Season 12 Episodes 31 & 32
Airdates: February 15 & 22, 2013
The hockey team has a personal bus to take them to school in the morning. It’s like how in America, school districts will lavish lots of money frivolously on the football team. Except in Canada they play hockey. Degrassi used to have a football team, but they don’t anymore. I think it was just a personal project of the Shep’s, so was cancelled after he was killed in a knife fight in Montreal. Remember Principal the Shep? What the hell was the deal with that guy?
Also, Cam went home over spring break but is back now. Also, his arm is no longer broken. He is probably still a whiny bitch, though. Maya greets him and they kiss.
Also, Drew is re-enrolled in school. Now that his mom approves of Bianca, he is no longer trying to get back at her by ruining his life.
It’s Spirit Week. Cam and Maya are on different teams. He is on red with his hockey bros and she is on green with Zig. There are teams in Spirit Week? In my school, it was grade vs. grade and we just had to wear a different thing each day, and you were still lucky to get a 20% participation rate. All the hoopla is because Fiona is organizing this. As this is her fifth year, she gets to be in charge due to seniority.
All the kids are hanging in the hallway, getting ready for Spirit Week and stuff. Simpson says over the PA that Spirit Week “is not a legitimate reason to miss class”, but no one listens to him. Degrassi kids don’t need a reason to skip class.
Tristan warns Cam that Zig is going to make a move on Maya. Does Cam know about Maya and Zig’s kiss from awhile back? I don’t recall. But, also, Tristan doesn’t like Zig all of the sudden and even calls Zig a “bloodsucker”. Tristan is way too gay to be able to utter a swearword, so him saying someone is a “bloodsucker” is like one of us calling someone a “motherfucking shit eating cunt”. Yeah, it’s that intense. Tristan must still be mad at Zig for taking Tori away from him by dating her. Which means Tristan doesn’t have his partner around as much to put on musicals in his bedroom. Last Saturday was the opening night of Chicago and Tristan had to play both Roxie and Velma. It was hard work, but got rave reviews in the Owen Observer.
Anyway, Team red and green face off on a floor hockey game in the gym. Cam lets his jealousy of Zig being near Maya, and the right when the game starts, Cam jabs Zig in the eye and then knocks him down. “Fight me!” Cam yells. Cam is all hopped up on whole milk. Mr. Simpson runs up to stop the fight by waving his arms around and crying, “Whoa! Whoa!” Mr. Simpson makes Woody Allen look manly.
Cam and Zig are taken to Simpson’s office. Dallas is here to stick up for Cam…apparently as Cam’s attorney? And Maya is a witness. You ask me, the trouble is all these kids are wearing their team bandanas around their foreheads which makes them feel like gang members.
Cam is suspended for the rest of the week. Wow, a Degrassi student received actual punishment for assault. It’s been years since there has been real punishment for violence out of the many, many times there has been violence in this school. Though, going by the school’s track record, I will bet today is a Friday.
Cam is removing things from his locker when Dallas comes up to him and is all, “I had an awesome talk with coach!” Dallas says that sarcastically, I should add; one would hardly think that talk would have been awesome. By the way, we have never seen this coach. I assumed until now it was Dallas. Degrassi has a cast of four dozen kids at any one time, so the producers save by not hiring adults.
Dallas says the hockey season may be lost now that Cam, their star, can’t play again after he just recovered from a (self-inflicted) broken arm. “I don’t want to play,” cries Cam. Dallas says that is tough and just because Cam is all but assured a spot in the NHL doesn’t mean the rest of the team still doesn’t need him to be all that he can be.
“The whole team is counting on you Cam—You! Get your head on, man! And stop crying where everyone can see you. It’s embarrassing.”
Cam hates playing hockey so it must be horrible that he is being drafted into the NHL apparently against his will. Cam goes into a classroom and kicks a desk out of frustration. He thought the room was empty but Alli is sitting in the back. “I was just writing a cheer for team purple,” Alli explains. “But I can’t think of a word that rhymes with ‘purple’. I’ve been sitting here for three days!”
Cam cries about how he messed up his whole life and all the pressure he is under.
“I’m tired. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.”
Oh man, Degrassi is never subtle, so we know exactly where this is going. Alli says that everyone has bad days. “All my days are bad,” mopes Cam. Oh yeah, what’s going to happen is not at all a surprise.
