The 100 Most Intense Moments of Degrassi (Honorable Mentions)

In no particular order.

Tampon Tree

4.18 “Modern Love”

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That night, Emma’s movement to liberate wymen from the chauvinistic male oppression goes into high gear. She ties a bunch of tampons around a large tree in Chester’s yard. That will teach him to have a penis.

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To top things off, Emma proceeds to plant a star thing made of tampons on top of the tree. The others girls hold the ladder for Emma but then bolt when the cops come by. Emma is busted! Chester then pops out his bedroom window to see Emma right there. Chester has no idea what is going on. Way to confuse the foreign kid Emma. He thinks it’s Christmas now. He is going to be sad if you don’t give him a present.

Cheer Team Car Wash

4.05 “Anywhere I Lay My Head”

The cheer team spent four years fundraising to get new uniforms. Their efforts culminating early in season 4, when the girls held a car wash. It was a great idea because they could get a bunch of boys to provide free labor in exchange for being around girls in swimsuits. This moment was kind of intense because it was the moment Manny wooed Spinner away from Paige.

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Now we move to the car wash. Manny get all hot for Spinner’s abs. Hell yeah.

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Meanwhile perverted old man sit around sipping drinks and watching the scantily clad high school kids. This is also the first appearance of Darcy. They gave her a name right off the bat, but don’t appear to make her a Christian as of yet. For a bit of foreshadowing to next season, she is instantly attracted to Spinner, but that’s been true of every character.

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Rick drives up to get his mom’s car washed. But everyone hates him for the whole Terri coma thing, and Jimmy chases him away with the hose.

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Too bad you just gave Rick a free car wash. He’s the winner there.

Spinner’s Speech

8.09 “Lost in Love” Part 2

This was the episode where Jane and Spinner agreed to get married after gradation. Spinner then married Emma. Maybe there was a mix-up with the court documents and Jane married Sean that same weekend.

Spinner and Holly J’s plan to break into the symposium includes wearing a suit and asking to be let into the symposium. The plan is foiled when they show up late. Holly J grabs a random a name tag sitting on a table and claims Spinner is Barry Cohen. “Barry Cohen, from Saskatchewan?” the person guarding the door asks in amazement. He can’t believe he is finally meeting somebody from another province. He then asks how Barry was able to get his dog sled team across the frozen prairies without attracting the attention of polar bears.

With Spinner successfully infiltrating whatever the hell this thing is, Holly J leaves because she has to go to school, not that anybody has ever cared about skipping school in the past. She probably just wants to avoid arrest. Canada has the three strikes rule and Holly J has already been arrested for stealing Paige’s personality and characteristics.

Jane comes and sits next to Spinner, and Spinner tells her he is done lying. Then the announcement is made that Barry Cohen is going to be giving a speech on being a student farmer. Since Spinner is pretending to be Barry Cohen that means he better get up there and make something else, or everybody will figure out he isn’t who he says he is. If I were Spinner I’d just yell “Oh no, diarrhea!” and run out of the room.

Spinner’s speech is awesome. He says that coffee isn’t grown in Canada, but milk is used in coffee and as a result there is an increased demand for milk at coffee shops. Spinner then proposes to Jane. Amazingly enough the crowd begins chanting “Jane and Barry.” That must have been an impressive speech if he has the crowd behind him like that. Jane walks out, since you know, she is really angry at Spinner right now.

Jane is angry because her speech was on women succeeding on their own and that means a women can’t get married even if her husband works at The Dot and she is becoming a lawyer. Simply by being married it would cause her accomplishments to mean nothing. Spinner points out that Jane didn’t thank him in her speech. Jane thinks this doesn’t matter, so Spinner breaks up with her. Looks like Canada’s suicide rate is going to increase by one.

As a bonus, this was the episode where we learned what happened to Toby:

Have you been wondering were Toby has been for the last five seasons? Turns out he is the host for Canadian Battle Bots. He’s surrounded by some hot ladies, and those ladies’ boyfriends.

Sean Drunk

2.16 “Message in a Bottle”

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Sean is sick as shit about all of Spike and Snake questions for him about his life and attempts to make friendly conversation, so he excuses himself to the kitchen. There he sees a bottle of vodka. Being kickass, Sean takes a big drink of the vodka. It is awesome because he does in within plain view of Snake and Spike. Look at the screencap on the right, you can see their heads behind Sean’s arm. The door was also wide open. And even if they somehow didn’t see him, they are still going to have to notice the smell. Vodka has a strong odor and Sean spilled some on his shirt. Spike and Snake are totally going to have to go out of their way as polite hosts to pretend to not notice all of that.

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Sean finds his way to Jimmy’s party. Since Sean is drunk I am going to assume he had a hell of time trying to find the place. He probably banged on three other mansions for several hours before the owners chased him away and then took a dump on Jimmy’s neighbor’s front stoop.

