Mailbag November 2011

Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2011

From: Denon W

Subject: gremlins

Heyy.

I still can’t believe you stopped reviewing degrassi. Can’t you just review this season and then quit? It’s actually a lot different than the last 5 seasons, because it actually has quality writing and interesting storylines. I think you will really like it.

Now, I know you’ve heard this from loads of people, but you should think about reviewing Skins. I fucking love that show and I know you would too if you gave it a chance. It really isn’t like degrassi. Degrassi sucks a bucket of dicks, but thats why I love it.

I think your next project should be to do more Movie reviews. I really want you to do one on Gremlins! They’re my favoritee. I think Gremlins 2: The New Batch would work better for a review though, because it’s so awesome.

From what I can tell our focus seems to be shifting from Degrassi to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Friendship is Magic despite having a target audience of 6 year old girls has deeper characters and better written stories then any season of Degrassi.

 

Date: Fri, 02 Sep 2011

From: Katie H

Subject: I’m sorry

🙁 I was the one that sent you the angry email a while ago, yelling at you to stop with the Facebook profiles and write mire reviews. I felt bad about being mean and saw that you had answered it. I’m really sorry about being so mean 🙁 I really love btc and read it all the time. I was just in a bad mood and really missed the articles and reviews.

Its all cool baby girl, we know ya didn’t mean it.

 

Date: Tue, 6 Sep 2011

From: Cedrick R

Subject: Really Dumbbaby?

Degrassi season 11…really writers you had the perfect chance to maybe bring Degrassi up a little (which isn’t saying much at all) but still they dropped the ball I spent the whole summer waiting for someone to kick the bucket and they let me down.

Y’all haven’t done Degrassi take Manhattan yet,I know y’all have been busy but that’s Spinner’s big send off i mean come on.

Originally we were planning of doing Degrassi Takes Manhattan as a team effort when Billie came to visit me. In between visiting historic forts and going to trivia night at Applebee’s we never got around to it.

 

Date: Fri, 09 Sep 2011

From: godinkara

Subject: Penis

I was on your website and thinking about how I’ve been reading it since I was in my freshmen year of college. I now feel like the oldest saggiest balls there ever were seeing as though that was 7 years ago. Your article about Pop Tarts giving you a boner was classic, after it I’ve never been the same.  Anyways, Boycott the Caf gives me sometime to do when the boys at the group home I’m working at are being boring and watching football so thanks I guess. Also I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s been leaving the poop stains in the toilet whenever I take a dump.
Sincerely,
Kara

How would there be any mystery if you were the one leaving poop stains? Don’t you look in the toilet before and after pooping? You should be able to tell if the poop stain free toilet is stained after you poop.

 

Date: Fri, 9 Sep 2011

From: cali f

Subject: Sometimes I just want to jerk off in a bottle of tanning oil while listening to Stephen Foster.

Hey!

I’ve been a fan of your site for quite a long time! I was just wondering if you were aware that Rocko’s Modern Life is now being played on The ’90s Are All That, a new block on TeenNick. From what I’ve heard, they’re also going to be playing The Adventures of Pete & Pete.

When I first heard of this, I thought of one of your articles, where you claimed that if YOU were the chairman of TeenNick, that you’d play both those shows and Hamtaro. Unfortunately, they have not showed Hamtaro yet, and I’m not sure they’d even show it on that block, but… two out of three isn’t bad, ¿verdad?

Thank you for being considerate enough to view this letter!

Platonic Love,
Angela Bailey Carson Dana Eliza Faye Gertrude Haylee Ingrid Jamie Kaylee Lauren Mandy Norene Ophelia Patricia Queenie Rain Sasha Tanya Ursula Vivian Wendy Xantara Yolanda Zelda Johnson

(yes, that is my real name.)

