The Glee Project: 2.02 “Dance-ability”

Season 2 Episode 2
Airdate: June 12, 2012

The contestants are in the nursery. Robert announces that the subject of this episodes is “Dance-ability.” Tyler and Dani say they are nervous because they can’t dance. The homework assignment is “We Got the Beat” by the GoGos.

Taryn leaves the competition that night because she doesn’t want to be away from her mom. Robert informs the kids the next morning. I would assume they knew beforehand since they all share the same dorm. Maybe she was sad about being the only black person here. I mean, Mario is too, but has no idea what black is.

The guest is Sam Larsen. He is barefoot. I never thought he’d have a trait that would be flakier than the dreadlocks. Sam picks Abraham (the Asian) as the winner.

The big music number is “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO. Part of the music video will be a game of spin the bottle. “Little does my mom know, I have kissed many boys,” says Aylin, who is from a strict Muslim family. Tyler again says that he is not good at dancing due to the hormones changing his body. I don’t know why, he’s still going to have the same height and skeleton.

At some point, Aylin and Charlie flirt.

Then, at the video shoot, Aylin kisses Blake during the spin the bottle game, which gets a jealous look from Charlie.

So Aylin kisses him too. “Sorry mom,” Aylin tells the camera. Aylin needs to stop using this show to rebel against her parents. Go to college like a normal person.

After the shoot, the contestants are lined up. Robert says this is was “worst music video shoot of all time.” Which is saying a lot when there have been all of 14 video shoots in Glee Project history. Zack the choreographer hated everyone’s dancing, more so than he always does. He says no one was good and it is really a matter of “who sucks the least?”

Lily argues when they criticize her dancing. Her dancing was indefensible and kind of gross. I like when Zack described it as a “wedding move”.

Up for Elimination:

Dani sings “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. She sang really, really well. Ryan Murphy, who is planning to have the fifth season of Glee be in space, says her “talent is without dispute” and calls her an artist but follows it up by saying “I don’t know if you’re a performer.” You see, Ryan doesn’t know if Dani would fit the “Broadway-pop style” of Glee, whatever the hell that means. The awesome thing about being Ryan Murphy (besides the harem of young Brazilian men in his basement) is that he can just make up words like that and then criticize people for not being able to measure up to something that doesn’t exist.

Tyler sings “Daniel” by Elton John. Instead of talking about his singing, Ryan says he could be a role model to people like him because “those kids need role models.” He’d be better than Chaz Bono, at least.

Lily sings “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain. While in her dressing room, she says, “I have never watched a show and see the big girl be the lead.” Does she not know about Roseanne? I know it was before her time, but it’s on cable everyday this century and her parents had to have watched it.

Dani is eliminated. I know I saw this all time with everything Ryan Murphy has his semen-stained hands on, but this is total fucking bullshit. Dani was the best singer of the three. Honestly, Tyler should have been let go in the first episode. It’s incredibly patronizing that he is only here because he is trans. I mean, when Isis King was the trans contestant on America’s Next Top Model, it was clearly a gimmick, but at least Isis was in the same skill league as the other girls, and even knew more about fashion than any of them.

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