Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: 1.25 “Life’s a Masquerade”

Season 1 Episode 25
Airdate: October 30, 1993

The kids are at Ernie’s youth center setting up decorations for a costume party. Bulk and Skull are there. I like how TV bullies in the ’90s often dressed like ’50s greasers. TV writers of the time must have been trying to re-create the bullies of their youth. Bulk and Skull try to help decorate, but Bulk pulls on some tassel stuff which pulls over some chairs and results in a paint bucket falling onto his head.

All the kids laugh at him, including the Rangers. That’s really mean. No wonder Bulk is a bully.

Meanwhile, on the Moon, Rita and her special needs gang watch this. Rita decides this would be a perfect time to send down a Frankenstein’s Monster monster. Note: In the novel, Frankenstein is the name of the mad scientist who brings the creature to life. The monster is never given a proper name, so is more properly referred to as Frankenstein’s monster or Frankenstein’s creature. I went several thousand dollars into debt to learn that in college, and this is the first time any of that knowledge can be put to use.

It’s almost time for the party. The Ranger kids are in there costumes. Trini, the Yellow Ranger, is dressed as an Indian. Hey, that’s offensive! Just because American Indians were Asians 20,000 years ago DOES NOT give you a pass.

Bulk and Skull are still trying out costumes. First, Skull wants to be Captain Hook and have Bulk be Peter Pan. Bulk is against it, but he could have gotten in on the Peter Pan gig before the Pixyland guy. Skull’s next pick is a two-man horse costume, but Bulk does not want to be the rear. Man, these costumes are just getting gayer and gayer. It seems that they each settle on Elvis, which really highlights the difference between young and old Elvis. Elvis had a hard fall from the top. He was the Lindsay Lohan of the ’50s through ’70s. Not that Lindsay Lohan will live that long.

We see Frankenstein’s Monster watch Bulk and Skull from outside the window. Goddamn it Rita, your monster is lost.

Party time! A whole bunch of teenagers and Ernie are enjoying the afternoon. Ernie is dressed as a vampire and tells Kim, the Pink Ranger, and Trini, “I vant to suck you blood.” Artie wants some teenage tail. You know, after this Penn State/Jerry Sandusky scandal, I think we all know the real reason Ernie set up this youth center. Why else would someone that fat own a gym?

Alpha-5, the useless robot, arrives at the party. Billy, the Blue Ranger, is like “Get the F out, indubitably.” But Alpha is able to blend in just fine what with this being a costume party. Alpha could walk around the human world freely if he wanted to. All they’d have to do is claim he’s some prototype from Japan.

Frankenstein’s Monster shows up at the party, but everyone assumes he’s Tommy, the Green Ranger. I guess because of all the grunting and lurching. No one must think much of Tommy’s intelligence.

The Monster tries to get a hold on two of the Ranger kids, but some girl grabs him and makes him dance. She is drunk. The monster throws her. Bulk and Skull try to defend her, which gets the monster angry at them. No one else is stepping up to protect the lady, certainly not the Ranger kids. The monster chases Bulk and Skull out the youth center. Billy follows them. He is the only Power Ranger who does. The Power Rangers care as much about being Power Rangers as any teenager cares about their job.

Billy follows the monster to a cave, where Rita, her goons, and some Putties are loading poop into a furnace. Rita is hoping to create an army of Su-poo Putties that will be unstoppable because no one will want to go near the smell. They are in the cave to collect all the bat guano.

Yeah, Rita’s master plan is monsters made out of poop. Working for Rita Repulsa has to be the worst job ever. You are literally stuck shoveling shit.

Rita sees Billy in the cave and tells Frank Monster to attack. Rita knows the real life identities of all the Power Rangers. Hell, she spends most of her day watching them from her Moon telescope. Yet, she never sends Goldar or someone to a Ranger’s bedroom to just stab them when they are asleep. Rita’s not that smart. Or maybe she knows Goldar would somehow fuck it up. I swear Rita’s A team would be most super villains’ E team.

The monster attacks Billy, who says, “My deductive reasoning tells me you’re not Tommy.” Oh, this is what tells you that’s not Tommy. When the monster chucked that girl across the room you still thought that was maybe something Tommy might do.

Billy morphs into Blue Ranger, but the monster still kicks his ass. The Rita creates an earthquake and flies through the sky on a big ball of poo. That’s how I’m interpreting things, shutup. She somehow scares a whole crowd of people who flee in terror.

Maybe they are worried she’ll throw poo at them.

The other Rangers teleport to the Command Center, where they are filled in on who today’s monster is. Except Tommy cannot be found. Alpha says he is not online, which probably means he turned off his communicator to have sex or something. If you don’t turn it off, then Alpha and Zordon can watch you on the Viewing Globe.

Tommy is attacked by a group of Putties. Watching this fight was funny because:

  1. You can easily see the Putties just hang back and only attack one-at-a-time, which most action TV/movies try to conceal.
  2. Tommy’s main attack is to hit the Putties with his backpack.
  3. So the Putties only start to win once one of them grabs the backpack away
  4. Then one Puttie totally kicks Tommy in the stomach.

Screecaps so do not adequately display the total scope of the madness.

Meanwhile, the non-Green Rangers fight the monster, then Rita makes it grow, then the Rangers form Megazord. But the monster kicks Megazord’s metal ass. He picks up the giant robot and throws it straight into a skyscraper. Angel Grove is taking a beating today. They have buildings destroyed in giant monster fights damn near every day. I think because this footage is originally from a Japanese show, where it’s not such a big deal. With Godzilla and whatnot, they are used to rebuilding all the time. It’s how they bounced back so soon from that tsunami.

When Megazord falls, a whole bunch of sparks fly around in the cockpit, which should have killed at least one or two Rangers. A shower of sparks spewed directly onto the Pink Ranger! Wouldn’t it be ironic if this was how the Power Rangers died: in the very giant robot they use to fight giant monsters?

Finally, Tommy gets into the game and summands Dragonzord. Millions of dollars worth of buildings could have been saved if Tommy had been online earlier. However, even with Megazord and Dragonzord together, the monster still keeps winning. This is an insanely tough monster by MMPR standards.

Finally, the Rangers form Mega-Dragonzord, which is Megazord with the Godzilla robot as its base instead of the T. Rex. Mega-Dragonzord throws an energy beam at the monster, but the monster throws it back. Finally, Mega-Dragonzord uses its Power staff to stab the monster in the abdomen.

Hey it works! Kind of a gruesome monster death, too.

Tommy gets in the witty line at the end. “That’s what I call one bad case of indigestion.” Ha! Oh Rangers you slay me!

Rita is back on the Moon, wallowing. I guess nothing came of her Su-poo Putties.

 

The costume party is back in action! “We sure sent that Frankenstein monster back to lab,” says Billy. Hey, asshole, Tommy already got the one-liner it.

The Monster is back! Oh, wait it’s only Tommy. Oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Alpha wins the costume contest and also  fetches the attention of several fine young ladies, who he then leaves with. He’ll take them to the Command Center, to try to have sex for the first time. And electrocute all three girls to death.

Questions:

Who has a costume party in the middle of the afternoon? It’s like 2pm.