. Mini-Connor enters the room, and comments on how late it is and also that no one else is around. Usually, that means he is going to be tricked into being used as her test subject. All we need is a lighting crash to complete the mood. “Simpson gave me after hours access to work on my research,” Alli explains because Alli is suddenly a scientist now. Simpson is in his Disney Princess pajamas watching iCarly in his office, so can lock up when Alli is ready to leave.

Alli and Mini-Connor make out. Alli was in the middle of something important and I think a lot of chemical mixtures are time sensitive, but Alli has never thought clearly in the past and isn’t going to now. Mini-Connor throws off his jacket…right onto a Bunsen burner. Alli has to put it out with a fire extinguisher and tells Mini-Connor to leave. Way to kill the mood, Bunsen burner.

The next day, Simpson has his diaper in a knot about the fire. “Please please please do not shut down my experiment,” Alli pleads. “My aunt died from breast cancer and I’m almost at a break through!” So Alli is trying to bring the dead to life! Actually, the truth is even weirder. Alli is working on way to detect breast cancer on a person’s breath. No, for real.

Simpson tells Alli that a former student of his who does research at MIT is in town and wants to meet Alli and see her work. Alli replies that she won’t graduate for another year, as if that excludes her from talking to someone about college now. Simpson pulls out a stack of papers from the top drawer of his desk and informs her that she has already earned almost enough credits to graduate a year early. Simpson had that paperwork together rather quick. Simpson just wants Alli out of here. Maybe he is proud that a student who is leaving Degrassi early isn’t dropping out for once. I ran the numbers a few years back and found that only a third of Degrassi students graduate on time.

“I can’t believe this is real,” Alli tells Clare. Last night, Alli looked up The Massachusetts Institute of Technology on Wikipedia and was blown away that a university that nice would be interested in her.

Later, Alli explains to the woman from MIT how she manufactures the cancerous breath compound right here in the school science lab and her teacher orders the materials she needs. Wait a minute, I know what’s really going on here! I know why Alli’s breast cancer breathalyzer doesn’t make sense. This is all a just ruse so Alli can run a meth lab in Degrassi. This is Breaking Bad Canada.

By the way, this MIT woman looks older than Paige and Spinner would be now, and they were the inaugural class at Degrassi Community School. I assume Simpson was teaching somewhere else before Degrassi opened. His life between Degrassi High and Degrassi TNG is so mysterious.

Alli is offered a scholarship to MIT. Her parents are so excited. They call everyone they know to brag about their daughter.

Jenna suddenly appears. She was in the background; the camera kept her direct behind Alli. Alli’s birth control beeper goes off. She realizes she has been so busy that she hasn’t taken a birth control pill in three days. Oh no! “Just take three now,” advises Jenna, the girl who was pregnant.

Alli buys a pregnancy test but her mother finds it. Alli pins it on Jenna, who would be the likely suspect. It turns out Jenna lives with the Bhandaris and Alli’s parents are her guardians. Alli’s mom is upset that Jenna is so irresponsible after she already had one baby. “We have too many white people in this country as it is,” complains Alli’s mom.

Jenna takes the heat for Alli and gets totally chewed out. “We knew you had a baby when you came here,” says Alli’s mom, “but we were not aware you were trying to have another!” She also calls Jenna a floozy. Jenna is now under a tighter leash. She will not be allowed to have boys over and has a 9pm curfew.

Alli can’t take the pregnancy test for a few more days because it takes awhile for a baby to show up in your pee, so Alli is going to be worrying for a while. She asks Jenna what it feels like to be pregnant. Why ask Jenna? She didn’t know she know she was pregnant for like a year.

Mini-Connor comes over. Alli informs him she might be pregnant. We learn that Alli told him he didn’t need to use a condom when they did the deed because she is on the pill. Alli would say that. Then Alli throws up. It could be the pregnancy or Alli could have eaten something that was past its date. I’d believe either.


B Plot:

Some students are working on their applications to college, but Jake says does not plan to go. The other kids find that bizarre. “You want to stay here?” Katie asks. Sure, why not? This is Toronto, not a farm town in Kansas. Katie says she intends to go to college far away, such as Hawaii or California. I guess Canadian kids apply to college so they can get the hell out of Canada. You’re considered a loser if you only get accepted to the University of Toronto or McGill.

Jake’s dad runs a construction company (that appears to be just Jake’s dad and truck) and Jake wants his dad’s business to go green. Jake scolds his father for not putting a pop can in the recycling bin. Jake thinks anything he can do is going to make a bit of difference to save the planet. Poor naïve bastard.

Back at school, Jake sees one of the hockey players throw a pop can in the garbage. When the hockey player refuses to place it in recycling, Jake starts a fight. “I’m going to save the earth from your punk ass!” Ms. Oh breaks it up and sends them to detention. By that, she means the detention where they will have wash her car while wearing only jean shorts.

Katie is in detention too. I think for something involving her drug daze. The teacher who is supervising this is asleep, so Katie takes Jake to the roof of the school. Jake says this would be an excellent place to plant an organic farm, with solar power too, which I don’t think a garden needs, but Jake is on a roll. I don’t know if the whole loving the earth thing has been a long time aspect of Jake’s personality or suddenly appeared in this episode like Jimmy being an artist, because I’ve just realized I haven’t seen Jake have a storyline until now.


C Plot:

Cam the hockey player gets to the end of the lunch line. Maya says he can sit with her friends, but Dallas steers him to the table with his fellow teammates. “As if you’re going to sit with those girls,” Dallas says. “What are you, gay?” “Sitting with girls is gay?” Cam asks. “No,” replies Dallas, “but questions like that are.” I give you the most realistic teenage dialogue in Degrassi history. The hockey team plans to watch the girls dance practice after school, but Cam says he had planed to Skype with his girlfriend back home. The other players make fun of him for having a girlfriend instead of wanting to watch girls like creeps. The hockey team is weird.

Cam practices shooting pucks in the basketball court. Dallas enters with a sarcastic clap and knows Cam doesn’t really have girlfriend and only said that because he doesn’t want to hang out with the team. Dallas is very wise. Dallas says that Cam has to learn to get along with the other players and Cam is ordered to join his team at the mall after school where they will harass girls.

At the mall, we learn that Cam has been featured in the newspaper as a future NHL prospect. Dallas says Cam is going to be a millionaire, so should start hitting on girls. He dares Cam to pick up a certain girl at the mall. That girl is Bianca. Ah shit.

Cam sits down next to Bianca, who can’t believe how bad this boy is at hitting on her. He stutters and brags that he is going to be in the NHL in a few years, which does not impress Bianca because 2/3 of the boys in Canada probably say that.

“Do you,” Cam stutters, “…do you…want to get out of here…go get some…sex?” Bianca throws water on his face. That was more of a mercy killing than anything else.

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