Glee: 205 “The Rocky Horror Glee Show”

Season 2 Episode 5
Airdate: October 26, 2010

Porpoise of Life name: “Rocky Horror”
Issue of the Week: Putting on a play, Perils of

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Will is surprised to see Emma eating a sandwich with crust. She normally cuts the crust off. Her mom did it for her when she was 5 and she’s wanted it that way ever since. It seems that her new boyfriend, Jesse the dentist (played by John Stamos), is helping her become more confident. They went to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and enjoyed the audience throwing things at the screen and shouting out comments. I have never been to one of those midnight showings, but if I was there, that would piss me off. I’d be like, “Be quiet! Some of us are trying to watch a movie here!”

Emma is also excited because Jesse is going to take her trick-or-treating. Yeah, she doesn’t understand that customs are different for a person who is 30 than for a person who is 8. If those two came to my house asking for candy I would say, “F U. F U both. No candy for you!” Actually, I was giving out candy on Halloween and several adults did come to my door asking for treats, and I gave them candy. I can’t tell a person’s age that well, but I am sure most of the people who trick-or-treated on my porch had to be at least over 14. This is the last year I am handing out candy in my horrid neighborhood.

Will feels threatened by Jesse and doesn’t want to lose Emma, even though he already did back when she started dating Jesse. Will’s plan to win Emma back is to have the glee club perform Rocky Horror. I would like it if Will maybe would put the interests of the glee kids first, and stop using the glee club as a tool to get with women. His plan is not going to work, anyway. Emma is with Jesse and that is they way it will be. It’s like Jesse says, “You can’t go wrong with a Greek man’s dong.” I think that was a line from Full House.

Emma warns Will that putting on Rocky Horror in the school will be difficult because it has some “risque material.” I don’t think anything in Rocky Horror is more risque than what Glee normally does or did two episodes back. I don’t remember the movie all that well, but I am pretty sure no one in it was naked and masturbating in a school.

Will does not want to give up his goal of getting into Emma’s pencil skirt, so he tells her Rocky Horror is his “favorite musical of all time.” Wrong. Glee needs to do a Blues Brothers tribute episode. That is the greatest musical of all time.

The glee kids are excited but not sure that they will be allowed to perform it. Kurt tells them that a school in Texas couldn’t even do Rent. That is because Rent blows. I quote what Johnny wrote about that movie in 2006:

I saw RENT a few weeks back. I have to say it wasn’t too bad of a movie. All musicals have that inherent “why are singing” factor but there were some catchy tunes and the one guy reminded me of Jared Leto. What bugged me was how ungrateful those people were. The one guy let’s them live in the building for free and then they get pissed when he wants to use the land he owns. That part of town should have been torn down, if the movie is accurate then something like four out of five people there have aids. That’s not cool. That’s much higher then the national average. Then the guy gives in and tells them they can live there for free forever, and they are still pissed at him. God damn ungrateful artsy Generation Xers. There so artsy and full of angst. They keep bitching about being poor but do they get a job? Of course not. They’re all to worried about their artistic integrity. Well newsflash guys, mopping floors doesn’t make you any less artistic. It just makes it so that you can afford toilet paper.

Rachel wants she and Finn to play Brad and Janet, the uptight couple. Artie will play the guy in the wheelchair. He isn’t happy about it, but at least he gets a speaking part in a play for once. Normally, he has to play a piece a furniture. Will wants Kurt to play the crossdressing Frank-N-Furter, but Kurt objects. Just because he wears women’s clothing in every episode is no reason to assume he’d like to wear women’s clothing on stage! The nerve of Will!

Other Asian volunteers to play Frank-N-Furter. He says he gained confidence after sing-talking on “Duets.” It’s also implied that Tina will get turned on by seeing him in a corset.

Rachel and Finn rehearse together. Finn is not familiar with the play. In fact, even considering that all these kids are into singing and performing, most of them seem to know way more about a 35-year-old movie (that isn’t Star Wars) than they should. I dunno, I think I first saw Rocky Horror on cable when I was their age, and I had no idea what was it was about the day after. The 1970s were a horrible decade for so many reasons, and most of the culture that came out of that era that is not Neil Young we should just forget about, really.

Anyway, Finn is surprised that he will have to do a scene in his underwear. Finn doesn’t want to be seen in his tighty-whities and show off his bulge. So just wear boxers like every other guy your age, Jeez. Finn is very insecure about his body. Yes, that makes no sense to me either. Rachel often feels that way as well. Too bad Finn and Rachel would be the hottest boy and girl in any high school that’s not in a TV show.

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Sue is carving a pumpkin of herself in her office, when two local TV station managers meet with her. They enjoy the angry rants she gives on their evening newscast. They were impressed by her rant decrying Halloween for the way it teaches kids to mooch off of others. Sue is a true Teabagger. I didn’t notice this on my first viewing, as he is a master of disguise, but Meat Loaf is one of the station managers. He was a cast member for the stage and movie version of Rocky Horror in the 70s. Why he didn’t sing in this episode, I don’t know. Why Glee hasn’t done a Meat Loaf tribute episode yet, I just get angry thinking about.

While we are on the subject of Meat Loaf, let’s take a moment to pay respect to the greatest album cover of all time.

Meat Loaf

Fuck yeah.

True story, I once did a short presentation about this album cover for one of my Media Immersion courses in college. And a 1.0 is still a passing grade, so I was happy.

The new station managers come from cable news. They discuss how easy it is to drum up fear and outrage and they like Sue’s style. Take that Fox News! They want to make a big deal out of the glee club’s production of Rocky Horror, and Sue is just the person to take that planned community center in Lower Manhattan and turn into into a terrorist training camp to be built atop the very site where the Twin Towers fell.

Sue hates Rocky Horror. You see, she once took her Downs infected sister to a showing and says the audience threw toast at them because they hated the retarded and didn’t want to catch Downs from her. I had to look up why what Sue said was a joke.

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At the next glee rehearsal, the girls talk about how they can’t wait to see Finn with his shirt off. The girls state that since boys objectify them all the time, getting to do the same to a boy is only fair. Except that Finn isn’t the one doing that. In fact, 99% of the harassment they get seems to come from Artie. As Santana says, “Yeah, earlier today Artie asked if he could make a gigantic omelet when I’m done with the ostrich eggs I’m smuggling in my bra.” Artie is annoying like that. He says sexist things all the time to cope with his lack of leg power, like he’s trying to compensate for the damage to his masculinity. I’ve known some disabled men who are like that, actually, which is why I like have parties upstairs.

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Finn does not want to show off his chest. He asks Twink boy for workout advice. Artie is working out too and Artie also gives him advice, which is not helpful because Artie is lifting the five pound wights only he and the girls use. You’d think someone in a wheelchair would have better arm strength, I mean it’s all you got, work on it.

I don’t know why Finn is worried about how he looks without a shirt on, he is the high school quarterback. And I don’ know why Finn is ashamed to have people see him without a shirt on, he is the high school quarterback. Maybe Jersey Shore made showing off your abs uncool. Every football player I have ever met loved taking his shirt off in front of girls. If you are a guy who can do that thing where you thrust your pecs up and down, you can make a girl orgasm from thirty feet away.

Other Asian tells Will his parents will not let him play Frank-N-Furter because they don’t want him “dressing up as a tranny.” Too bad, it would be nice to see him in that outfit combined with–wait, did they just said tranny on TV? OK, well, I guess I can give that a pass considering that it seems like only transgender people consider that word offensive and everyone else assumes it’s the just proper medical term for us. I mean, at least when that word was used on Degrassi, it was out of the mouth of bully, not a likeable protagonist with a super cool young Mr. Sulu voice. Also, the show made a big deal in the first season about not casually throwing around the word “faggot”, so you’d think they might show the same sensitivity toward other derogatory words used against LGBT people, but nope.

I’m starting to dislike this show.

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Sue catches Emma and Dr. Jesse in the LIBRARY showing each other their kinky Rocky Horror costumes. Sue is appalled and says of Emma, “People who dress like librarians? All sex addicts.” Well, the LIBRARY is a sexy place. I know of the intense urges a person feels in that wonderful room. But I agree with Sue. It is inappropriate to show off those costumes in school. On the other hand, Will does something worse here every other week.

Emma says Jesse is a big Rocky Horror fan and knows the lyrics to every single song. Big deal, so does everyone else in this school. Jesse volunteers to help the kids and wows the glee club by singing one of the songs and ends it by showing off his magnificent BULGE to the camera. You’ll have to take my word on that. The website I grabbed these screencaps from (and won’t give attribution) didn’t cap it. Assholes. It is his best singing on TV since “Forever.” Man, it would be so totally awesome if he ever sang that to Emma.

Will is miffed. He hoped to emasculate Jesse by having him play Frank-N-Furter, but Jesse says dressing up like that is OK in private (it’s implied throughout this episode he does just that during sex), but not on stage. So which Glee boy is going to dress in women’s lingerie? Who?

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Mercedes says she wants to play Frank-N-Furter. Will agrees.

*cough* Cop Out! *cough*

I can’t wait for season 3, when Glee does a Hairspray tribute and Mercedes plays Edna Turnblad. Look that reference up, kids.

Rumor has it that John Stamos was totally up for playing Frank-N-Furter, but the Fox Network nixed the idea. The executives were worried that showing someone with such pure masculinity as John Stamos in lingerie on TV would create such a shock that we would have mass riots and the collapse of the world economy. Though their news division would blame liberals for it.

John Stamos“I was supposed to be doing ‘Sweet Transvestite,’ but I think the network saw the script and was like, ‘Stamos in fish nets? It’s too soon!'” Stamos chuckles. “So they switched it up. I was bummed, because I wanted to play that part.” – from Entertainment Weekly

I don’t know if this is true or not. Far be it for me to doubt someone with hair that magnificent, but I a lot of times artists use the excuse of the network/studio/record company wouldn’t allowed it for why they didn’t do something they wouldn’t really want to do, but still sound like they were cool enough to be up for. I tend to skeptical when a performer say that, especially whenever a rock star says something how they never wanted to be famous. Of course you did, you signed to a major label. No young musician signs a major label contract unless they want to become rich and famous.

Still, it seems this episode faced a lot of edits, presumably from the network. For instance, the lyrics Mercedes sings were changed. The original line went “I’m just a sweet transvestite / From Transsexual, Transylvania” but the show changed it to “I’m just a sweet transvestite / From sensational Transylvania.” So…it’s OK to say tranny on TV, but not OK to say transsexual? Really? I would think it should be the other way around, because the first word is an insult and the second word is the correct term. What the hell kind of discussions go on between Glee‘s producers and Fox censors when transsexual can’t be uttered but this scene was fine to show? I can find at least a dozen things in every episode of Glee that are worse than using the word “transsexual.” Such as using the word “tranny.”

Does anyone else find it weird that a musical from 1975 is too controversial for network TV in 2010? This is why the best shows are all on cable now. Broadcast TV can’t even contain Conan O’Brien anymore, it’s clearly a dying medium. And I have to say, you can’t have someone sing “I’m not much of a girl” when she is fat. Then the lyric doesn’t make any sense.

At least Jesse bursts on stage in a motorcycle at the end of the song. That makes me feel MUCH better. I’m pretty sure that was taken from Full House. Remember that episode where Uncle Jesse was helping Stephanie with her school play and he rode his motorcycle on stage? And remember that episode where Uncle Jesse had to choose between his girlfriend or his motorcycle, so he stuck his penis in the exhaust pipe?

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Will still hasn’t realized that he cannot compete with Jesse. He tries to woo Emma by getting her to do a Rocky Horror song with him. It’s one where the girl takes the guys clothes off and they and Emma totally does it. Emma is way more into performing than any guidance counselor in America. Still. I like when Emma sings. She has a pretty voice. I also like that Britney and Santana are watching from the outside window. I will assume they were making out in the bushes. With a double ended vibrator. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Jesse is pissed about this. He would kill Will, but Jesse knows not to hit a girl, and every man basically is a girl when compared to John Stamos.

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Finn gets suspended for walking down the hall in his underwear. I don’t get what is wrong with that underwear. Boxers are what boys wear on TV when producers want to show them in their underwear but not reveal anything. It’s the same weird distinction we have in society where it’s inappropriate to see a woman in her bra and panties, but a bikini is A-OK. The Chinese look at us and think we are nuts. Finn did this to build confidence about his body, which is in better shape than 99.9% of all men.

TV is weird like that; even the nerdy boys are usually in incredible shape. In college, I watch the first season DVDs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Series creator Joss Whedon made a point in one of the commentary tracks that it didn’t make much sense that Xander was one of the loser kids when the actor who plays him is very buff, but that’s TV for you.

Will gets Finn out of suspension, but is warned by the principal that he is walking a fine line with the play. Hey, no one complained when he was grinding with the kids to that Britney Spears song. How is Will supposed to know where the line is in this school?

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Becky, the girl with Downs who Sue let on the cheer team, is trick-or-treating around the faculty offices. Someone needs to tell the poor girl that is not how you trick-or-treat. Also, she’s too old for it, she is in high school.

Becky informs Will that Sue has taped a rant for the news about the school putting on Rocky Horror. She is going after Will again. Sue says in her editorial, “Artist are free to push boundaries to make art but when pushing boundaries is their only aim the result is usually bad art.” I feel that way about Glee sometimes.

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Will decides to cancel the play to spare his kids the right wing harassment. He gives the news to the kids and says of Rocky Horror, “It was for outcasts, people on the fringes who had no place to left to go but were searching for some place, any place, where they felt like they belonged. Sound familiar?” Yes! It’s what Glee sets out to do but fails.

Will then has the kids put on the play, but only for themselves. You may think this is a lot of needless work when they should be rehearing the songs they will perform for competition, but honey, your argument was ignored last season. Just roll with it.

Grade: F

This episode was stupid. And if you like it, you are stupid. It would have been better if they had just done a 44 minute abridged version of the play. They could have cut most of the play’s dialogue and just showed us the musical numbers. Maybe have the pointless Will and Emma drama go on backstage. Scratch that, no. There was no need for the stories we got in this episode.

Best Musical Number:

They were all about the same. Also, I don’t know the names of any of the songs.

Kurt’s Best Outfit:

Outfit 205