Degrassi Junior High: 210 “Censored”

This episode title was so hot, they had to censor it. Meanwhile, Caitlin writes an article about Spike’s unborn child, while the rest of the 8th graders share softcore pornography.

Season 2 Episode 10
Original Airdate: March 7, 1988

Well, well well. It looks like we have yet another instance of Caitlin Le Fou. Remember when she tried to help Kathleen deal with her alcoholic mother, but ended up making it worse? And remember when she protested for animal rights and then realized her epilepsy medication was tested on animals? Remember when she dumped Claude, and he died? And remember that time in The Next Generation when she encouraged Emma to meet up with the boy she liked, and he turned out to be a pedophile? And remember when Caitlin bought Joey’s house thinking she was doing him a favor, and the emasculation made Joey incredibly upset? And remember that time when she __________? Seriously, you can fill in the blank with any of her plot lines, and it screwed somebody over. But there is a bright side: the satisfaction one gets while seeing Caitlin being called out for her uncalled for “activism.”

Wow, Caitlin, that spray-painted red hair is pretty far-out. Why don’t you just go ahead and commit, like these two loonies? Or toonies, as one might say in Canada?

This episode’s title was so h0t, they had to censor it.

Nancy “Editor-in-Beef” Kramer reminds Caitlin and Susie of the upcoming deadline for the Degrassi Digest. Nancy doesn’t care what they write, as long as it’s 200 words. A result of this dumb rule was evident when the Degrassi Digest started showcasing articles such as, “How to Catch an STD in Three Easy Steps” by Stephanie Kaye, “Joey’s Guide to Lysdexia” and Nancy’s “40 Ways to Eat Lard.” Then peanut butter manufacturer Skippy started running full-page ads on every page, and finally Mr. Raditch stepped in as faculty sponsor.

Caitlin overhears Spike talking about how the Degrassi parents want to kick her out of school for being pregnant. This gets her journalism gears going. But first, she has to wash out her red hairspray before her mom finds out. Which is even lamer than Stephanie’s daily bathroom ritual of changing into a “lady of the evening.”

Joey, Snake, and Wheels share babelicious pics during locker break, which is pretty on par with what actual 8th grade boys would do during locker break. This second screenshot has a definite likeness to a womb. Joey and Snake are peering into a magical, sensual hole. The only thing is, how did they get a camera in there?

L.D. is enraged by the boys’ naive mysogyny. She demands the sexy pinups be taken down, and threatens to involve Principal Lawrence. Alexa, however, becomes aroused while looking at the pictures, and begins rubbing herself. “Look how big they are!” she exclaims. (Editor’s note: This is the actual quote, in the actual context.)

GUESS WHOSE FAT HAND IS IN THE JELLY BEANS.

NO SURPRISE THERE.

Nancy and her crack team of journalists (Trish, Tim, and Small Muslim Girl) are composing the contents of this week’s Degrassi Digest when Caitlin boldly announces her idea for an article protesting the PTA’s decision to kick Spike out of Degrassi. Nancy says, “Who the hell cares, Caitlin? Nobody even reads this paper. Just make sure it’s 200 words, or I will literally eat you.”

Then Trish informs Nancy, “I’m going to write an article about the cutest boys of Degrassi.” “Pretty short article,” she retorts.

You’re one to talk, Nancy. First of all, there’s Rick, and then there’s, uh… well there’s…

There’s uh…

Uh… Well, there’s Rick, and…

OK, fine, Nancy, you win this time. But at least I don’t look like Rosie O’Donnell.

Alexa and L.D. are kept waiting by Doris, Mr. Lawrence’s mistress, who is re-applying her lipstick after “talking” to Mr. Lawrence in his office. She refuses to let the girls see Mr. Lawrence because she wants him all to herself. Ooh! Censored!

After school, the Zits rate the girls in their class. Sort of like what I did, but on a scale of 1-10. The boys throw out numbers like 3, 3.5 and 4 before Alexa asks, “Me or L.D?” Then L.D. grabs Alexa’s boob and they start making out. Psyche, that part was censored too.

Sweet! A classic Macintosh! And Macwrite! That’s what we had at my middle school! Unfortunately, I was in middle school in the 2000s when Macintoshes, Mac II’s, Power Macs, and even iMacs were outdated. My teachers still used laser discs and film projectors instead of VCRs. Technology is just too swift for Tennesseeans, I guess. In fact, I first saw Degrassi on a film projector in my health class, in 2002.

Oh yeah, and look at that terribel article. What is “ro” supposed too be?! Only morons woudl make typos liket hat.

In the name of “revenge,” L.D. and Alexa post pictures of hot male bodybuilders in their locker. This proves ineffectual to Joey and the gang. Because, really, who would be threatened by a bunch of big, gay, sweaty dudes?

After the boys leave, Alexa stays at the locker to gawk. I’m not really sure what educational issue this is supposed to address.

Long story short, Caitlin gets in trouble for writing a story about something that is none of her business. And Joey gets in trouble for having pornographic images in his locker. Both are being CENSORED! Hell yeah, EPISODE TITLE!

However, when Doris makes L.D. take her porno down, Doris gets flustered and fogs up her glasses. “We better take these to Mr. Lawrence’s office right away,” she says.

And as they say, what happens in the principal’s office, stays in the principal’s office.

Why would you pay 15 cents for a Degrassi Digest? I mean, in 1988, couldn’t fifteen cents buy, like, a model train set or a computer or something?

While Caitlin reads her stupid article about Spike in a ghost-like voiceover, Spike and Shane psychically plot their revenge in their respective bathrooms.

Here’s how I would’ve handled Spike’s confrontation of Caitlin, if I were a Degrassi writer:

“Hey BITCH, I saw that article you wrote about me.”
“Well I–”
“I didn’t like it very much. My life is none of your damn business. And your hair isn’t even cool, it’s just lame. YOU’RE lame.”
“I just wanted people to know the truth and–”
“YOU DON’T KNOW ME!”
(Shane appears from behind the stairs and stabs Caitlin through the heart).

The next day, Joey’s Sunshine Girls are such a hot item that he begins peddling them in the schoolyard. I guess censorship isn’t big in Canada, or Mr. Lawrence didn’t really care that Joey had pictures of naked ladies in his locker. During the commercial break, he probably said something like, “Kids, I gotta confiscate these. You know, ‘cuz of the rules, and stuff. I better take these back to my office,” and then shut the door and didn’t admit anyone in for the rest of the day.

Caitlin and Susie discuss the idea of writing an article on sexism, by interviewing both Joey and L.D. to see both sides of the issue. I guess you could say Caitlin learned from her mistake, but she awkwardly proves she hasn’t, as she does the same thing several more times. And here, the damage done is irreversible, as Spike shoots her a death glare. Good job, Caitlin. You’ve alienated Spike and made her a public issue concerning the entire student body. You made sure everyone knew she was pregnant, and even blamed Shane for creating their “mistake.” Worst journalist ever.

AWKWARD FREEZE FRAME

Seriously, Caitlin is the worst character on the show. Like, worse than Nancy, at this point. At least Nancy keeps to her own sty.

Overall, “Censored” is a pretty sweet ep. Caitlin gets put in her place by Spike. Just seeing Caitlin with tear-filled eyes in detention brightened my day. And seeing all those h0t pictures made it even better. I bet Mr. Lawrence and Doris had a lot of fun afterwards, pinning up the confiscated pictures in the masturbatorium principal’s office.