Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: 1.06 “Food Fight”

Season 1 Episode 6
Airdate: September 4, 1993

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So, the Power Rangers are overseeing an international food fair to raise money to build a children’s playground. It’s the not Power Rangers per say, but the teenagers with attitude who are the faces behind the gay dinosaur masks. The festival is a big hit among the tucked in shirt and khaki pants set.

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It’s not really international. It looks like there are only three booths and two are for American food. One is for hamburgers and stuff and I think the other is for soul food, so of course they got the black kid running that one all by himself.

There’s also a booth that says “Asian” but that’s awfully vague. Asia is a big place and there are thousands of dishes you could serve that originate in that region, from the cuisine of Iran, India, China, Kazakhstan, Indonesia …somehow, I bet that booth just has egg rolls and sweet and sour pork and other common stuff that was really created in the United States. Man, Power Rangers, you half assed this food fest.

The high school principal is overseeing this, even though it takes place it that one gym the fat guy owns. The principal takes an interest in Kimberly. It’s kind of creepy. He tends to stand over her in this episode, but won’t pay $20 for any of the food. $20? That’s what they are charging? Who can afford that? That’s like the price you charge for a sandwich at a deli that’s really a mafia front. Angel Grove must be a rich man’s town. Now I don’t feel bad that giant monsters attack it every weekday.

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Bulk and Skull and their merry band of street toughs want to create chaos, so they start a food fight. One pie is thrown, the someone yells “Food fight!” and it all goes instantly to madness. It’s like a scene in a zombie movie where everything is calm for a moment and our heroes think they can rest then HOLY FUCK ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE RUN RUN!

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That guy really gets into it.

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Meanwhile, up in the moon, Rita is PMSing like a motherfuckering beast. She has a massive headache and keeps yelling at all the men in the room. She demands Finster create a monster that will eat all the food on Earth, because she’s feeling bloated and looking at all that food makes her feel fat.

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Rita sends down Pudgy Pig, a pig monster in a Roman solider hat, to eat all of Earth’s food. The pig starts by devouring the contents of a trash can, which was going to get thrown out anyway, so who cares if he eats that? I mean, he makes a mess, so I guess you’d care about it like you’d care if a raccoon got into your garbage. After eating garbage, Pudgy Pig ruins some teenage kids’ picnic. But they weren’t really interested in eat anyway. The guys just brought their dates there so they could talk them into giving a blowjob in the woods. That’s the disruption Pudgy Pig brings.

Good job, Rita, so far your monster is as menacing as a deer that wanders into town.

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Meanwhile, the Power Rangers are the only kids in the room not participating in the food fight, because there good kids, viewers, damn good kids. The Rangers try to stop the food fight, but they don’t really do a good job at it. Anytime they try to stop someone, they just end up wasting more food. Like, the black kid tries to get the Bulk or Skull (the fat one. ‘Prolly Bulk) to stop throwing food and charge him like a bull. This results in Bulk crashing into an entire table of food.

You what they should do to stop this? They should morph into the Power Rangers and just start punching people. That would be an awesome way to stop the food fight.

It just ends by the principal yelling. The principal is so angry about this that he takes it out on the only kids who didn’t participate in the mess and tells the Rangers to clean up. Everyone else leaves. Lousy punk kids. You’re all so jaded with your Kurt Cobain.

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Zordon summons the Rangers to the Command Center where they watch Pudgy Pig chow down at a bodega. Zordon warns them that Pudgy Pig will devour the entire world’s food supply in 48 hours. What? That can’t be right. Pudgy Pig hasn’t stopped eating since he got here, but he’s still in the same town. What does Zordon know? He’s been a floating head trapped in a tube for 10,000 years. He doesn’t have any concept of how much food there is around today. There wasn’t even agriculture when he were locked up. The world’s food supply back then probably fits into a warehouse today. Shutup, Zordon. Shut the fuck up.

And who cares if Pudgy Pig is eating all the food in that one bodega? It looks like one of those shops that makes all its money off alcohol and cigarette sales and the food is just there for show. No one in their right mind would eat any of the stale produce they’ve probably kept on display for the last ten years.

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The Rangers morph into their badass spandex to fight Pudgy Pig, who proves to be too much pig for them. Pudgy Pig draws the girls towards him and gets a pig boner from it. Pudgy Pig eats all their weapons and totally kicks their asses.

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Pudgy Pig does some sort of thing or something that causes the Rangers to de-morph and teleport to the park. Next, he attacks the food fest. All the kids that left when they heard it was time to clean up are suddenly back and are scared of the pig. I think most of those people would be just as freaked out if a normal farm pig was loose in the room. I’ve been in a situation where a pig got loose, it is a tense situation.

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The Rangers show up at the food fest just after Pudgy Pig left. They briefly worry what will become of food fest after Pudgy Pig ate all the food that was on the floor. Then Trina notices that the pig avoided all the spicy food. Billy postulates they could use this information to defeat him. Yeah, thanks Billy, we were all thinking that but you just said it out load so go ahead and take credit for it, you douche.

Hey, I wonder which country the hot hot hot food from?

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Pudgy Pig has entered a food warehouse and the Power Rangers have to act quick before the pig actually eats food a human would want. I dunno, I’d assume the warehouse would have security or they could call the police. I think the best way to stop Pudgy Pig would be with a shotgun. This is why you know Pudgy Pig hasn’t eaten any food anyone would actually want to eat. If he had gone into a Korean grocery store to wreak havoc, the immigrant clerk would have shot his ass and then advertised a special barbeque pork roast. No one cares enough about Pudgy Pig to do anything about it. The police have more important issues on their hands. The Power Rangers are just a glorified animal control department.

The Power Rangers morph again. They arm themselves with food, which they throw at Pudgy Pig. One sandwich has a spicy radish thing which causes Pudgy Pig to weaken and throw up the Rangers’ weapons. The Power Rangers jump down and grab all their weapons and they fly out of the pig’s mouth. That’s not safe at all! How about you maybe you wait for the weapons to land instead of jumping out in front of a bunch of flying knives?

The Rangers combine their weapons into a big laser gun thing and blow up Pudgy Pig with that. Man, they could have just used the laser guns they carry in those holsters with them all the time. Shoot the fuck out of the pig awhile back and save some time. I swear, I only remember them ever using those hand guns once.

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Rita is fucking pissed. She scream at the three dudes in her moon castle, who cower and just hope she’ll blow over in another day or so. God, Zordon could defeat Rita once and for all if he just sent her some Midol.

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Looks like Alpha is going to save the food fest. He cooked up a bunch of sandwiches. Yeah, how about you don’t eat the food the robot makes? He’s not even one of those Japanese butler robots. He lives with a big floating head. Alpha doesn’t understand how to make food. I don’t even want to think about how old those ingredients have to be or what even passes for a kitchen at the Command Center. Alpha probably just put bread over sticks of RAM–hearty nutritious RAM.

Back at the gym, the principal tells the Ranger kids that they still have enough money to pay for the playground equipment, so the ruined food fest won’t effect that, nor was the food fest even necessary, I suppose. The principal bites into one of Alpha’s sandwiches and proceeds to die.