The Glee Project: 108 “Believability”

Season 1 Episode 8
Airdate: August 7, 2011

Glee Project 8

The guest judge is Jenna Ushkowitz, who plays Tina. The kids are always happier to have a main character stop by.

The song-off is “True Colours”. At this point, I sped up the video player by 10%, which was just slow enough to allow me to understand what everyone is saying, but saved four minutes of my life. Everyone sounds slightly Chipmunky now.

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Hannah wins.

The group number “The Only Exception” by Paramore. I have no idea who Paramore is.

“This video is about that very painful feeling that almost every high school student has experienced,” says Robert Ulrich. “being in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist.” Robert also informs them that there will be no choreography. I wonder why? Ha ha ha ha.

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I was going to go into this rant about how it’s stupid to keep insisting that adults who are college-aged relive high school, when anyone who is over 20 and doesn’t still live in their hometown has put high school behind them. But then the kids gather in the playpen and go around and say who they would like to be in love with the most, so I had to delete the rant.

By the way, Hannah has a crush on Damian and has mentioned it just about every episode.

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Nikki Anders, the music producer, wants to bring out the kids’ emotions. And Nikki does because Alex cries in the studio and she has to console him. Stop making people cry, Glee Project.

To get into the mood for the song, Alex started thinking about when his father died. He was six and says, “I never had a male influence in my life.” That explains a lot.

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Back in the playpen, Alex tells the kids what happened. Then Lindsay goes into the studio and lets the tears out. Is she crying because she knew Alex did? She’s a psycho.

Nikki isn’t buying it and tells us, “Lindsay is forcing emotional drama.” and “I have felt on more than one occasion that she’s not being a 100% real.” Preach on, my Scandinavian sister. People who can cry on cue scare me. That’s as close as we have in real life to a super power that can be used for evil.

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On to the video shoot. It’s in the LIBRARY, the best part of school. Each kid is going to sing to another kid, who will then sing to another kid. Because everyone is in love with someone else! What a concept!

Alex stays in his dead dad mindset, which is incredibly the wrong mode to be in when you are doing a love song. Damian can’t control his eyebrows, and Lindsay is being Lindsay. I bet that girl keeps a body buried in her basement.

The bottom 3 is Hannah, Lindsay and, for the first time, Samuel.

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Before we see the last chance performances, The Glee Project always shows a brief non-sequitur clip to hold our attention between two commercial breaks. I am sorry that I am showing you a screencap from the one where Hannah plucks Damian’s nose instead of the one where Marissa jiggled her booty.

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Hannah is giddy over being given a Taylor Swift song, which is another reason why I had to take back my rant.

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Lindsay is assigned “Maybe This Time”.

“I have no idea what that song is,” she says. What?? I mean, I had to go to Wikipedia to learn it’s a Liza Minnelli song, but I only know Liza Minnelli from Arrested Development. Lindsay is supposed to be a theater person. How could she not know the song already?

Ryan Murphy is impressed with Lindsay’s singing, but is not sure if she as a person is right for the show. “Will you make me cry?” Ryan asks. No, for real he asks her that. And then Lindsay starts to cry. Oh Lord. Lindsay says that life is hard for her because she was adopted. She was adopted because she murdered her parents when she was 4.

God, doesn’t she look crazy in that screencap? Anyway, she cried, which is enough for Ryan Murphy. Lindsay is going to the finals.

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Samuel sings Neon Tree’s “Animal”. Since Cameron is gone, Samuel has become the Christian guy. Ryan Murphy, who has never seen one episode of Glee, again states that he wants a Christian on the show. I…I…I’ve said this so many times before…

Every week Ryan Murphy demands a Christian.

And I cry out Mercedes!

But he does not hear me.

But you hear me, right?

You hear me?

Hannah is eliminated, which is a huge load off Damian’s shoulders.