Jane by Design Shortcaps: 1.06-1.10 “The Image Issue”, “The Teen Model”, “The Wedding Gown”, “The Getaway” & “The End of the Line”

Jane by Design sucks, but that never stopped me from reviewing a show before.

“The Image Issue”

Season 1 Episode 6
Airdate: February 7, 2012

“The next big thing in fashion will be inspired by Candyland.”

OK, Jane wasn’t in Paris long, because she and Gray are back in America. India gives a PowerPoint presentation to the important employees and Jane about attracting the lucrative 18 and under market. They’ve only ever done “barely legal” before. That was a disaster. India thinks the next big thing will be Neo-African designs. Africans prints are around half the clothes in JCPennys right now, so India is probably right. But Jane snorts.

Gray asks her to speak up, so Jane gives a spiel to the room that begins with, “I just don’t think real teenagers jump on trends like that.” And ends with, “I don’t think they want to feel that trends somebody else decided define them.” No, they do. Teenagers really do what to jump on trends somebody else decided on. I know teenagers like to think otherwise, and this is why we do not give them the power to vote.

Meanwhile, Billy is caddy for Lulu’s dad, the judge who thinks Billy is bad news. The judge won’t take Billy’s advice on which golfing-stick to swing, because he thinks Billy is dressed like a punk. “The way you look sends a message,” the judge says. “I see kids with that look of yours in my courtroom every day.” What look? Billy is wearing a polo shirt and khakis. Maybe Lulu’s dad is a judge in a court that tries white-collar fraud committed by minors.

Gray summons Jane and India to her office. Because Jane is “just out of school” she wants her to report in what teens are like, fashion wise. And have it due by Friday. How is she ever going to write a report on teenagers in that short a time?

Rita the guidance counselor won’t let Jane interview students for her project, saying that last time that someone did that it ended up on Youtube. That Goddamn Fred kid was a student here. Being featured in one of those juvenile sped-up videos really tarnished the school.

Out of nowhere, electric guitars start rocking. Billy does a slow walk down the hall as the ladies make way. They are all wowed by his new look. Over and over, girls keep saying he looks like a new person. There’s not that big of a difference. He patted down his hair. This is why we can’t have a woman president. Vladimir Putin is too good looking.

Ben came through for Jane. There is a line of kids willing to take part in her video report because Ben let them out of gym class. Jane takes her findings to work. Her conclusion is that teens want to “be themselves”. Gray turns this into a new idea for a fashion line: “Wear Who You Are”. The one thing I like about Jane by Design is when they point out that the fashion industry is just making up bullshit as they go along.

India thinks something is fishy, so goes through Jane’s video that night. She recognizes Billy because she was drunkenly hitting on him at a party.

India goes to Jane’s school. She speaks with the Rita, who thinks India is checking in on her internship. Of course, Rita never lets it slip that Jane is a student, and India never slips that Jane is an adult, so Jane’s ruse is kept alive through happenstance.

India walks around the halls looking for Billy and gets the attention of several horny boys. She is wearing an eye-catching black dress that apparently has a fin.

Billy spots India before she sees him, and he grabs Jane and they run around the school to stay out of India’s way. They should hide in a boys’ bathroom stall. Right when I said it, that is what they did! Now I think maybe I watch so much TV that I can physically change what happens on screen. Nick opens the stall and sees them together, which makes Jane and Billy make them look weird, but he really shouldn’t be opening stalls in the first place. Nick is the weird one.

Anyway, Billy’s new preppy look saves him, because no one will agree with India that he is the same person in the photo.

Looks like Jane is in the clear. Except, as India and Jeremy are leaving, they see Jane give a presentation to a class on Pearl Harbor. India bursts into the room, but Jane is able to turn it around to say that FDR loved fashion or something. Jane is safe.

In conclusion, Lulu’s dad likes Billy now. Some other stuff happens and then Nick kisses Jane. “For the record,” Nick says, “I like weird.” Except when you say that in regards to a relationship, it sounds liked he wants to Jane to come over later and get together later with a midget in S&M gear and a goat.

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