Season 4 Episode 3
Airdate: September 27, 2012
Blaine says that last year the seniors got to be the ones who shined but this year will be his turn, even though he got an awful lot of attention over the past two years, way more than any of the seniors who weren’t white, for instance. Blaine has a large ego. Blaine sings “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” which is way too awesome a song for him. Puck should have popped up to sing it and then not be seen in the rest of the episode. Blaine also misses Kurt. Their long distance relationship is hard and they spend a lot of time on Skype where they “hate watch Treme together”. That is a meta-joke as the producers know that a lot of people hate watch Glee, so are acknowledging that most of the people who watch Glee don’t actually enjoy it anymore. Blaine signs up to run for class president.
We then go to Kurt’s interview for an internship at Vogue.com. The editor is Isabelle Wright, played by Sarah Jessica Parker. I pray she doesn’t attempt to sing. Kurt says his only experience in fashion writing is blogging about Project Runway, but he is hired because Isabelle likes the photos all the gay clothing he has worn over the years and says New York is for dreamers. And also, fashion isn’t a real business anyway so who gives a fuck who is hired for what? I wish Kurt had gotten an internship at Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s billion dollar fashion company that totally exists. When I first heard about it, I read they were selling a $17000 purse made out of raccoon hides. So I assumed it was some dumb hobby they had because they are rich and bored and wanted to do something kind of creative, but the acting thing as adults didn’t work out after New York Minute bombed, so they were making handbags. But it’s a legitimate business because wealthy people are totally eager to buy their stuff, making their company worth a billion dollars! Michelle Tanner(s) owns a billion dollar company. That’s so banana butts!
Anyway, Brittany is going to run for a second term as class president and recruits Artie to be her VP. She thinks being in a wheelchair makes him a robot, but that’s OK.
Did you know Franklin Roosevelt is part robot too and he’s on Mount Rushmore?
Artie agrees because he’ll get to be around Brittany, who is a step up from the Japanese Real Doll in his bedroom.
By bridging the student/robot divide we’ll ensure that both students and vending machines will be voting for us.
The glee club has to compete in some glee function like Regionals or Sectionals or Participals soon, but Will has no ideas for what kind of songs they will sing. Sue tells him it is because he accomplished his goal of getting the kids a Nationals win, and since glee club was a proxy for Will to relive his lost youth, his mission in life is complete and now he can settle into the drudgery of being a teacher and go on to become alcoholic or obese or a pregnant Hispanic mother. All three of which will ensure he gets really fat.
Sam is disappointed that Brit didn’t ask him to be her running mate since they are now friends. Maybe Brittany is his only friend. Sam mostly hung out with Finn last year. So Brit takes him to Blaine and tells Blaine to make Sam his VP candidate. Blaine does since it will help him with two of Ohio’s biggest demographics: people who are poor and people who are not gay.
Kurt serves coffee during a Vogue staff meeting. Isabelle tells her employees that she wants to do leather and has them toss out ideas. Then, Isabelle takes Kurt to her office to ask what he thinks. Kurt says leather is a bad idea, and if a gay guy says it that’s the final word. Isabelle feels like a total is a wreck with no good ideas and worries she will lose her job. Kurt tells her that she deserves to be here and everything will be OK. This is why Kurt was hired. Isabelle wanted a gay who could tell her she is awesome when she feels down. Isabelle’s dream is to somehow shrink Kurt down small enough so she can carry him around in her purse and take him out whenever she needs some words of encouragement.
Brit, Artie, Blaine and Sam have to prepare for the debates.
Filipino. They are very hard workers and family is very important to them.
Brittany and Sam dislike how Artie and Blaine are trying to change them (by trying to get them take this election seriously) so sing “Celebrity Skin” by Hole. I wonder how drunk they had to get Courtney Love before she signed off on this? HAHAHAHAHA!!! It will be a miracle if Francis Bean ends up a functioning adult.
As coach of the champion team, Will gets to be a part of and host the show choir rules committee meeting (he chose the teachers lounge at the meeting place). The coach from deaf choir in season 1 is here and well as Kirk from Gilmore Girls. Will wonders if there is something wrong with him because he is bored sitting in a committee meeting. Will needs to start reading Dilbert so he learns it’s a universal experience. The deaf school guy announces that his glee club has lost its funding as high school arts are being cut across America, which is putting thousands of weird art teachers out of a job. Everyone agrees that the way to save the arts is to get an ally on a blue ribbon government panel that is looking into arts in schools. Or maybe have a friend in Congress. Burt was elected to the House on preserving arts in school, but we’re supposed to mostly that happened. Will thinks he could get a spot on that panel being the National championship coach.
Rachel feels bad because some girls in class were making fun of her dance wear. She wants a new wardrobe but is too much of a stingy Jew poor to afford it. So Kurt takes her to the Vogue offices at midnight where he thinks it’s OK to steal from work. Using his security clearance, he opens the Vogue Vault, which is like the Disney Vault but with fewer frozen heads and unsold Blu-ray copies of The Black Cauldron.
Isabelle arrives with security. But she is cool with them being here when she learns they are here for a makeover. Again, it’s fashion, so it’s all fucking around all day. My worst fears come to fruition when Parker attempts to sing. Did anyone else clutch a crucifix as this was happening? At least Kurt joins in so there can be some semblance of a melody as Rachel models different gowns. Of course, the original problem was that she needs something to wear in dance class.
Time for the class presidential debates. Sue moderates. The VPs go first and as Artie speaks a beat starts playing, so I thought he would bust out into a song, but there was no song. Sam has to answer a question about being a former stripper. He responds by ripping off his shirt to the beat from “Sexy and I Know It”, but instead of performing the song, we jump to the Blaine and Brittany debate. Blaine says Brit was an awful president last year who banned the use of hair gel. Ah ha, so now we know the true reason Blaine entered the race. He got his precious feelings hurt at prom. Blaine says that if Brit can ban hair gel, soon she’ll be burning books and then burning people. This is a slippery slope argument and I hate slippery slope arguments. If you start using slippery slope arguments, there is no telling what asinine arguments you’ll move on to.
Brit tells the audience, “I love you.” And she loves everyone and the school so much that she promises to end summer vacation and weekends so they can all be together more. Artie knows that Brit just lost the election because the kids will be worried she can make that happen. TV shows always treat the position of class president as 1000x more powerful than it really is.
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