Season 12 Episodes 11 & 12
Airdates: August 1 & 2, 2012
Clare serves coffee during a pitch meeting at the newspaper she interns. Asher Shostak, the man she reports too, lets her sit in on the meeting. His story pitch is about someone who died due to being kept in the waiting room of a Canadian hospital too long. Wait, that happens for real? I thought it was a right wing smear. Are the writers making fun of that? Oh Degrassi writers trying to be clever! Almost, guys. Almost.
Anyway, Clare tries to pitch a story, but the editor adjourns the meeting before she can get more than a couple of syllables out.
Back at Degrassi, Clare expresses to Eli and Alli how happy she is to be working under the tutelage of “The Asher Shostak”, who is a big shot journalist in Canada. He exposed the Sponsorship Scandal, in which the Liberal government misspent $5 million in taxpayer funds that were supposed to be used to maintain the Strategic Maple Syrup Reserves. Asher’s expose brought down the government of Paul Martin in 2006 and he was bestowed the Rupert Murdoch Award for Excellence in Journalism.
Clare says she has “Asher-meningitis” which sounds like something fatal if it were real. Since she couldn’t get her voice out in the meeting, Clare emailed her pitch to Asher, but now is suddenly close to crying because maybe Asher won’t like it and will fire her and that will be the end of her career! Calm down, Clare, you are pursing a job in print journalism; you won’t have a career no matter what. This paper will be lucky to be in business by the time your internship ends.
Asher has Clare meet her at an Ethiopian restaurant, which is an ironic thing to see in Canada considering there is no food in Ethiopia. Asher wants Clare to pitch him a story, one that he couldn’t come up with on his own. So Clare tells him a good story would be her school’s musical. “But there’s a twist,” Clare says, without saying what it is. The twist is the whole play is in blackface.
The play is another one of Eli’s dumb little plays. Asher arrives at the auditorium where Clare introduces him to Eli and then Asher has her fetch him coffee. Asher watches Tristan and Tori sing a duet, which Asher can only stomach because he used to be a war correspondent. When Clare returns, she apologies to the point of almost crying for taking so long and Asher says he has to go back to the office and the article will be in tomorrow’s paper.
Clare wanted to co-write this article so she could include all sort of things that would make Eli look good so he could include it in his NYU application. Clare lists off some of Eli’s accomplishments as a director, including the fact that Eli was able to get Mini-Connor to act like he likes men (it involved hypnotism, with hilarious results). I think it’s pretty unethical of Clare to use the paper to promote her boyfriend, but if I said that to Clare’s face, she’d probably start crying.
Clare catches up to Asher before he leaves and asks to write the article herself. Asher likes her moxie.
“I like your moxie, Newsie.”
No reason the intern couldn’t write it, Asher reasons; it’s just a thing about some dumb little high school play. Asher hands her his notes and tells her to get the article to him in two hours.
Clare types up the piece while Eli is in the room. She emails it to Asher and is excited that “the Steven Spielberg of journalism” will read it. Clare should have called him the next Caitlin Ryan. It would have been a great shoutout to 2000s-era Degrassi. Though Caitlin was such a dumbass I bet no one in Canadian journalism has respect for her. After doing it with Kevin Smith, her career was over. Remember back when the adults on Degrassi had storylines? It was nice if you liked the continuation from Degrassi: Junior High, but the writers never switched from kid-story mode to adult-story mode when they wrote for the adults, so the adults always had plotlines about relationships and cheating, which resulted in a bunch of 30-somethings acting as immature as the teenagers around them.
After Clare emails the finished article, she asks Eli to proofread it, which she should have asked before emailing it. Eli reads a sentence which includes the phrase “to boldly create a story”. Clare freaks.
“I split the infinitive. How could I be so stupid?”