Craig asks if Sean if he has been drinking. Craig is shocked, SHOCKED, I say, when he learns that Sean has been consuming alcohol. Oh the horror! I like that in the parallel universe Degrassi exists in totally separate from our own, it is out of the ordinary and downright unthinkable that a high school aged person would drink alcohol at a party. It appears that no one involved in the production of Degrassi ever had a social life while in high school.

That is when Sean sees a bottle of Jimmy’s parent’s liquor. Sean does the old high school trick of pouring the liquor into a soft drink bottle so no one will be the wiser. Except for the smell and the fact that the liquor is a completely different color from the soft drink.

Terri Drunk

1.04 “Eye of the Beholder”

That two drunk teen episodes that only made the runner-up list. And I never mentioned the KC drunk episode anywhere. It says a lot about how crazy Degrassi has been that three instances of teens drinking don’t make the top 100 craziest moments. Also, Drew got high at a basketball game and I don’t even remeber when that was.

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Paige doesn’t want Terri competing with her for Spinner’s affection so she does what any good friend would do and gets Terri really drunk on wine. That’s our Paige, evil as always. Terri is really smashed when Paige helps get her to the school. It’s crazy because Terri is carrying that mostly empty bottle of wine to the school. No, that’s not good. At least put it in a Gatorade bottle like normal kids. Then Terri throws the bottle and it smashes on the ground right outside the school. Kids show up to dances drunk all the time, that’s nothing unusual, but they at least have enough sense to not bring an obvious wine bottle to the dance and smash it on the school sidewalk when the principal is right there. The only reason Raditch doesn’t do anything is because he is drunk as well.

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Terri stumbles around and acts all drunk. She and Spinner dance, but Terri does less dancing and more hanging on to Spinner for support. Then she moves around all drunk dancing, which is the best dancing white people do. Terri says this is her favorite spot (edging out the cafeteria). This is true because every woman’s favorite spot is draped over Spinner.

Sean Punches Emma

1.14 “Under Pressure”

Emma had it coming.

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Sean and Jimmy fight. Jimmy wanted to weasel out of it so he didn’t get himself killed, but Sean insulted Jimmy’s basketball playing abilities so IT WAS ON. Check how Sean dominates the fight. Jimmy doesn’t have a prayer. Fucking Jimmy tries to throw Sean up against a wall but Seam JUMPS OFF THE WALL and knocks Jimmy to the ground. Hell yeah. Sean’s a street fighter.

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Jimmy is down on the ground and can’t get up. Sean is about to go into for the final death blow, when Emma intervenes to save Jimmy’s life. But Sean is still possessed by rage and throws a punch at Emma, knocking her into some leaves. Yes. Sean totally clocked Emma in the face.

Holly J Schedules in “Lose Virginity”

8.04 “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”

Back at Degrassi, Holly J has a conundrum. It seems that every member of the cheerleading team has had sex except for her. That makes sense because if Holly J were ever nice to anyone she’d have found someone to have sex with by now. Holly J may think she can get by just by being hot, but every girl at Degrassi looks exactly like her. Apparently, Degrassi used the Terri incident as an excuse to implement a no fat chicks policy for the school.

Holly J puts lose her virginity on her to do list. She crosses out the names of Degrassi boys she considers and then rejects. She finally goes for a new boy who impresses her by having read the book for English class. If you have ever experienced a high school English class, you would realize how remarkable that is. Holly partners with the boy in art class, as he will draw a picture of her. The art teacher assigns the task and then bitches than the fascist school board will not allow them to do nude portraits. Degrassi really nailed their art teacher portrayal.

Holly J gets herself drawn (poorly) by the boy. She gets ready to make her move by taking off her shirt. Now she is only in her cami and skirt and all the other clothes she still has on. They make out and I forget if they have sex. Anyway, we then learn that one other girl on the cheerleading team is a virgin because she is dating Salve and Salve doesn’t have a penis. Now I think Holly J is sad she had sex with some flaky art class dude. Or she didn’t have sex and is embarrassed she almost gave into peer pressure. I don’t know. I will not watch this episode again to find out.

Jimmy Tells Ashley Off II

7.07 “We Got the Beat”


courtesy: degrassicaps.tumblr.com

Jimmy Falls

7.07 “We Got the Beat”

Emma’s Dad is Retarded, Emma’s Mom Has Home Birth

3.01 & 02 “Father Figure” Parts 1 & 2

I think if you watched original Degrassi you would have known about Emma’s dad already. I want to know how Spike managed to have to most mess free birth ever.

Emma’s Internet Rapper

1.01 & 02 “Mother and Child Reunion” Parts 1 & 2

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Nick Lachey got Emma out of the bathroom and begins caressing her young virgin flesh. He also set up a video camera because he wants to have evidence.

Polar Bears

2.03 “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

courtesy: degrassicaps.tumblr.com

courtesy: degrassicaps.tumblr.com