Switched at Birth: 1.16 “Las Dos Fridas”

Season 1 Episode 16
Airdate: February 7, 2012

Regina calls Immigration to find out where Angelo is being held, but can’t get through the bureaucracy. They think she is trying to find her brother and don’t want to be any help. Grandma Vasquez says Angelo may have left on his own because she warned him she would call the authorities. Gammy V’s reasoning is that Regina is sleeping with him, so soon she will start drinking and then fighting and history will repeat itself.

John jokes that Angelo deported himself because Kathryn’s mother is coming to visit. Ha ha! Mother-in-laws are so awful, eh?

With that, Grandma WhateverKathryn’sMaidenNameIs arrives. She and Daphne meet for the first time.

Grandma WKMNI brings gifts. She gives Toby a poker set. Ha! For Bay, she got Madonna’s sex book. She also has something for Daphne, a piece of jewelry. It belonged to Grandma WKMNI’s grandmother, who got it from an Irish peasant in exchange for a half a turnip during the Famine. The Irish Potato Famine was tragic for the Irish, but it was pretty good times if you were English. Turns out the farmers in England grew more than one crop so they were covered when the potatoes didn’t sprout that year.

Daphne meets Monica, an old amigo from her the barrio. Daphne has grown up in the Hispanic community, so Monica is el amigo bueno to her. A bunch of girls from the barrio are using the locker room and sports facilities at Buckner. Monica says this is because of “white guilt”. Simone says her watch is missing. Monica immediately jumps on her for accusing a Hispanic girl of stealing it, even though Simone never said anything like that. So Monica starts a fight with Simone that Daphne tries to break up.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

Simone and Daphne get in trouble for someone else starting a fight. The basketball coach sentences them to four hours of community service of East Riverside. The coach says this will teach them to respect those people and not assume they are thieves. Daphne doesn’t say anything about the irony. Buckner must be facing a discrimination lawsuit from the groundskeepers union, and this is a way to build some goodwill with that community.

The two girls have to help paint over graffiti. Monica and her burritos   walk by. “You have to give back to the hood?” Monica laughs. “That’s wack.” Yes, she said “wack”. Monica is trying way too hard. She wants to fight Simone again. What is with Monica and always thinking white people are out to get her? She has some kind of persecution complex that white America* is out to get her just because she is Hispanic. It is a sociological condition I call it the Brown Stain.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

Kathryn asks her mom why she gave the family jewelry to Daphne rather than Bay. Grandma WKMNI says she no longer feels Bay is her granddaughter. “Biology tells us what we are,” Grandma WKMNI says and that she sees Bay “differently now”, more Mexicany than before. Bay overhears this.

Kathryn does not bring up the book she is writing, because her mom would not stop laughing.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

So Grandma, Kathryn, Bay and Daphne have to go to a fancy lunch. They wear hats straight out of an F. Scot Fitzgerald novel. No one else does, though. The hats must be some hipster thing only this family does. Bay walks out after Grandma talks about how dangerous Daphne’s old neighborhood must have been. It’s racist to point out that a neighborhood has a lot of crime if it does but no white people live there.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

“That Gringo is no longer my grandmother,” proclaims Bay. “I renounce the Anglo race!”

Daphne tries to join a midnight basketball game that Monica and the other b?rritas are playing. But Monica turns her away for living with white people. She says Daphne is “slumming it” by coming back here. “You can’t go home again,” Monica tells her. “Go away. ¡Ándele! ¡Ándele! ¡Arriba!

Kathryn is mad at her mom for rejecting Bay. Kathryn says that despite sharing DNA with her mom, “I couldn’t feel any less connected to you.” But Kathryn must have said that to her mom a million times when she was a teenager, so it doesn’t faze Grandma. I doubt Kathryn has matured since then, either.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

Kathryn and John talk about how white people are racist. Kathryn says that when a Hispanic crew came to paint the dining room, she locked up the silver, but not when a white electrician came over. I voted for Obama once, so I’m not racist. And that was hard. Because we all know that Palin as Vice President would have been HILARIOUS and totally worth the war with Iran then Syria then Pakistan then France that McCain had a boner for.

 

~WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO RACIST!!!~

 

That scene was stupid. Hispanics can be racist too. Look at Carlos Mencia.

So, Bay is painting a mural for the Wall of Honor (that is its real name) at Buckner. But she ruins it with white paint in a moment of hot-blooded Latin rage. Then she gets Regina to help fix it. This is to remind us that Regina likes art, too.

Daphne returns the jewelry to Grandma. Or maybe just the case. Daphne has never gotten jewelry that came in a fancy case. Maybe she thinks you are supposed to give the case back. Grandma WKMNI tries to give the jewelry to Bay, but she turns it down. Bay is starting to get in touch with her Hispanic roots, because she only wants jewelry that is three times the size and made out of plastic.

In the other grandma news, Grandma Vasquez is moving in with a friend because she and Regina are still at odds over Angelo. This works because Gammy V wasn’t even a main character and hasn’t even been in a lot of episodes. It would be better to be with people her own age, too. No one will complain when she is blasting Tito Puente music.

Also, there was also a small story about Simone wanting to change Toby’s look for music purposes, but Toby wanting to stay as the dip he is. Toby is way too stubborn about being genuine when he has no personality anyway, and Simone is way too invested in the music career Toby does not have. “I can’t dress you,” says Simone, “but can I…undress you?” Oh Simone!

Final Thoughts:

Bay has been kind of a bitch in every episode up to now, so I kind of don’t care if Grandma WKMNI is racist to her. In fact, I would think it’s pretty likely that Bay has been a bitch to her grandma many, many times before.

*the best America