The L.A. Complex: 1.02 “Do Something”

Season 1 Episode 2
Airdate: January 17, 2012

Abby has taken that job at a stripper. She gives a man a lapdance in the Champagne Room. He takes a liking to Abby, calling her “A curvy Mila Kunis meets, like, an Asian Jeanne Triplehorn” whoever that second person is. I found it funny that he immediately knew she is a wannabe actress, just because she is working as a stripper in Los Angeles. He tells her she would be perfect for a role as Vanessa Hudgens’ sister (Hudgens is also Filipino, doncha’ know).

But when the man grabs her breast, Abby freaks out and calls for security. Her fellow stripper who got her this job, Alicia, wants to know the problem.

Abby has to be told that is allowed in the Champagne Room. Hasn’t Abby ever heard the classic 1999 Chris Rock song “No Sex (in the Champagne Room)”? Here is it for you kiddies who are too young to remember when this was on TRL:

The man calls Abby stupid, so she throws a drink at him. There goes the role he was offering her. god, Abby is stupid.

Abby is fired. But as soon as she is outside the club, her agent calls to say she should audition for a guest spot as a hooker. He must be watching her or something. Maybe his office is across the street from the strip club. “Hey, that’s Abby outside! I know something she’d be perfect for.”

Back inside the club, Alicia needs to go to a dance audition, but her manager won’t let her off.  Alicia is like, “What kind of a loser needs a stripper in the middle of the afternoon?” Then some guys is like, “Sit on my face!” He is Ricky Lloyd, a former child actor from a movie that everyone confuses with The Goonies. Alicia has no idea who he is because no one born after 1988 knows The Goonies. The L.A. Complex is going for the Entourage thing where they have celebrities play outrageous versions of themselves, except The L.A. Complex is only going to use out of work Canadian actors. I was wondering if Ricky Lloyd is even a real person, but he is not. He is played by Aaron Abrams, an LAC producer. This show could never get a real actor from The Goonies.

Ricky Lloyd takes Alicia to a Champagne Room, but tells her to go to her audition. He will wait there and cover for her until she gets back. He’ll spend the time playing Angry Birds.

Connor gave Nick, the crappy comedian, a one day job as a stand-in on his medical drama. Nick tries to hit on female stand-in. Of course she turns him down.

Tariq is given a new assignment at work. He will produce a track for Kaldrick King, a famous rappist. Tariq’s boss warns him that the KK is just as dangerous as his violent rapping songs, and if Tariq is not up to snuff, “He will get real malevolent with you—malevolent. You understand what I’m saying?” I like that Tariq’s boss used the same adjective (well, technically he used it as an adverb) to describe Kaldrick King as one would to describe the main villain in a fantasy novel.  Be wary of the King of Kaldrick, young Paladin, for his is a malevolent force of terror that will not rest until the One Ring is in his possession once more. Kaldrick the Malevolent will summon all the armies of Middle Earth to carry forth his vengeance.

Tariq goes to Kaldrick King’s mansion, but KK refuses to let him inside. He doesn’t invite strangers into his home, they could be vampires. Some vampires have the ability to walk in daylight, so you can never be sure.

Tariq has to prove he is cool before KK will work with him. So Tariq tells him about his life. He grew up in Montreal. Are all of these kids Canadian? I know the actors are, for tax purposes, but are their characters? In that case, I definitely hope none of them succeed. Lousy immigrants.

Abby makes it to the audition and finds that Raquel is also up for the part and dressed as a street walker. Abby tries to make friendly chit-chat. You see, Abby used to watch Raquel’s old show, Teenage Wasteland, growing up and looked up to her. “That time you had a sip of beer at a party when you were underage was just like the time I had a sip of beer at a party when I was underage!” Raquel does her best to ignore Abby.

Alicia returns to the strip club and tells Ricky she got cut because the people doing the hiring only wanted teenagers. Ricky understands, but was still happy to wait while she tried out. He has been trapped doing direct-to-video for years and says, “I know how hard chances are to come by.”

While the crew is busy with Nick, Connor is in his trailer memorizing lines. Connor’s female costar enters. Earlier, Connor asked her to rehearse with him. He said he wanted to “go over the pink pages”. Which the costar thought was sexual innuendo, like he wanted to rehearse her vagina. She is totally up for it but Connor has to explain that he meant no such thing. Awkward!

Abby doesn’t think she will get the role because her audition only lasted a few minutes. Raquel is also feeling down on her chances of landing the part, so actually speaks to Abby.

Back to Nick. The female stand-in gives him a lesson in why he is not successful with girls. She has only known him for couple of hours yet already knows why girls don’t like him. It’s easy to see. The boy is a stock neurotic hipster in dark frame glasses.  Anyone between 17 and 37 knows a dozen of these guys.

Nick watches Connor and the female co-star film a scene in which they kiss. The dialog is corny and melodramatic, but still better than Grey’s Anatomy.

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