Degrassi Celebrates 300 Crappy Episodes, Also Season 12 Promotional Pictures

The Degrassi team recently celebrated an important milestone in Canadian history: their 300th episode. The government of Canada honored this occasion with a cake. It was crafted during a special episode of the TLC series Cake Wars and  presented to the producers by Minister of Culture and Fur Trading, Ben Mulroney. This is seriously a big deal in Canada.

But 300 episodes isn’t really worth celebrating when they make around 70 a year. It feels like Degrassi’s 200th episode was only, like, a year and a half ago.

And it was. I found some website called Boycott the Caf (an extensive Degrassi informationatorium you should check out someday) and it lists the the 200th episode as “Try Honestly” (Part 2) which aired on August 8, 2010. So yeah, not even two years ago. At least Ellen waits until she in the thousands before she starts celebrating milestones.

So the cheering is kind of stupid. But stupid is Degrassi. Here is a tweet from one of the Degrassi “writers”:

I suppose Degrassi is kind of like The Simpsons in that they both should have been cancelled years ago. He must mean in primetime, because even if you ignore long running news shows and only include scripted fare, SNL has produced more than 700 episodes in almost 40 years.

Well, I’m going to stop complaining and let them have their party. They work on Degrassi for fuck sakes, those poor souls need something–anything–to ward off the feeling of being dead inside. Seriously, if Dante was around today, it would be one of his circles of Hell. It would be the punishment for those who committed the sin of being a hack in their life. The sinner would be forced to spend eternity locked in the writers’ room of a Canadian high school soap opera. Under a flickering florescent light, and breathing stale air, you’d sit in an uncomfortable office chair that squeaks and tilts to one side. All you have to drink is stale coffee. You would have to churn out script after endless script, which would never let up because the episode order just increases every year. You’d have no time for expressing original ideas, because there would be none at all left. Instead, you’d have to rehash the same episode ideas and story arcs every year, deciding year after year who was going to get shot and where,  and how to do another blowjob during the dance.

Any time you were not writing scripts would not be a moment to rest, nay, for you would be forced to plan for the next season. You’d be scouring baby name books for one you haven’t used yet and trying to figure out a way to create the troubled goth character with attitude you haven’t done infinite times already. But it would be futile. “Oh God, oh God, OK how about his name is Victor–no wait, we had a Victor in season 453,667. OK, his name is Victorio and his parents are very strict because they are immigrants from…oh God what is country we haven’t done?…ahh…Siberia. When will this suffering end?”  And worst of all, the show can never be cancelled, because IT’S GOVERNMENT FUNDED! AHHHHH!!!

Promo Pics for the New Season

Anyway, the 30th season is starting soon, so VH-1 Canada (Degrassi’s Canadian network) released the following promotional pictures: