Glee: 210 “A Very Glee Christmas”

Season 2 Episode 10
Airdate: December 7, 2010

Porpoise of Life name: “Christmas”
Issue of the Week: Christmas

This is the Christmas special. I know I am several months late, but it’s Goddamn March and it’s still fucking cold out. Seriously, winter sucks ass from January 2nd until the snow meltsm which is sometime in May in the UP. Christmas and New Years are the only good things about winter, after that, the only thing to look forward to is being cold and miserable.

Glee episode 210

Emma and Will discuss their Christmas plans. Will says he will spend the holiday alone. I guess his parents died over the summer. Emma takes pity on her pathetic friend and invites him to a Christmas party she and her new boyfriend will be hosting. Ouch!

There is a secret Santa program and Will has to buy a gift for Sue. What ever shall he do?

Glee episode 210

In the glee room, the kids decorate a Christmas tree and sing the misfit toys song from Rudolph. Remember the Island of Misfit Toys? What the hell was up with that doll? You know, the doll who was sad?

Why was she on the Island of Misfit Toys? Did no one want her because she is a ginger doll? Every other toy had some obvious defect: the train has square wheels, the elephant has spots, the bird can’t fly (since when can toy birds fly?), but they don’t explain why the doll is a misfit, so I can only assume it’s because she’s ginger.

Actually, the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Expanded Universe material tells us that she is a sad, sad doll. She must make any girl who owns her sad. I have a theory that the doll drives little girls to commit suicide. She just goes on and on, “I’m such a sad, sad little doll. The world is so sad. Life is sad.” Them the parents come home one day to see that their daughter has hung herself in her bedroom. And the doll will be standing there and say, “She’s not sad anymore.”

Also, the king of the Island of Misfit toys is Aslan from Narnia. It must be like how the Queen of England is also the Queen of Canada and Australia.

Anyway, Will is really impressed by the kids Christmas spirit, until he learns that the kids stole the decorations or found them in the trash. That’s the Glee I know!

Glee episode 210

Will makes the kids go caroling to classrooms to make up for it. Of course they get booed and the teacher throws a shoe at them. This is the spirit of season 1 Glee I miss.

Glee episode 210

Also, Brittany still believes in Santa Claus, so Artie makes the kids go to the mall Santa and sit on his lap. This is dumb, even for Glee.

Brittany says, “I can’t tell the difference between and elf and a sleigh.” Or did she say slave? Because slave would be funnier.

I tried to rewind the video and put on closed captioning, but I pressed the wrong button or something and switched to the Korean dub and can’t figure out how to change it back to English. So now I’m listening to the rest of this episode in Korean. This will be a fun review.

Brittany sits on Santa’s lap and points to Artie. I can’t tell what they are saying, but I bet Brittany is asking Santa to bring Artie some new legs. Everything having to do with Artie has to include him being paralyzed.

Glee episode 210

Rachel and Finn talk (about what, I don’t know. I don’t speak Korean) and then Rachel sings. In Korean, Rachel sounds like she’s singing this song:

Rachel looks longingly at Finn and Santana, even though Finn and Santana are not dating. She then looks at Sam and Quinn getting their PDA on. I guess Rachel is feeling lonely. Oh come on, Rachel, Finn doesn’t like you. So what? Just hook up with Puck then. You actually have chemistry with him.

Glee episode 210

At the school for effeminate boys, Blaine and Kurt duet. In Korean, it sounds like this song:

Glee episode 210

Will, Emma and Beiste all bring presents to Sue. Based on the imagery, it seems that she rigged Secret Santa in her favor. Oh that Sue! Arrgghhh!

Glee episode 210

Some other stuff I don’t understand happens and then Sue dresses up as the Grinch and trashes the glee room. I think she sings “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” but it sounds like they got a Korean boy band to sing in Sue’s place. It’s awkward. For some reason, Brittany stops by, even though it’s late at night. I don’t know if Brittany even has a house. Maybe she lives in the school or something.

Glee episode 210

The glee kids find the glee room trashed. Then Rachel and Finn go look at Christmas trees and Rachel sings another song. I don’t know what she’s supposed to be singing, because I’m hearing this song in its place:

Will then gives the kids a lecture. I’m glad I can’t hear it.

Glee episode 210

Coach Beiste dresses up as Santa and breaks into Brittany’s house. Brittany sits on Santa’s lap and ignores that his beard is hanging around his neck.

Somewhere on the internet, there is a lesbian porno that looks like this.

Glee episode 210

Sue celebrates with her assistant, the The Downs Girl, who sounds the same in English or Korean. But the glee kids are singing none-the-less, which warms Sue’s heart and makes her learn the true meaning of Christmas. I pieced that information together based on the video and figuring this must follow How the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Glee episode 210

Artie has some robot legs now. Oh, I guess this was his Christmas wish. This is dumb. Hey, can Artie maybe have a storyline where him being in a wheelchair isn’t the focus?

Glee episode 210

Will comes home to find Sue in his living room. Based on the look on his face, he isn’t sure if Sue is in his home to burn it down. But then Sue gives him a gift. It is an electric razor. Will still makes sure to hold it so the razor end faces Sue.

Glee episode 210

The glee kids are also there and have set up a Christmas tree. It will be great for Will until his guests all leave to spend Christmas with their families.

Grade: D

The parts in English I liked. The meanspiritedness of the first half of season 1 that first drew me into Glee returned here, after disappearing right at the moment of that dumb scene when the glee kids sang with the deaf kids. The show got too soft and cuddly until this episode finally broke it. I am not referring to when Sue dressed as the grinch and tried to steal Christmas. I am referring to when the teacher threw her shoe at the glee club. Things like that so much better than slushee attacks.

But I’m giving this episode a D because of that stupid scene where Artie has robot legs. Robot legs are supposed to be cool, but Glee fucked it up.

Best Musical Number:

“O Holy Night” – Jesus. Performed by the Glee club