Season 2 Episode 21
Airdate: June 1, 2010
Porpoise of Life name: “Funk”
Issue of the Week: Funk
The non-Rachel and Finn kids discuss the upcoming Regionals competition. It seems that they are favored to win and the Ohio Show Choir chatrooms are full of discussions about how the competing club, Vocal Adrenaline, is stale. I would think the Ohio Show Choir chatrooms would be mostly full of suicide poetry, but whatever.
To destroy our heroes’ confidence, Vocal Adrenaline sings a song in West McKinley’s auditorium. The big shocker is that Jesse has rejoined Vocal Adrenaline, but it’s been almost a year after this episode aired that I’ve gotten around to reviewing it, so I’m mostly forgotten the Jesse story arch. Blaine was an upgrade, don’t you think?
Their song is “Another One Bites the Dust” one of the rare non-crappy Queen songs. I think they should have performed “We Will Rock You” but that would inappropriate as this isn’t every hockey game ever.
The Vocal Adrenaline kids insult the auditorium as they leave, calling it small. I think it’s a big. Maybe it’s small considering that it’s used three to five times a day.
To hurt glee club further, Vocal Adrenaline t-p’ed the glee room. Sue let them in. She holds a trophy and brags about it as the glee kids are cleaning up, because this school has no janitors. Will’s balls finally drop and he smashes Sue’s trophy in anger.
Later, Will and Terri’s divorce is finalized. The lawyer comes to Will’s house with the documents, which say DIVORCE in big letters. Shouldn’t there be a seal or letterhead or something on it? I’m pretty sure something you type up in Microsoft Word isn’t a legal document. Is this guy even a lawyer? Probably not. I bet he doesn’t even have an office, that’s why they had to do this in Will’s dining room. He looks like the Asian guy from Degrassi who claimed to be a cop so he could swipe Emma’s computer.
That computer was sweet. It had a 10 GB hard drive and 200 MHz Intel inside, plus a CD burner. You could play Age of Empires II on it with no problems.
Before she leaves, Terri says that she stills sees a 16-year-old boy in Will. Will had a 5 o’clock shadow when he was 16.
Finn and Puck exact their revenge on the Vocal Adrenaline by damaging the tires on all their Land Rover, or Range Rovers. I don’t know cars. Each member of Vocal Adrenaline has their own Something Rover donated by an alumni. Who donates that much money to a high school glee club? The boys are caught and threatened with expulsion, but the Vocal Adrenaline coach offers to let it slide if they pay for the damage. Instead of putting up a screencap from any of that, I have an image of Rachel pissed off. I just like to look at it.
The assignment this week is funk music. You see, the glee club is in a funk, so they need to get funkedup. Will said that just a white as you would imagine.
After school, Will meets Sue in the glee room, where he attempts to seduce her. Man, Will is hitting that post-divorce desperation hard. Sue is doing all she can to resist punching him.
To pay for damaging all those tires, Finn and Puck get jobs at the linen store Terri works at and possibly owns. Five minutes into their first shift, they lead the whole store in singing “Loser” by Beck. But it’s actually a daydream Terri wakes Puck out of having. It’s hard to tell on this show when a musical number takes place in the real world or is a fantasy.
Maybe Glee is entirely a fantasy. The wild fantasies of an 11-year-old Rachel Berry, who was institutionalized after having a nervous breakdown following a third place finish in a Little Miss Wonderful pageant. She is confined to a straight-jacket in a rubber room and can only imagine what high school could be like, if she hadn’t fallen so hard. It explains why the show makes no sense and Rachel dresses like a little girl.
Back at glee class or practice or whatever it is when the glee club gets together, Quinn performs “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” by James Brown. She is accompanied by the pregnant teens of McKinley High. I don’t know what it says about my hometown that my high school was maybe a tenth the size of McKinley, yet had more teen pregnancies. The rest of the glee club is kind of freaked out even though this was one of the hottest scenes in the show’s history.
Afterward, Quinn has a talk with Mercedes about now she understands how Mercedes feels to be gawked at and made fun of for being fat because she is pregnant, and I guess she’s fat in her belly so it’s the same? If I were Mercedes, I would be annoyed with Quinn right now, especially because I’m sure Quinn was the one who used to make fun of her for being fat.
Will asks Sue out on a date, but then stands her up at the restaurant. Sue is furious and goes to Will’s house, where is watching TV and eating a bowl of Cheetos because he is a sad man. Will says he did this to make Sue feel as bad as she makes others feel.
The next day, Finn, Mercedes and Punk perform some Marky Mark song. I like the cheery brunette playing the keytar. She looks so happy to be playing the keytar. Will points out that even though the group was called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, the song is not a funk song. I yelled at Will to shut the fuck up because I have no idea why this song doesn’t count as funk while that James Brown song did.
Anyway, Sue has resigned as Cheerios coach. Will goes to her house and encourages her to go back to work and she does. I can’t think of anything humorous to say, but this was an important scene so I needed to write about it. Here are some pictures of food that look like Hamtaro.
Jesse asks Rachel to meet him in the parking lot. She thinks he wants to get back together with her. But then the Vocal Adrenaline kids pop out of hiding and pelt her with eggs. I want to know why they are so cruel and also why they are wearing their show costumes right now.
Rachel was traumatized by the attack. She tells the glee club she has nightmares about all the mothers of those eggs attacking her. I assume all those eggs came from one mother, but I understand her pain. The boys want to go out and kick Vocal Adrenaline’s asses but Will stops then. Rather than point out that taking Artie along will work out as well as Germany taking Italy along to conquer Europe, Will says that the glee club will have to beat their rivals on stage.
Will is home alone watching Sue win cheerleading Nationals on TV. He is about go to the kitchen to masturbate when Sue knocks. She has her giant trophy with her and threatens to leave it in Will’s house unless he kisses her. Rather than telling Sue to go away, he agrees to kiss her. However, Sue breaks it off just before their lips make contact and then makes fun of Will for wanting to kiss her. Wait…what?
Some other stuff happens. The show ends with the glee kids performing a Parliament song in front of Vocal Adrenaline. That one boy who is black, or possible Samoan, is dancing around like he’s part of this group. It’s weird to see him there when he’ll be gone next season. It’s like watching the first season of The Office where all those extra office workers are in the background but must have gotten laid off before the second season, and Kelly dressed like she was middle-aged instead of like she was 15.
Vocal Adrenaline is blown away from the performance. For some reason, funk music was their big weakness. I don’t understand why one glee club is always intimidated by another, when they can easily put on a performance just as good. Maybe they are nervous about how random the judging always is.
Best Musical Number:
“Loser” – Puck. Performed by Puck and some other people