Glee: 118 “Laryngitis”

Season 1 Episode 18
Airdate: May 11th, 2010

Porpoise of Life name: “Rachel Loses Her Voice”
Issue of the Week: Finding Your True Self

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The whole of West McKinley High is shocked an appalled. Puck has shaved his stupid Mohawk because the doctors had to look at a mole on his head to make sure it wasn’t cancer, and it wasn’t, which still sucks for Puck because he no lonhrt has a stupid Mohawk. I think he looks better without it, but no one else does. Santana is no longer turned on by him. But that’s because Santana and Britney are basically a lesbian couple now and Santana is starting to learn she doesn’t really like boys.

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The nerds throw Puck in the dumpster because they no longer fear him. Puck needs to get back to being cool and he decides he needs to date a cheerleader to do this. He has his eye on Mercedes, because she became cool when she joined the Cheerios. Not because he actually likes her or anything.

Glee episode 118 Glee episode 118

Rachel suspects that some of the glee kids are not pulling their weight. She enlists the services of the AV club to hide microphones around the practive room to listen for who has not really been singing. The large and angry AV club president agrees to do this in exchange for boxes of Mallomars and Snickers. The writers must have hated the AV club when they were in school.

Rachel examines the audio to find that half of the club isn’t really singing. She presents her evidence to Will. He does not like that the kids have been slacking off, so assigns them to each sing a song about their own unique selves. “The glee club has lost its voice,” says Will. “It’s time for us to get it back.” THE GLEE CLUB HAS A COME DOWN WITH A CASE OF LARYNGITIS.

Rachel goes first. She tries to sing a Miley Cyrus song, but her voice keeps breaking up. I bet Miley Cyrus sounds just like that before she is autotuned. Rachel is in trouble.

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Kurt is still jealous that his father, Burt, played by the sexy man beast, MIKE O’MALLEY, is buddy-buddy with Finn and will ake him to a baseball game. “Hey Lady Face,” Sue tells him when she wants to know why Kurt wasn’t at Cheerios practice. Kurt tells her that he is having a hard time with his dad due to his sexuality. “How can you possibly know what you like?” enquires Sue when he says he has never even dated a boy or a girl, and Sue tells him that liking showtunes doesn’t make him gay, it just makes him awful.

Kurt decides to try and play straight. He shocks his father, played by the lovely flower, MIKE O’MALLEY, by dressing in flannel and a baseball cap, just like dad. You know, I grew up in the rural Midwest, this show is set in the rurual Midwest. Kurt’s new look is actually how gay men around here really dress. Now he just fits in with the other gays and can finally get a boyfriend who doesn’t think he is too poofy.

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Rachel goes to the throat doctor. Finn is also there for some reason because neither of her dads could come with her for some reason. The doctor says her tonsils are creating an inner ear infection somehow and they will have to be removed (her tonsils, not her ears). Rachel fears an operation will destroy her singing voice. She hopes to treat the infection with anti-biotics. RACHEL HAS A COME DOWN WITH A CASE OF LARYNGITIS.

Rachel worries some more, but Finn doesn’t even understand why he has to be there. Jesse is still her boyfriend, but he is away on spring break. I guess Jesse has a seperate spring break than everyone else in the school.

Finn watches the siloutte of Rachel as she undresses behind a curtain. This makes him sing “Jesse’s Girl.” Yeah, they named Rachel’s boyfriend Jesse just so Finn could sing this song down the road.

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Puck sings next, “The Lady is a Tramp” which he credits as a Sammy Davis Jr. song, even though its more well known as a Sinatra song, and they were both just covering a showtune. You see, Sammy Davis Jr. was a black Jew, as will be their love child if Mercedes lets Puck sex her up. The song wins Mercedes over. They are now an interfaith power couple.

Kurt sings “Little Pink Houses” by John Mellancamp. The rest of the club is confused, except for Britney, who wants to hook up with him now.

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Rachel is a shell of her former self. She is dishelved and eating out of her bunny bowl. She has not gotten better after three days on anitbotics and fears surgury. Finn thinks she is just whining, but Rachel cannot be herself if she is not performing. “I am like Tinkerbell, Finn,” Rachel cries. “I need applause to live!”

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Britney and Kurt make out in his bedroom. Kurt uses the oppurtunity to ask her, “What boys’ lips taste like?” Britney tells him usually dip, burgers or her armpits. Burt, played by the new Jesus, MIKE O’MALLEY, is confused.

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Now that Mercedes is with Puck, she has to deal with him constantly taslking about how Super Mario Bros changed civilization. Some girls may find that annoying, but that’s how my good friend Johnny Dangeous landed his fiance. Santana is jealous of Mercedes being with Puck. Santana didn’t care when Quinn hooked up with him and got pregnanat and moved into his house, but whatever.

Puck is happy to be back on top of the school heriarchy. Mercedes has trouble with him using his regained popularity to go back to dumping nerds in the garbage, so she quits the cheer team. Does this mean that Kurt will quit Cheerios too? I hope so. He looked good in that uniform, but it takes time away from his awesome outfits. I want to get a job on Glee dressing Kurt. “Why should be hire you for the wardrobe department?” the producers will ask. “Don’t you wear sweatpants six days a week? Then I’ll point to the window and yell “Hey look over there!” When their backs are turned–wham! Amanesia dust and I run away.

Glee episode 118

Acting straight hasn’t stopped his dad from spending time with Finn, so Kurt busts out in a Kurt song. Sometimes it is hard to tell how much of a performance is real and how much is part of the fantasy of musicals, but I totally can believe Kurt has a giant light up sign of his name stored on campus. Kurt and his dad, played by the Japanese sex robot, MIKE O’MALLEY, have a talk about he accepts his son for being gay, which they have to have every episode MIKE O’MALLEY is in. Man, Kurt is really insecure.

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Finn takes Rachel to meet a friend of his, Shawn, a football player who was paralzyed from the neck down due to a game injury. This makes Rachel realize that even if she loses a part of a body that is important to her, she will still live on. But her voice came back anyway, so…cool for her.

Rachel pays Shawn a second visit and they sing U2’s “One” together. So do the glee kids, which is good because the part where Rachel was singing with the quadrapeligic was kind of a downer.

You ask me, instead of taking Rachel to see Shawn, they should take Artie to him next time the kid complains about being in a wheelchair. Shawn will tell Artie the story about when he was given a wheelchair that he could drive by breathing into a machine, he ended up driving it into a pool. Then, they’ll discuss the best adult diapers on the market and Artie can go home and touch objects and feel good about himself.

Grade: C

Best Musical Number:

“The Lady is a Tramp” – Rodgers & Hart. Performed by Puck and Mercedes

Kurt’s Best Outfit:

Glee episode 118