Jane by Design: 1.02 “The Runway”

Season 1 Episode 2
Airdate: January 10, 2012

Jane has to wake up at 6:30 in the morning. She retrieves some pants from her closet and sets about snipping and sewing them. Why’d she need to get up early to alter a pair of pants? They aren’t even a project for work. They are just the pants she wore to school.

As is her new routine, Jane leaves school at lunch for a busy day at work. As soon as she steps into her boss’s office, the two-way video comes on. Does her boss know as soon as someone enters the room? Is there a motion sensor that turns on the monitor? If so, how many times does someone accidentally trip it off when they enter her office and the boss will start speaking as if Jane is there?

The fashion business is hosting a fashion show this Saturday. But, as Jane’s boss will not be back from the Congo in time, Jane will have to take care of things. The problem is, this conflicts with a school formal on Saturday. Jane will have to be in two places at once!

Jane is feeling overwhelmed trying to create a bunch of outfits in time for the show, so India tells her it would be wise to play it safe with her designs. Of course, Jane takes the advice of the woman she knows is trying to sabotage her and her boss.

Billy, Jane’s BFF, is a caddy at the local country club. Lulu, the girl he is having a secret romance with, is there with her dad, the judge. The judge does not like Billy, because Billy’s older brother, Billy-Bob, was in his courtroom a lot and got in trouble for drugs.

Jeremy the Brit sees Jane doodling dresses in a notebook. “Is that what you want,” he asks, “to be a designer?” Of course, that’s why she took this job in the first place. Jeremy the Brit was just trying to flirt with Jane, but Jane plays it cold because he saw her with India in the previous episode. Jane doesn’t want India’s sloppy seconds.

India tries to seduce Jeremy the Brit. I wonder what kind of pick up lines an Indian woman would use on a British man.

“Oh baby, I want you to colonize every inch of me.”

“Come here so I can show you the jewels of my Raj.”

“Fuck me so hard I partition.”

Jane shows her designs to her boss, who doesn’t like them, saying they are too safe. Oh no, that’s what India said to do! Then, because the ABC Family audience is assumed to be retarded, India walks by and gives Jane an evil grin to remind us that India set Jane up to fail. Jane begs for one more chance to get it right, and the boss grants it before going to dinner with David Lee Roth. Give Jane a break already, she was up at 6;30 in the morning to alter some pants.

Back at the country club, Lulu and Billy share a secret kiss in the cart garage. But Nick, a boy from school (who is a member, not an employee) sees them. At school, he talks about this with Billy and says, “I don’t get it. A guy like you with a girl like her.” I don’t get it either. I assumed Billy would be into dudes. Jane doesn’t like Lulu either. Back in elementary school, Lulu invited Jane to a slumber party, but gave her the wrong address. It didn’t end with Jane being rape and murdered by a pedophile, so Lulu’s plan didn’t work. Billy tells Lulu to leave Jane alone.

Lulu is more worried about Nick. “Nobody can know about this,” Lulu says, “—ever.” “There’s nothing left to tell,” replies Billy. “It’s over.” Oh no, the longest relationship of this two episode old series is over!

Looks like it’s time for a rock music transition over to Jane! Jane is still working on her dresses for the show. Jeremy the Brit helps her out and then comes on to her. But Jane says she saw him with India. “India and I are absolutely 100% over,” says Brit. “We could have something special.” Until he learns she is in high school.

Jane wakes late this morning, so she doesn’t have time to alter any pants! Jane’s first paycheck arrived in the mail, which gets delivered before 9am in this town. It is for $1000.15 after taxes. Also, the name that it’s signed by is Mark Richardson. Unless that’s the name of Jane’s boss, we now know that she is not the head of this company.

Billy enters the house and Jane jumps him shouting, “We are rich!” For a boy who is straight, Jane sure does jump on top of him a lot.

In class, Jane looks longingly at Nick. That’s the female gaze and indicates that Jane is thinking about his semen, buckets and buckets of his semen. Nick likes Jane too, but is too clueless to take her staring at him all the time means she likes him too. He has to talk to Billy to know he should ask her to the winter formal.

Jane accepts, but OMG! It’s the same time as the fashion show.  Jane will have to be in two places at once! This is going to be almost as hard as waking up at 6:30 to alter pants!

Jane wants to wear her mom’s old dress to the formal. She alters it with a black fitness belt. It’s not as cool as altering a pair of pants, that’s worth getting up an hour early for. Billy is there to give his opinion, like all straight platonic male friends do.

Billy takes her to the dance, but Jane dances with Nick. We learn that in seventh grade they did Seven Minutes in Heave at a party, but Nick had forgotten that was her. Yeah, um, no he wouldn’t. No seventh grade boy would.

Jane excuses herself to the girls’ room, where a totally straight Billy is waiting in a stall to help her switch into a black outfit so Jane can check on the fashion show and then rush back to the formal and change back into her pink dress. Nick just thinks she was in the bathroom a very long time. Luckily, girls spend a lot of time in the ladies’ room for reasons other than pooping, so that helps Jane look good. That’s her routine tonight: dance, work, dance, work. But the last time she goes into the girls’ room, she is so frantic that she goes to work in her pink formal dress! I haven’t seen mayhem like this since Mrs. Doubtfire!

Jane doesn’t realize she is wearing the wrong dress until her coworkers point it out. They like it, so Jane says she designed it. Just then, someone comes by with a model whose outfit is torn. “We are one dress short!” says Jeremy the Brit. “We cannot send this line out incomplete!” Man, I have no idea where this episode is going!

The next thing we see is that model walking out in Jane’s dress. Oh, I thought we’d see Jane on the runway. I guess I didn’t see where this was going. You know, it’s not often in my long career of writing up bad television that I am humbled.

Back at the dance, Nick leaves after waiting and waiting for Jane to show. You know, she could have told him that her internship requited her to work on the fashion show tonight. Everyone knows she is working for a fashion house, they just assume it’s an internship and not posing as an adult for better pay. The show also doesn’t need the whole “pretending to be an adult to her coworkers.” They could do the same show with her doing the actual internship and avoid the semi-pedophilish angle of the British guy courting her.

Jane’s boss is here in person finally and pays Jane a long awaited compliment. She must be a total bitch, it took her two episodes to give praise to the new employee. I do like the actress because she plays it like the boss drinks all the time. The boss even calls her Jane for the first time. She has been calling her Janet up until now.

Jane arrives dance, but it’s all over. Nick is gone and so is everyone else.

But she sees Billy across the street. He waited for her with the car. He is the best straight gal pal ever!

Grade: C-