Season 13 Episode 10
Airdate: October 10, 2013
Tickets are on sale for Degrassi’s second dance of the year soon (I think it’s still the first week of school). The cost is $40. For real. How do the poor kids afford all the dances Degrassi puts on?
Zoe never went to a dance because she was a child actor, but she played a character who was prom queen. This will be her first real dance at a real school and she is not sure what to do. Miles approaches her with Maya and Tristan behind him and makes fun of Zoe for not having a boyfriend. God damn it, Miles, let it go. Guys don’t make fun of girls for shit like that. Girls do. That makes you a girl. Miles wasn’t even in a relationship with her long enough to be this bitter. You two were together for three days and all you did was make out on a bunk bed. Zoe shoots back that Drew is her date for the dance. This impresses the girls behind Zoe, whoever they are. Drew has a big fanbase among 9th grade girls. Maya and Tristan inform Zoe that Drew has a girlfriend in college, Bianca, much to Zoe’s surprise. Bianca shouldn’t come back, though, especially for a dance. The fact that she has a boyfriend in high school is something she probably hides from her new friends at college.
Alli, Clare and Jenna are doing an experiment in chemistry class, but not talking. Jenna does not approve of Pepe, the boy who hit Alli in Paris and then came to Canada to be with her. Clare tries to mend things by telling Alli to bring him to the dance so they can get to know him. Alli doesn’t think Pepe will enjoy a North American dance because we don’t play enough terrible techo-rap.
Simpson checks up on Drew to make sure he is following the Student Handbook while preparing for the dance. Drew is like, “Handbook? Yes, that is something I have certainly heard of.” Simpson reminds him to hire two Mounties for security and go through the lunch ladies for food because of unions. Damn lunch lady union. The lunch ladies hold the balance of power in Degrassi. Such is Shelia’s legacy.
Zoe goes to Drew to discuss him taking her to the dance. Drew doesn’t know what she is talking about. Zoe reminds him that he calls her at night and they have sexy phone conversations. Drew doesn’t remember that and says his sleeping pills made him do odd things. But his doctor took him off those so he won’t call her again and also will not go to the dance with her. Zoe says she already told her friends (loosely defined as she doesn’t have any) he would. “Sucks to be you,” Drew says and takes off with his posse of 9th grade girls. Yes, Drew commands a posse of freshmen girls. I guess he really does have a big fanbase among 9th grade girls. He had to blow Zoe off like that so they will think he is cool.
It’s 3am at the Torres house. Drew is still awake and he and Dallas chill in wife beaters again. If they don’t start having sex I’m going to be pissed off. Drew is overwhelmed with all the work he has to do for the dance. But he has no more sleeping pills so can’t get sleep and do impulsive things like sex with Dallas. 🙁 Normally Dallas should be on top, as the black man, but he has a disgusting puberty mustache, so loses that privilege.
Back to school. Remember how Zig disappeared for several episodes? Well, it appears Zig joined a gang or something during that time because he is hanging with some ruffians who all wear black and gray. But they don’t have on any makeup, so they can’t be goth. Zoe introduces herself and says she understands he is the “kind of guy” she “can ‘get’ things from”. Zig says he can, “lots of things.” And then the boys behind him laugh. Huh? Zoe opens her wallet. She’s got a lot of Loonies stuffed in there. I hope the writers realized how ridiculous this was going to be when they were typing it. I know I’m expecting a lot from the writers, thinking they could be aware of anything, but still…
Zoe then goes to Drew and offers him sleeping pills on the condition he be her date for the dance. Drew needs the pills, so agrees. Zoe promises him “the best sleep of your life”. That’s an unusual thing for a teenage girl to promise a teenage boy.
That night, Drew takes the pills. Is addiction to sleeping pills a real thing? Even so, Degrassi has run out of drugs to do episodes about (they jumped the shark at a coma from pot brownies). Next season, Jenna is going to get addicted to that Russian drug that contains flesh eating bacteria. I wish they would do something with bath salts, so I can know what exactly they are. Yes, I need Degrassi to educate me about drugs. I remember when bath salts were in the news after someone high on them ate a dude’s face (of course it happened in Florida). I was confused and like, “Wait, you can get high on the stuff they sell at Bath & Body Works?”
Anyway, we then go to the Hawaiian Beach Bash, which the school has damn near every year. I remember it back with the first season kids. This is like if American schools had Montreal parties every year.
There is no music because Drew didn’t set up the DJ equipment. Dallas has to mess around and figure out where all the cords connect to (these days, can’t you just hook an iPod to a speaker?). Dallas oddly asks Becky for help. Becky says that down in Florida she was known as DJ Shake & Bakes. Dallas is like, ‘Are you serious?’ and Becky replies, “No silly. Music’s the devil’s noise.” Dallas is like, ‘OK are you serious now?’ Becky rolls her eyes and walks away, saying, “People never get my jokes.” That is because you are girl and not funny. DJ Shake & Bakes. That is something a girl with no sense of humor would think is funny.
Pepe comes to the dance, dressed in a suit that would be fashionable for America in the1980s or France today. Pepe recognizes Dallas from the picture in Alli’s phone. Luckily, Alli intervenes before Pepe slapped Dallas in the face with a glove and challenged him to a duel.
Drew is home asleep. Zoe arrives all dressed up and pissed. She wakes him up, but Drew is still groggy from the pills and wants to go back to bed. Zoe is determined to carry Drew to the dance if she has to. She already told everyone Drew was going with her and you know how catty girls like Miles will be if she shows up alone.
Back at the dance, Clare, Jenna, Connor, Pepe and Alli sit along the wall. Pepe finds the North American custom of not dancing at a dance confusing and tries to talk to Connor. “I’m not supposed to be warm to you.” says Connor. Pepe is puzzled. “Don’t lose your temper,” sneers Jenna.
OK, so now Pepe has to prove himself to Alli’s friends and he will ON THE DANCE FLOOR. He wows Clare and Jenna by dancing with them. American girls are easy.
Zoe brings the zonked out Drew to the dance. She sees Maya and Miles flirting. Miles stands against the wall while Maya leans over him with her arm while hitting on him. Are the writers making Miles the chick on purpose?
Anyway, Zoe makes sure Miles and Maya can see her dance with Drew. Drew doesn’t know what is what and freaks when he sees Zoe morph into Clare. OMG! Zoe is a Changeling!
“Your boyfriend doesn’t even know your name,” Miles says to Zoe as he tosses his hair back and struts away.”
“Guys you got to see this, Drew’s getting naked!”
Everyone watches Drew, who is down to his boxers (which Connor considers naked) and freaking out because he thinks a canvas painting of beach means he is really at the beach. He then cannonballs into a kiddie pool. The shock sends him back to reality and he runs away in embarrassment.
This incident causes Maya to feel sorry for Zoe and wanting to make peace. “I’m not out to get you,” Maya tells Zoe. “But Miles is and he’s a catty bitch.”
The final scene has Clare finding Drew in the student council room, resting on the couch.
Clare: What are you on?
Drew: A couch.
Drew says he is on sleeping pills. Clare calls him a pussy. Drew says that “moral compass” That’s because Adam was small enough that Drew could place his little brother on his shoulder whenever he needed someone to tell him to do good.
Drew falls asleep on top of Clare. There is no waking him so, Clare better find a way to occupy herself for the next 26 hours. When I was really bored at that age, I would write episodes of Seinfeld in my mind which usually involved Kramer being hilariously racist. Man, I was ahead of my time there.