Season 13 Episode 11
Airdate: October 17, 2013
You Only Live Once, that’s the rally cry of today’s youth.”
Clare is excited about her meeting with the editor of Moose magazine today. Hopefully, this editor won’t try to rubber her duckie, if you get my meaning! Clare wants to pitch a story about how the financial crisis is affecting young people. She rattles off a stat to her fellow student council members that youth unemployment in Greece is at 64%. She stumbled trying to recall the name of Greece, but that’s understandable as it’s been 3000 years since that country has done anything worth remembering. Really, Greece is just a retarded version of Italy. But Greece is in really bad shape right now. Their economy has collapsed and mostly has to rely on the remittance payments John Stamos sends to his grandfather.
Later, Drew and Clare are doing work in the student council office. A boy and a girl alone in the same room, just being friends? It will only be a few more episodes of this before they are a couple.
Clare pitches her idea to the editor of Moose, who hilariously is a lady. The editor passes on the youth unemployment story. Young people don’t read print, so fuck ‘em. The editor asks what other ideas Clare has. Clare has none, but makes one up on the fly about Zoe Rivas, the child actress who is having a hard time fitting in at Degrassi. The editor is intrigued and wants to make it their next feature. She asks Clare to submit a draft by tonight.
OK, so Clare has a story. She just needs Zoe to agree to it and also meet Zoe. Zoe says yes because her Jew agent told her to accept all the publicity she can. Zoe has been making a lot of sex tapes.
Clare follows Zoe around a party at Miles’s fat palatial estate. Zoe puts up a front of being popular and well liked at school, but Clare is skeptical. However, Zoe has a group of girls hanging off her every word. Any girl who has a bunch of other girls listening to her bullshit must be pretty popular.
Then, Clare goes to Winston, who informs her that the events Zoe described to make herself sound cool did not happen. For instance, Zoe told Clare that she was the one who broke up with Miles, but Winston tells Clare it was the other way around. “He couldn’t handle her diva-licious behavior,” states Winston, who then asks Clare out.
That night, Clare video chats with Eli, who is attending NYU. Clare wants to get into Columbia so they can be in the same city, but her chances are slim if she doesn’t have something published. Man, she should try for NYU; they took Eli so they can’t be that picky. Eli tries to cheer her up, but has to leave because the girls in his dorm want to play Naked Robber (Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry’s favorite party game) with him. Normally you don’t play Naked Robber with mixed genders, but college is a time to experiment.
Clare gets typing.
The next day, Clare shows Alli the finished article and Alli pretends she can read. Because Zoe told her lies, sweet little lies, Clare had to write something other than what Zoe told her. But in doing so, Clare wrote a sack full of lies herself—a sad sack of lies. A sack full of the weight of deceit Clare will have to carry on her back forever and ever if she turns it in. Clare is conflicted. On one hand, her article is not true. On the other hand, she needs this to get into her dream college. If the reputation of Moose magazine has to be tarnished, so be it!
By the way, Clare is having a hard time remembering things. Clare has Alzheimer’s. It’s a relevant plot to today’s teens.
Miles and Tristan try out for the basketball team. Armstrong oversees this and it is nice to see that he is still around. I was pretty sure that Dallas took over his job. Miles wants to make the starting line, which is a long shot since he is a sophomore. But his father demands it. “You have a good chance,” Mile’s dad told him. “We sent you to a school with hardly any black kids.” Miles invites Tristan to come to his house for a game of Naked Robber. Tristan is happy to have a new friend.
At the party, Miles learns he made the team but not as a starter. Those slots only went to seniors. Why are sophomores and seniors on the same team? Do Canadian schools not have junior varsity? Miles’s dad will be pissed. He is already under a ton of stress because he fighting to hold onto his position as mayor after he was videotaped smoking crack.
Miles wants to take steroids to be a better ballplayer. Tristan gets him some, saying he got them from Owen, his jock older brother. OK then.
Imogen wants to launch a Degrassi TV channel. Drew gives his ascent as president and they hold auditions for an anchorman. They test several candidates, but none of them are any good. “I’m never going to find an anchor,” pouts Imogen, and then Becky arrives. Becky does well, but Imogen feels awkward around Becky. Becky doesn’t know that Imogen and Adam had an affair, or would have if Adam had any parts. Imogen uses the excuse that Becky is no good because she was “too perky.” Drew knows enough about girls to know that means Imogen has boob envy towards Becky. Drew still thinks Becky is the best choice, but Imogen overrules him since she is the president of Degrassi TV, a club she founded just this morning and is the only member.
However, Winston sucks ass on camera. He has to interview Drew and asks if Drew thinks he is hot. Oh Winston!