Season 12 Episodes 35 & 36
Airdates: March 15 & 22, 2013
Fiona is happy because she and Imogen have been accepted into design school. That must have been an effort for Imogen, but I doubt was very hard for Fiona, since you can pretty much get into any school when your parents are rich. I wonder if it will be weird for Imogen to have classes in the Fiona Coyne building. Fiona won’t even notice.
Drew announces he is going to move out now that he has made up with mommy. Drew wants to be with his family. Also, every time he brings Bianca over, Fiona expects her to clean up. “She is a poor,” Fiona will explain. “It is her station in life.”
Now Fiona needs a new roommate. She goes on Twitter to complain and includes the hashtag #formerichgirlproblems. That’ll get her a ton of sympathy.
At school, Fiona sits with Eli and Imogen. Imogen says something about zombie blood. Let’s not linger on that. Eli asks Fiona why she needs a roommate when her family owns the castle. Wait, then why was Drew paying rent? Fiona explains that she has other expenses, such as food and helicopter maintenance and will have to get a job.
Fiona goes to the mall to apply for work. She brings with her pink resumes. That is not the oddest thing. The oddest thing is that Fiona has something she can put on a resume. Also, no job a teenager could get requires a resume. You fill out an application. When you get a little older, then you will need to submit a resume and fill out an application because life is insane.
Mini-Connor gets Fiona job at Juwanna Juice. No, that is really the name. She is hired right away. The last time two kids shared a job at the mall, it was Paige and Alex and they became lovers. Perhaps Mini-Connor and Fiona will become a lesbian couple, too!
After work, Fiona goes on Twitter again. Being a hot girl, she has a lot of followers. She tweets a request for roommates, which, being Degrassi, will probably attract a rapist.
It seems that Fiona has replaced her addiction to alcohol with an addiction to Twitter. “Some dude in Wyoming sent me a picture of foot massager,” Fiona tells Imogen like that is not creepy at all. Imogen notices that Fiona has the location tag turned out. That’s a thing where Twitter tells everyone where you are when you post. Yup, this is going to be one of those lesson episodes!
That night, Fiona gets home from work. She sees a window broken. Suddenly, a masked robber grabs her from behind. He has a gun! He tells her not to get up until she counts to 30. He needs to use her bathroom before he runs away.
The next thing we see is Fiona talking to a Mountie. Fiona says she never saw the robber’s face. The Mountie asked if anyone knew Fiona would be out. Fiona says she didn’t tell anyone…except all those people following her on Twitter. The Mountie leaves and then Imogen comes over. Fiona realizes her laptop was stolen, which she did notice this until after the Mountie left. Fiona freaks out because she needs to tweet about having been robbed.
In French class, the students must read an essay in French about what they would do if they could go back in time. Tori says she would go back to the day before Cam killed himself. She cries and her gay comforts her.
“Are you kidding me?” Zig mutters. This leads to an argument between, Tori, Tristan and Zig over the time Zig kissed Cam’s girlfriend, Maya. Maya is in this class as well. Le Madame has to listen to this bullshit high school drama and then brings Zig up to read his essay. Zig says, “I’d go back to before this dumb assignment ever existed.” And walks out of class. That was not in French!
In the parking lot the next day, some new boy is hanging with Zig. Zig says he can’t go back to French class and hear about Cam, because it sounds even more painful in that gobbledygook language. Zig empties a trashcan over Le Madame’s car. The new boy stops him from breaking a window, but Le Madame still catches them and yells in French.
Zig and the new boy have to pick up trash along the parking lot while Le Madame watches. She has the other boy dismissed and talks to Zig. “That’s not the Zig I know,” Le Madame says of his recent behavior. I suppose she expects that of the other boy, though. He’s a little bastard. Zig admits that he is upset because of Cam.
“I told Cam to go away,” Zig says. “And he did—forever. I was the last person to talk to him.” Le Madame says if it was not Zig, someone else would have been the last person to speak to Cam.
Zig: But it wasn’t someone else.
Le Madame: That sucks.
Le Madame tells him that Cam’s suicide was no one’s fault but Cam’s. She then asks him to help set up for a French club event. I don’t know, the tone of this makes me suspect there is going to be a student-teacher romance. The event is going to be in her bedroom. “Oh dear, no one but you, Monsieur Zig, has shown up for this event. No matter, now we can make this a much more intimate occasion. I will pour us some wine. There is nothing more French than wine, no?”
Dallas likes Alli, but has not formally asked her out. That is not unusual for a Millennial. We don’t tend to ask someone we like on a date. You could get turned down and that would be embarrassing! Instead, we do is what Dallas is doing. He hangs out with Alli for several months just as friends until he is absolutely certain she would be willing to touch his penis.
Owen wants Dallas to get his penis touched soon, so tells Dallas to be Alli’s science partner. Dallas asks as her to come over to work on their science project, but neither classifies this as a true date. “You guys are so going to make out,” Owen giddily tells Dallas. And Owen will be in the bushes outside watching through binoculars.
Dallas and Alli are in Drew and Adam’s house, which is where Dallas lives. Their non-date is interrupted when a girl named Vanessa walks in. She is Dallas’s ex-girlfriend and says he cancelled on a date. Doesn’t Dallas from a town far away from here? Did Vanessa follow him to Toronto? How far back was this date? Things are kind of explained when a little black boy appears.
Dallas had a child with Vanessa when he was 15, and sees him every other weekend. Yeah, that’s unbelievable. I mean, a black dad who is involved in his kid’s life? I don’t believe it. Vanessa has moved to Toronto, so now is going to be more a part of Dallas’s life. And the Degrassi writers remember things that happened now, so Vanessa will probably appear in more than just this episode.
Dallas has yet to tell Alli this. Alli thinks Dallas just has a crazy ex, so tells him she just wants to be friends. She’s seen Waiting to Exhale. She knows how physco a scorned sister can be. Alli tells Dallas about her pregnancy scare with Mini-Connor and how relived she is to not be a parent as a teenager. Now Dallas can’t tell her about his kid! That’s like when I am with a group of people and making fun of Jews. Occasionally, one person will pipe in that they are Jewish. Awkward! Usually, I just casually mention that I saw some loose change by the sidewalk and then lock the door behind them after they run outside to collect it. Problem solved.
Anyway, Dallas surprises Alli by lighting up the room with Christmas lights. Grand romantic gesture! Dallas says they shall have their first official date soon and will save their first kiss for then. Dallas is going to make Alli wait to get to first base with him.
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