Degrassi Junior High: 211 “Trust Me”

The Zits get in trouble for borrowing Snake’s parents’ car. This wacky, light-hearted adventure is almost too dull to bear. Stop reading now, for your own good.

Season 2 Episode 11
Original Airdate: March 14, 1988

This episode is so boring and predictable, I can barely write captions for these screenshots. In fact, I can summarize the episode in just 10 words: The Zits borrow the Simpsons’ car and get in trouble. Lucky for you, now you don’t have to read the rest of this long-ass review.

The Zits pool together all their money ($90 Canadian, or $9.37 USD) in order to buy a new guitar amp. Then, Snake reveals his parents are going out of town, so Joey tries to convince him to have a party. Snake doesn’t trust Joey. Also, here is Wheels’s locker, complete with a “Stephanie Kaye for President” button and a Playboy sticker, which are pretty much the same thing.

The school board wants to kick Spike out of Degrassi for being a bad influence. Getting knocked up was bad, but it was her hair that put them over the top.

Also, Heather and Erica are dressed like referees.

The Zit Remedy is practicing the only song in their repertoire, “Everybody Wants Something.” Anyone who has watched the series in it’s entirety has heard this song at least a hundred times, and each time it gets slightly more intricate but never has more than 4 lines. In “Trust Me,” the boys run through the entire song, which happens to be only 10 seconds long. A blessing in disguise, I say.

They can’t convince Snake to have a party, but they’ll at least have a secret sleepover.

Wheels and his mom duke it out in a contest to see who has the biggest glasses. Mrs. Wheeler wins the fight, but the battle is not over. Wheels has an appointment with an optometrist at noon the next day. Zing!

Joey takes the keys to Snake’s parents’ car, but Snake wusses out and won’t let him drive it. Come on, Snake. It’s totally reasonable to let a 14-year-old illegally drive your parents’ car while they are out of town. Trust me, man! Trust me! It’s the episode title!

Instead, the boys waste the night away watching violent movies and eating junk food. Wheels passes out early, foreshadowing his later problems with alcoholism.

The guys wake up the next morning on the floor in a pile of filth, kinda like in The Hangover, except this time they just got drunk off ice cream and all slept naked in the same sleeping bag. And instead of a tiger in the bathroom or one of the guys missing a tooth or whatever, Wheels just oversleeps and nearly misses his appointment with the eye doctor. It all seems tame, until…

BAM!!!!!!!

To tell the truth, the panty shot was irrelevant. But Wheels’s weird bulge certainly frightened me the first go-round. And to think, he almost went “all the way” with Stephanie Kaye. Man, the lewd stuff they show on Canadian television these days.

Oh, and Joey drives Wheels to the optometrist.

They apparently have no mishaps besides pissing off a few drivers. That is, until Snake and Joey find that a van had bumped into the car while they were inside gorging themselves on poutine. Remember how they pooled together all their money at the beginning of the episode? Well, the money must resurface once again, predictably enough, to pay Fat Martin Sheen to fix the broken tail light.

Snake returns to his house, marred by piles of melted ice cream, popcorn, and semen all crushed into the carpet. Joey and Wheels bail, and Snake takes the blame. Haha, that’s what you get for being a wuss!

Well, turns out you can’t trust Snake either. He tattles to his parents, who in turn call Wheels’s mom.The boys didn’t break the tail light after all, says Mrs. Wheeler; Mr. Simpson broke it a week earlier when he smashed into the Tim Horton’s drive-thru window after drinking too much Crown Royal.

Spike gets kicked out of school. Thank God that’s the end of that plot! I was running out of pregnancy jokes!

AWKWARD FREEZE FRAME

For losing their parents’ trust, the boys are punished. Joey is forced to give up his keyboard. Snake is grounded for life. Wheels’s mom beats the shit out of him.

Lastly, I want to apologize for this apathetic, humorless review. The content was so dry I literally had to make up parts of the plot. I know the car stealing was supposed to be light-hearted and wacky, but that’s not why anyone watches this show. It’s about the issues, man. The issues. We wanna see chicks get knocked up, pedophiles, kids taking acid, abusive boyfriends, epilepsy, and stuff like that. This is bullshit. If I rated episodes of DJH, I’d give this one a D. But only because Wheels is in it, and he’s more or less naked.