Clare frantically leaves Asher a voicemail then tells Eli she has to go see him in person. Clare is worried she will have blown her career when Asher comes across a grammatical error no one abides by in English because it isn’t actually a rule and following it usually will make a sentence sound fucked up. Clare finds Asher at the office, where he says that he has had to re-write her article, because it is full of errors and every paragraph beings by stating how dreamy the director is. “I failed you,” Clare cries for the dozenth time today. Asher says she can stay and they will finish the article together. He probably worried what Clare would do to herself if he sent her home. She seems really unstable. Better she have someone watching her.
Asher says he is happy to teach Clare journalism. Then he stares into her eyes and KISSES HER! Clare is stunned and has to leave.
In Asher’s defense, he probably thought Clare was 35 based on how she dresses. She also cries randomly so often he may have thought she was in the beginnings of menopause. Seriously, if you made a drinking game out of all the times Clare has been in tears this episode, you’d be passed out by now.
Bianca is a member of the quiz team that KC and Connor are a part of. Actually, that was the Science Olympics, but this appears to be a different club as the questions are about Canadian geography. Bianca guessed the wrong province on a question and her teammates throws stuff at her. Quiz team is intense.
Out of the blue, KC’s mom appears. She brought snacks, which pleases Connor, and then sits down next to Bianca and interrupts the team so she can chat with Bianca about boys. KC’s mom is one of those adult women who live vicariously though teenagers and their adolescent bullshit. She asks if Bianca has a boyfriend in school and Bianca says no because Drew dropped out. I don;t watch every episode, mind you, but according to my research, this is how the viewers learned Drew dropped out. There are 235 episodes of Degrassi per year, but Drew leaving school is reduced to a throw-away line in the B plot.
KC and Bianca decide that his mom needs a man, so plot to set her up with Mr. Townshead, their English teacher (who is English) and quiz team adviser. KC is a waitress at Little Miss Steaks and knows Townshead goes there every week to wallow in his misery. So they get KC’s mom to come when they know Townshead is there and introduce them. Townshead asks Mrs. Guthrie to play darts, which is a British/Irish pub thing, but is part of a western restaurant. I’d expect that kind of mix-up in an Old West themed eatery in Japan, but this is unacceptable Canada.
Later, KC’s mom tells him not to set her up with anymore guys. She is kind of pissed that Mr. Townshead is such an English ninny.
In class, Tristan says something gay to Maya, but she was not paying attention as she had her focus on Cam, who is at a nearby table. Cam asked her out but they have yet to go on an official date. Tristan leads Maya and Tori in a gay sing-a-long, which briefly gets Cam’s attention, but he sees it is stupid and goes back to his book.
Also, Degrassi appears to have an indoor rainforest that Katie tends. Katie does not like that her little sister is with Cam. “Hockey guys are bad news,” says Katie. Why does everyone at Degrassi hate the hockey team? I thought Canadians worshipped hockey players. Wayne Gretsky is to Canada what Churchill is to Britain or Lincoln is to America or the Flight of the Concords guys are to New Zealand. The Degrassi writers must have gotten picked on by hockey players in high school and this is their revenge.
Anyway, Maya says Katie is just bitter about losing Drew, but Katie will only let Maya date Cam if she can chaperone, saying it is for Maya’s own good. Katie wants to tag along so she can have something to do tonight.
So Katie is the third wheel on Cam and Maya’s mall and movie date. Katie chews out Cam for liking a character in the movie who was a womanizer. Then Katie pointedly asks Cam if he is a virgin. To get Katie off his back, Maya is all, “Look over there! Drew is kissing Bianca!” and grabs Cam to run away when her back is turned. Also, Katie looks like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. Cam and Maya duck into a photo booth, but instead of Maya giving him a blowjob while the camera flashes like a normal couple, they just make awkward small talk.
Later, Maya goes over her date with Tori. Cam was very standoffish and Tori says that was because Katie made Cam uncomfortable. Tori says that being a hockey player, Cam wants to be the alpha male in any situation. I don’t know about that. I don’t think Cam wants to be an alpha, and is only a male because there is no third option.
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