Glee: 107 “Throwdown”

Season 1 Episode 7
Airdate: October 14th, 2009

Porpoise of Life name: “The Whites vs. The Blights”
Issue of the Week: Racial tensions

Glee episode 7

Sue and Will fight in slow motion. Sue is now co-running glee club. Really, she is. That’s like putting a fox in charge of the hen house or a Catholic priest in charge of a camp for naked little boys. Trust me, that last scenario will lead to much sex of the criminal variety. Sexy crimes, oh yeah.

Will and Sue realize the way for one of them to gain control of glee club over the other adult is to curry favor with the kids.

Will asks the kids for feedback. Mercedes wants more black songs and less showtunes. It seems like the show has already been doing lots of black songs and very few showtunes. Rachel tells Mercedes that, “This is glee club, not crunk club.” Mercedes shoots backs, “Don’t make me take you to the carpet.” Yeah, that’s a lesbian pick up line if I ever heard one. The other Asian kid says something and we learn his name is Mike. Will ignores him, as always.

Glee episode 7

Quinn gets an ultrasound of her unborn baby. Finn is there, because he still thinks he is the father. Quinn asks the doctor be careful with her uniform (as it’s her only piece of clothing).

Finn talks to Will in the waiting room, because he drove the kids there. Finn worries about how he will ever take care of a baby. “This sucks,” says Finn, about being a father-to-be. “All the stress and worry but none of the control”…or sex. Puck is the really father, by the way. But Finn was dating Quinn at the time and has never actually had sex yet. It’s all so crazy!

Back at glee club, Sue divides the team in two and selects the minority kids to be part of her new group, Sue’s Kids. She calls them out with slightly racist nicknames, though she calls the Asian kid who is not Tina “Other Asian”, which is how the fans refer to him. Maybe we got that from Sue, I don’t know. I, personally, call him something far more offensive which I shall not put into print. Artie and Kurt are also in the new group. Being in a wheelchair or being gay make you a minority now.

Glee episode 7

Third plot! Jewkid likes Rachel. He informs her, “The independent polling company in my dockers says you’re the hottest girl in the school.” Jewkid has a gossip blog and will post the info about Quinn being pregnant unless Rachel provides him with a pair of her panties. Rachel wants to protect a fellow glee club member and tries to trick Jewkid by purchasing new panties at the store, but Jewfro can tell by the smell that she has not worn them. He demands to have underwear she has worn.

I wonder what kind of gossip blog this boy runs. It has to be something everyone in the school reads and he can post to. Is it that Livejournal gossip site, ONTD? Sometimes they post Degrassi information and link to Boycott the Caf. It makes no sense that anything Degrassi could warrant inclusion into a celebrity gossip site and that I apparently have the most detailed Degrassi website in existence. The whole world has lost it.

Can you just post anything you want to ONTD? Maybe Jewfro plans to post about Quinn’s pregnancy. Then he’ll get a hundred comments along the lines of ‘What the fuck is this?’ ‘This isn’t celebrity gossip’ ‘Who the hell cares about some teenager from Ohio?’ and ‘Epic Fail Noob.’ Jewfro will post a long rambling response that can be summed up as ‘No. I thought this place would understand me!’ He’ll jump from one online community to the next, never finding acceptance until he ends up as a Juggalo, a sad, sad fate.

Glee episode 7

Sue assigns Sue’s Kids a rap song. OK, it might not be rap, but I don’t recognize it and Mercedes sings it so I’ll say it’s a rap song.

Sue also had the piano taken away when Will wants to rehearse with his half of the team. Will strikes back by flunking all the cheerleaders but Quinn, Britney and Santana, who are also in glee club. Will is the Spanish teacher and I guess the entire cheer team was taking Spanish. This makes them all ineligible to be cheerleaders. Sue is so peed off!

Finn wants to name their baby Drizzle. Quinn thinks that is a ridunckulous name. I agree. That kid’s parents are going to be named Quinn and Finn. Either give the baby a normal name or call her Pinn. Note: Linn would not work. That’s having it both ways.

All of the glee kids get together to sing that one Nelly song I remember from high school. Will comes in and chases away the minorities like it’s Ohio in 1986. He has the white kids sing a Jordin Sparks song. She is an American Idol winner, so it’s appropriate music for an all white group. Finn and Rachel sing lead, which makes Quinn jealous.

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Quinn tells Rachel that Finn is her boyfriend (at least until Finn learns she is carrying another man’s baby) and Rachel should back off. Rachel is all, like, ‘you should be nice to me because glee club will be the only people left for you after you will be ostracized for being pregnant.’ Quinn expresses her feelings through “You Keep Me Hangin On” by the Supremes.

This is the dynamic Glee has in the first season. Mercedes does the black songs that require hip hoppin’ and Quinn does the black songs that require singing. Will raps, which is more disturbing than anything else.

Some more conflict happens before the glee kids come together to put a stop to this racial division. They walk out of rehearsal until Will and Sue agree to stop fighting and reunite the club. This was our generation’s Selma right here.

Glee episode 7

Will makes an appointment with the ultrasound guy. His wife, Terri, is terri-fied (haha) because she is not really pregnant. But Will doesn’t know this because Will doesn’t pay that much attention to his wife, I guess. Terri and her sister threaten the ultrasound doctor, so he swaps in a video of Quinn’s ultrasound. Will is fooled and is overjoyed to have a girl on the way. What will Terri ever do now?

Glee episode 7

Word gets out that Quinn is pregnant. Sue found some large white granny panties in Jewfro’s locker, obviously Rachel’s genuine underpants. Sue threatens to give Jewfro a sex change unless he has a good reason to have ladies underwear. And by that, I mean Sue will perform the operation herself in her office. She has some bolt cutters in her desk that will do the trick. Jewfro has to spill the beans.

The whole school knows Quinn is pregnant. I guess Jewfro posted it on his blog even though I don’t think he had to in order to please Sue. Or maybe Sue told him to. Either way, it’s his penis on the line, so better safe than sorry. Quinn cries and the glee kids come together to sing an Avril Lavinge song. I didn’t know she made any songs after “Sk8ter Boy.”

My description of this episode’s songs make me sound like I was looking for the Sean Hannity show but hit the wrong Fox channel with my remote and have been accidentally watching Glee each week ever since. I am much more up on music than that, it’s just when you put the “Thong Song” in an episode–fuck you. Avril Lavinge and I were born in the same year, so she became famous when I was in high school and she must have dropped out or something. It’s funny, because I assumed she was a lot younger than I was because the only people I knew who listened to her were younger than me. I suppose this means I thought she was 12 when he first album came out.

Grade: A

Best Musical Number:

“You Keep Me Hangin’ On” – The Supremes. Performed by Quinn

Kurt’s Best Outfit:

Glee episode 7