Degrassi Junior High: 111 “It’s Late”

Spike’s period is late, which means she had sex, which is awesome!

Season 1 Episode 11
Original Airdate: March 29, 1987

Buckle in, folks. This is the episode you’ve all been waiting for. “It’s Late” was the first episode of Degrassi I ever saw, and it was shown to us in 7th grade health class on a 35mm projector. I’m not even that old, my school was just really shitty and poor. It was like, 2002. Anyway, this is probably the most iconic episode of Degrassi Junior High because it deals with some touchy subjects like TEEN SEX! Hell yeah!

This spectacular episode begins at a party at Lucy’s place. Lucy is a wealthy orphan so her penthouse apartment is always available for teenagers to get drunk and have sex in. Or if you’re the Black Chick Who Always Leaves Class First, you’re diving head first into an enormous bowl of Cheetos. That’s my kinda party, baby. Spike and Shane are furiously making out while Erica is dancing with Wai-Lee and the rest of the kids are eating junk food. Spike and Shane sneak off to one of 18 luxuriously decorated guest rooms and lock the door. Heather, Erica, Joey, and Wheels bang on the door but Spike and Shane are so savagely boning that they don’t notice.

 

Spike is late to school (because It’s Late is the episode title) and her mom scolds her for being a big baby. Then Mr. Raditch scolds her for being late to class which puts her in a doubly sour mood. Shane keeps trying to suggestively wink at Spike but she’s ultra grouchy at this point and merely growls at him.

 

Look, see — this chick always leaves class first when the bell rings. I didn’t just pull that nickname out of thin air. I have several blog posts on this fine website to back me up. Speaking of which, Johnny and Billie, I hope you are backing this shit up because I delete all traces of Degrassi from my computer once I’m done with these things because I don’t want anyone knowing I watch this garbage.

 

The Degrassi art department had enough money to rent musical instruments for just one day, so basically everyone has one as a prop in this episode and then you never see an instrument ever again. In the B-Plot, Melanie is reading up on horoscopes or something, and declares to Kathleen that she wants to obtain a hickey, because it is the grown-up thing to do. She says hi to Snake and it’s obvious she wants Snake to stick his tongue down her throat but she’s too shy to ask him out. Yick wants to ask Melanie on a date, though, so he asks the worst possible person for advice: Arthur. His reasoning is that because he lives with the sluttiest woman this side of Saskatchewan (Stephanie), he knows how to talk to women.

 

Joey and Wheels nag Shane about what happened behind the closed door at Lucy’s party, but Shane won’t admit he put his all-beef frank in Spike’s hot dog bun. Then they argue over this and comb their hair. In the girls’ room, Spike stares melancholically into the mirror. Turns out she’s acting like a grumpy bitch because her period is a week late. The Farrell twins come in the bathroom and Heather gives Spike some PSA spiel about how having a late period can be normal for a teenager, and so on. Then Erica drops this awesome truth bomb:

“Everyone knows you can’t get pregnant your first time” – Erica Farrell, sex expert

 

Spike goes to her mom’s salon after school and cries in the stockroom. Wait a second, Spike’s mom is a hairdresser?! Someone explain to me, then, why she doesn’t fix THAT GOD DAMN RAT’S NEST ON SPIKE’S HEAD

 

Arthur’s been teaching Yick some pick up lines and they are so freaking bad I don’t want to talk about them. But here goes. Yick tries his line out on Snake: “Your eyes are so blue they remind me of swimming pools.” Obviously Snake is perturbed at this but Yick decides to give it a shot with Melanie. He delivers the line but messes up the last part so it sounds like “pimming swools” and the girls laugh at how stupid he is. Serves him right for letting Arthur feed him pickup tips. That soggy buttwipe doesn’t look like he could pick up anything heavier than a bag of Doritos.

 

The Farrell twins suggest that Spike should buy a pregnancy test to make sure she’s not pregnant, even though she’s definitely not pregnant, because everyone knows you can’t get pregnant the first time you do it. Later, Shane corners Spike in the hallway to ask why she’s being such a curmudgeon and she asks him, “remember the party?” Then Shane is all “hell yeah, I got mad snatch at that party!” but Spike describes her predicament in the weirdest way possible: “I think I’m gonna have a baby.”

 

Ugh, Voula is showing off pictures of her stupid baby niece or some crap but just looking at her poofy hair makes me want to slam my head into a brick wall. Joey and Wheels are still arguing over whether Shane got laid or not when he polls them on their opinion of paternal responsibility. This gives them reason to believe that Shane is bluffing and that he asked the question just because he wants them to believe he had sex, because they are morons.

 

Arthur’s terrible pick-up tips, part two: Yick shoves a vase of carnations directly into Melanie’s mouth and she goes into an allergic fit.

 

Heather and Erica go with Spike to buy a pregnancy test, because girls are incapable of doing basic tasks like going to the bathroom by themselves. Spike tries to hide the pharmacy bag from her mom, but since she’s 14 and being 14 is like having a mental disability, she throws it at her mom’s head.

 

Turns out that Spike’s mom had her when she was 17 so Spike is fucking things up even worse. But she’s nice and understanding and has a sweet red Volvo so she takes Spike to the clinic to get a pregnancy test.

 

Yick finally kicks Arthur’s ass to the curb and asks Melanie on a date straight up. Then they go ice skating WEEEEEEEEEE! Oh, and it turns out Spike is pregnant. Shane showed up to the clinic though so I guess he figured out he should support his baby mama. We’ll see about that.

 

AWKWARD FREEZE FRAME

Spike is doomed every way you look at it. She’s a dumb 14-year-old and her boyfriend is an even dumber 14-year-old. Shane equates abortion with murder because he is fascist scum and the actress that plays Spike is so bad at fake-crying that she just looks like she’s reeling from smelling someone’s fart.

Anyway this episode is a boring C-grade episode except for the part where Spike and Shane bone. That part was awesome. Despite the idiotic B-plot with Arthur and Yick, “It’s Late” won an International Emmy (it’s like the real Emmys except instead of trophies they hand out Tootsie Rolls and it takes place in a high school auditorium). That series of events inspired the name for Spike’s baby. Oops, I guess I spoiled that plot. Whatever, this TV show aired 30 years ago, so you can shove it.

What I learned from this episode: You definitely can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex, no sirree.