Glee: 3.03 “Asian F”

Season 3 Episode 3
Airdate: October 04, 2011

Porpoise of Life name: “The One They Put Effort Into”
Issue of the Week: Following your dreams or something

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The dance class that Will forced several glee kids to take and Other Asian is overseeing is still meeting regularly. Note: Will named it “Booty Camp” because he is one of those people. I refuse to use the term.

Santana asks to rejoin glee club and is allowed back. That was quick. She was kicked out in the first episode of the season and this is the third. And Quinn rejoined in the second episode. It would be nice if when this show presents an interesting conflicts and character developments that could permanently alter the dynamic of the show, if then maybe the writers could let the situation play out for more than one or two episodes before abruptly resolving it. Because the only reason the writers brought Santana back so soon was so that she could be around to insult Mercedes, who shows up late. Mercedes slept in and was eating because she is a fat black woman and that is what they do. It’s not racist for me to say this if it happens on the show.

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Other Asian is in trouble. His dad drags him to Principal Figgins office and demands the school drug test his son daily because Other Asian got an A-. “An Asian F” as his father explains to Figgins. Figgins should have pointed out that he is Asian too.

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Rachel thinks she is guaranteed the part of Maria in the upcoming production of West Side Story. However, Mercedes also wants the role, and resents how Rachel always gets the spotlight, so she sings “Spotlight” by Jennifer Hudson. Yes, I am surprised I knew who Jennifer Hudson is, too. Now Rachel feels threatened because this is the first time Rachel has realized that someone can sing as well as her.

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Here’s the other plot of the week. Brittany has kicked off her campaign for class president. With Santana’s help, she hopes to be the first female class president McKinley has had in many a year. She is running against Kurt, so she must emphasize the fact that she is the only girl running. Kurt was already voted prom queen and I think that was because most students assume he is a girl.

Brittany rallies the ladies of McKinley with a female empowerment song into the gym. There is not much to the lyrics, it’s mostly just Brit repeatedly chanting, “Who runs the world?” to which she incorrectly answers, “Girls.” I assumed it was a Kesha song because the lyrics are simple and dumb and Brittany has so far only sung songs by women who can’t sing. But it turns out it’s a Beyonce song, which explains why I have never heard it.

I really liked it, even though I feel like a bad feminist because I kept thinking of that guy from 2 Stupid Dogs while Brittany was singing.

2 Stupid Dogs

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Poor Kurt. He came to the all-girl pep rally like he does every month, and it was surprisingly the first time in his life he has been considered a male.

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Other Asian is feeling pressure from his dad to get serious about his studies so he can get into Harvard and become a doctor like ever other Asian person ever. But Other Asian doesn’t want that. He wants to be a dancer! It’s his talent. Other Asian attempts to clear his head by working out in the school’s dance studio. (Did you ever notice that this school’s science lab is only about half the size of its dance studio?)

Hey, do you think Other Asian has ever taken his clothes off, pressed his body up against a full length mirror, and had sex with himself? Because I would if I had his body.

Other Asian imagines his father–or was it real? It’s hard to tell with his show–telling him to let his dancing dream die. But then he imagines Tina encouraging him to continue. “When I see you dance,” Tina tells him. “That’s why I fell in love with you…and broke up with Artie.”

We then go to Other Asian auditioning for a part in West Side Story (no, not Maria, silly goose!). He does good.

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Back at dance practice, Mercedes explodes with black sass at Will over his favoritism towards Rachel (who isn’t even required to take these dance lessons). Will says he does not favor Rachel and threatens to kick Mercedes out of glee club unless she takes that back. This is why we’ve never accused Will of being a good leader.

This scene shifts into (what Wikipedia tells me) is a scene from Dreamgirls. Everyone gangs up on Mercedes and sing-talks to her about what a lazy, moody bitch she has been. Even though she’s only been in a bad mood this one episode.