On Alli’s advice, Cam brings flowers to Maya’s house. Maya is practicing the cello because she has an audition for an orchestra. Knowing Degrassi, she will get hired as a means for the character to leave the show.
The two make up and cuddle on the couch while watching a movie on her phone. Maybe this makes me old and out of touch, but I want to yell to the kids that they are in the living room and there is an actual TV set right there. Do kids watch movies as a group via cell phones? Couples supposedly listen to an iPod together by each using one earbud, but that would annoy me because most songs are in stereo so I’d be missing half. “Hey, how is the song for you? All I’m getting are the drums and the bass.”
Katie says it is late and Cam has to go home. Since the producers didn’t want to pay for the parents to appear, Katie is in charge tonight. Cam doesn’t want to leave and Maya wants him to spend the night. After some begging, Katie agrees so long as Cam sleeps on the couch so there won’t be any hanky panky. Maya and Cam are excited. They are going to paint each other’s toenails and watch The Real Housewives of Halifax.
It’s the morning. Katie wakes Maya up, who was asleep on the couch and finds that Cam already left. Typical boy. She sees he recorded a message on her phone to tell her he had to leave for morning hockey practice, which begins at, like, 4am.
Cam is sitting on the schools steps before class, despite, you know, being suspended. Zig walks by and Cam trash talks him, gloating about the black eye and winning Maya. What’s great is that Cam is holding a box of chicken while he squints his eyes and tears Zig down. “Hey fuckface,” shoots back Zig. “Fuck you and your fucking face.” Then Zig calls Cam a “physco” and says soon Maya will find that out. “If you cared about her at all,” Zig tells Cam, “then you’d get out her life now—forever.” This gets in Cam’s head.
Cam and Maya had planned to have lunch by the steps, even though Cam is not allowed to be at school. So Maya is surprised when it’s lunchtime Cam is not there. This is when she gets a text from Cam breaking up with her. Ah man. At least he left the two chicken meals for her. Maya is going to be hungry. She’s a girl, and pretty small, so I doubt she’ll be able to eat both boxes. I hope she maybe puts the uneaten meal in her locker to take home or gives it to someone who will appreciate it, like Moe. I’d hate to think she’d throw a perfectly good chicken meal away. Man, I’m thinking way too much about that chicken.
Dallas hits on Alli. I don’t recall when she and Mini-Connor broke up, but I suppose they must have. And Dallas knows she is willing to date black guys. The two did sort of bond when Alli was abusing trucker pills and not sleeping, but I am not sure how much Alli remembers from that time. They were all set to go on their first date, but Alli calls it off after learning Dallas yelled at Cam and made him cry.
Clare finds a notice on her locker that she has to move her things to the Tech wing. All the lockers along that section have the same notice. Mini-Connor is there to explain that the maintenance people have to move lockers to fix an electrical thing in the roof. Hmm…that is odd. Why would those lockers need to be moved to get into the roof? And it was awfully convenient of Mini-Connor to be right there to explain it to them.
This sounds like an Oceans 11 style scheme. First, get everyone in that part of the building away for the day. Then, two janitors who look suspiciously like Mini-Connor and Moe with fake mustaches will move the lockers and then tear down the wall behind them. This is their elaborate scheme to place cameras in the girls locker room.
Anyway, as a girl, Clare wants nothing to do with the Tech wing. Eli offers to share his locker with her for the time being. Clare quickly decorates it with all her vampire stuff. At least Eli tells people the posters of the shirtless hunks belong to Clare. Eli finds Clare’s diary. Mini-Connor tells him to read it. He is all about stirring up trouble today. It must be part of his scheme that they break up. They will go to the school counselor, and she’ll be distracted from her normal 11:15 check of the the locker room.
Eli at first does not want to read her diary, but then does. He is upset to find that Clare wrote about how she thought she loved Jake back when they were semi-incestuously dating. Of course Clare would write that at the time. I think Eli is feeling territorial because Jake is his bud bud. By that I mean they smoke marijuana together, you know, so they are bud buds. Yeah, I’m trying to make that a term. Spread it around.
It’s a good thing Eli happened to read the part about Jake instead of the many passages Clare would have written about dealing with Eli’s craziness.