The Glee Project: 2.05 “Adaptability”

Season 2 Episode 5
Airdate: July 3, 2012

Aylin and Charlie agree to “start fresh” and put a hold on their gross affection. “No kissing, no cuddling,” explains Aylin, “keep the flirting to a minimum.” Charlie says they will refocus the “energy we put into snuggling into kicking each other’s asses each week.” Sounds like marriage! HA! HA! My parents are divorced…

The theme is Adaptability. Mario tells us he will do well as he has to everyday “adopt to a world sighted people create.” Yeah, sighted white men create, give white men their due. It’s hard for them to invent everything and make every major discovery while getting shit from all other groups at the same time. No people in human history have had it worse than white men right now. Just ask Adam Carolla. He’d tell you this for hours on end.

The homework song is Alanis Morissette’s “You Outta Know.” Instead of letting them argue over who sings which part, Robert assigns them at random. I don’t know how you can judge who sang the best or the worst because I feel like most of them sang the song better than Alanis did. I like Alanis Morissette and her one good album, but let’s admit that she doesn’t have much vocal range. She either screams or cries on all her songs. 99% of what makes “You Outta Know” awesome is the guitar. The guest judge is Kevin McHale, who plays Artie. He picks Aylin as the winner.

The big group song is…“We’re not telling you,” smirks Artie. This is ADAPTABILITY!

We next go the recording studio, where Nikki says the song is “Pricetag” by Jessie J. OK, that wasn’t much of a wait. Blake sums up my thoughts when he says, “Now I know the…title of the song.” Who the hell is Jessie J? Unless she is some tribute to the famed outlaw Jessie James, I don’t care. Michael actually sings well today, unlike last week while Abraham has problems. He’s about as much of a wreck today as one of his people causes when they drive a car. Ali has trouble, as well.

We see Kevin mentoring Aylin. Kevin tells her to incorporate the feelings created by a song into her performance and it will come out OK. That’s good advice. Kevin seems too smart to be working on Glee.

Onto the video shoot. The theme is mean rich kids versus broke kids. CLASS WARFARE!

Charlie creates for himself a rich guy character “Scott Campbell” and stays in it all throughout the filming. The judges find it “bizarre” and say Charlie has a “hard time being a part of a group.” Hey, remember during the casting special when Charlie said he had autism? Because the judges have all forgotten. This is one of several times that Charlie has had trouble reading social cues and the judges have gotten pissed and punished him. Hey, maybe if you put a kid with autism on your show, you should try to work with him instead of giving him shit all the time. Especially when the mission of your dumb show is diversity.

That show is just as condescending as Glee itself. You don’t go around and collect a group of kids from different “minorities” just so you can pat your own backs for giving them a chance.

And these people, ‘mentors’, are completely incapable of dealing with what they got. Oh, the math nerd is always up in his own head? No, I didn’t see that coming. Oh, the ADHD kid has a hard time focusing? Wow, what a revelation.

You can’t ask for diversity and then go around and criticize them for who they are.

That’s bullying.

— relax-o-vision.tumblr.com

Mario claims to be a really good actor. Mario likes to talk about how awesome he is. “I only date supermodels,” he says, “Every girl I’ve been with has claimed to be one.”

To add to the Adaptabilityness of the challenge, Zack waits until the day of the video shoot to teach them the choreography. I don’t think that will hinder anyone’s crappy dance skills.

Robert says it is “really difficult” to pick the Bottom 3, but not because they were all awesome. Aylin get props and along with Shanna, Michael, and Lily are safe. The Bottom 3 are not selected. Instead, the Bottom 6 will be paired up to sing a duet in from of Ryan Murphy, who will decide the Bottom 3.

 

Duets:

Blake & Nellie sing “Waiting on a Girl like You” by Foreigner. It’s a really good performance, one of the best of this competition, except that Nellie changes “girl” to “boy” because Glee does that a lot and it’s annoying.

Ali & Abraham sing “Last Friday Night” by Katy Perry. They both kind of suck, but still sing it as well as Katy Perry. Seriously, she only became famous because she had a song called “I Kissed a Girl” and our culture is retarded enough to find that provocative.

Ryan Murphy calls Ali “a little funny Dolly Parton.” Dolly’s Parton’s boobs are so gigantic even a homosexual has to take notice.

Mario & Charlie sing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” by Elton John, which was later performed as a duet with George Michael. I don’t care if they are both British and gay and masturbate in public restrooms, George Michael has absolutely no business being in the presence of the True Queen of England, Elton John.

Mario, Charlie and Abraham are singled out in the Bottom 3. But they don’t have to sing again. The list goes up and Mario is gone. Other than Dani and Maxfield, the show is eliminating weak ones. So now the Appropriate Elimination Rate is 50%. That’s the highest it’s been this season.