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Other Asian is back at the dance studio. His mother appears. I think she is real this time. Or she could be another hallucination. Maybe it’s a ghost. Maybe his mother is dead. Maybe Other Asian is dancing because he needs to be in peak physical condition when he travels to China to track down the man who killed his mother and avenge her death. I am only saying this because I assume most Asian people have lives that play out like video games.

Anyway, his mother or her ghost encourages Other Asian to stick to dancing. She then reveals that her lifelong dream was to become a dancer, but couldn’t because her parents binded her feet too tightly.

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Artie, Bieste and Emma, who will be selecting the cast of West Side Story, cannot decide whether Rachel or Mercedes would be the better Maria. They ask to the girls to come back to sing one more song. Emma tells them the song is, “‘Out There on my Own’ from the musical FAME.” But I heard “from the musical Babe” and thought Babe? The pig movie? That was a musical? As you can tell, I don’t pay close attention to anything that happens on this show.

After the two girls have sung again, the three judges still can’t make up their minds, so they to split the role. Each girl will play Maria for one week. Rachel is for this, but Mercedes is all hell no and quits the play, ceding Rachel the part.

In my notes right here I wrote “Minkus.” I think I was going to make a Boy Meets World reference about how that the role of Maria has been given to Minkus, and we just didn’t see him all this time because he has classes on the other side of the school. But I couldn’t figure out how to make the joke work. I just wanted to give you a look at how I brainstorm.

In other news, Rachel put her name on the ballot for class president, despite the fact that everyone in this school hates her. Kurt is verklempt because Rachel was the only girl in his corner. Already nervous over Brittany’s competition, Kurt tells Rachel he is the one who should be class president, as he will be able to help all the kids in McKinley who are like him (there’s more than one kid like Kurt in this school?).

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There is one more plot before we are done with this episode. Will has yet to be introduced to Emma’s parents, so he takes the initiative and arranges to have them over for dinner, but without telling Emma. Emma comes home and is surprised to see the table set and her parents as guests. I wonder where Emma was. She and Will work at the same place–a school–so they should arrive home at the same time. Emma doesn’t have any friends, and if anything, Will should be the one to come home later because he has glee club, which may or may not occur during school hours.

Emma has to admit to Will why she has been keeping her parents from him. Her parents are Ginger Supremacists. See, they both have redhair, want to be in the company of other redheads and want redhaired grandchildren. However, they are open to accepting Will because they think he may have the redhair gene buried inside in him due to his German heritage. Also because of his freakishly pale skin.

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It’s here that we learn where Emma’s OCD came from. Her parents taught her than non-Gingers were dirty and that she needed to clean anything that they touched, which grew into Emma’s need to clean everything including plants.

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Emma was making progress with her OCD, but her parents showing up is causing her to slip back into the stress. She prays and Will comforts her while singing lead on the song that concludes the episode.

While the song is going, the cast list for West Side Story is posted. Of course, the glee kids got all the parts. They still act all surprised and overjoyed even though no one outside of glee club tried out.

Mercedes jumps ship to the rival glee club that Shelby was paid to set up for that Sugar girl. The way this season has been going, Mercedes will return to New Directions in the first ten minutes of the next episode.

Grade: A

The first good episode of the season. You can tell that a lot of hard work went into it, by the actors, writers, dance and recording studio people, and the rest of the crew. The jokes were good, music videos were some of the best Glee has had, and there was next to no Blaine. Still, I’d rather have a whole season of B grade episodes than one great episode for every two duds. It doesn’t reflect well on the show if the only way to bring the audience a good episode is to focus all their energy on that one and phone in a bunch of others.

Has anyone seen New Girl? It’s a new sitcom starring Zooey Deschanel and it’s really funny and airs right after Glee but has been way better so far. It’s even been beating Glee in the ratings, and deservedly so. I’ve been keeping track of which show is better week-by-week, and this is what my chart looks like:

Best Musical Number:

The one Mercedes did toward the beginning. I just now forgot the name of it. Actually, scratch that (by running you finger nail across the appropriate part of your screen). I liked Brittany’s Girl Power Beyonce song better.

Kurt’s Best Outfit:

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