:’3

I had heard about “The 90s are All That” and fully support it even if Space Cases is getting an unjustified snub. I haven’t seen the block myself since I opted for Netflix instead of cable, but hopefully Pete and Pete’s high ratings lead to the show being brought back starring an adult Pete who must take care of his younger brother Pete who determined to be schizophrenic

 

Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2011

From: Joshua E

Subject: [No Subject]

I found your article dated back in 04 about the former MMPR rangers. I think it needs updates.

Jason David Frank – When not training for UFC, he’s off skydiving or spending time with his family and fans. You can find out what he’s up to on his facebook fan page, his only official page out there.

Amy Jo Johnson – Still appearing in multiple TV shows.

Walter Jones – Still doing television, produces as well.

Austin St. John – Now frankly the rumors were true. He did gay porn under a stage name. Now he’s a big time abuser for steriods and makes gay porn as well.

David Yost – In an official interview, he stated that after power rangers he went through a lot of therapy because of how saban treated him for being in the closet. He eventually made it out and is producing and directing.

Thuy Trang – She’s still dead…. poor trini.

As furthering research showed Austin St John has been sent to be selling time shares and possibly in a defunct hip hop rock band. It has also been claimed he is much slimmer then the steroid using Brock people claimed to be him. Chances are this mystery will never truly be solved. The truth is out there, but only Austin St John’s bum hole has the answers.

 

Date: Sat, 24 Sep 2011

From: Hayley M

Subject: re: no season 11 reviews

This makes me sad. You could have had so much fun being sarcastic about the amount of gang violence and pervviness in the first 4 episodes of the season, which, is all I’ve seen yet. I am truly going to miss reading your reviews–you guys rock, even if you ARE a little over the top, sometimes.

Don’t feel too bad. We review other things and they are almost as funny as our Degrassi reviews

 

Date: Sun, 2 Oct 2011

From: Schquille B

Subject: [No Subject]

Yeah I wanted to ask you how little you guys sold out for and what it feels like to have no soul and a black heart? Oh, and when will Ellen write an article for your very gay website?

If you find somebody willing to give us money let them know we will sell out for very little

 

Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2011

From: Shamus

Subject: Watership down

Is Johnny going to do more watership down reviews

Yes, yes he is.

 

Date: Sun, 23 Oct 2011

From: derpp0nie

Subject: reveiws

WHEN WILL U REVEIW THE NEW DEGRASSI EPISODES?
please stop reveiwing shitty shows like icarly or the kardashians
& why are some episodes not reviwed or finished [like degrasi takes manhattan]

But ICarly is way better then Degrassi. Remember that time her brother did something wacky and then ICarly did a web show? That is my favorite episode.

Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2011

From: Natalie F

Subject: Degrassi Truths #18.

Your site has always had a ton of unsavory racist (and sexist and plenty of other types of offensive) material mixed in with the humor, but none has ever bothered me as much as one of the Chante macros in Degrassi Truths #18. I’m talking about the one that says “Oh Dear…Chante is going to be one of THOSE woman at college”, presumably meaning she’s going to be militant or something because she’s wearing her hair in an afro. It just really sucks that you’d perpetuate that stupid stereotype. So, is she supposed to go to extraordinary lengths not to wear her hair the way it naturally grows from her scalp (and instead deal with daily straightening, chemical relaxers, weaves, or whatever other time-consuming hairstyle you’d deem better) just so that assholes like you don’t make assumptions about her personality based on something as trivial as hair?

I don’t expect you to fully grasp just how fundamentally fucked-up the mentality you’re promoting with that macro is, but I needed to comment on it anyway because it’s truly disgusting. And if you think I’m overreacting, consider how you’d feel if you had to spend ridiculous amounts of time and money “correcting” an aspect of yourself that should be a non-issue just so you don’t get harassed, judged, passed over for jobs and promotions, ostracized and so on. It should not be considered radical for her to get to wear her hair the way it really is, I assume you have the privilege of doing that every day and can’t fathom what it’s like to be actively expected to do otherwise.

I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you have an afro.

 

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