The L.A. Complex: 1.04 “The Other Side of the Door”

Season 1 Episode 4
Airdate: January 31, 2012

A little boy stares into a room containing a man passed out over a recliner. In the hallway, he sees his mother about to leave with a baby. “I can’t stay here anymore,” she says to the boy. “But you have to stay with your daddy, OK?” “But he hates me!” cries the boy. “Tough titties,” says the mom as she leaves without him.

Is this a drama being filmed or someone’s flashback? The mom calls the boy Connor.

Present day Connor wakes up. It was a dream. It was also ripped off from Degrassi when Craig’s mom walked out on his abusive father but left Craig behind.

Abby makes herself pretty and leaves for an audition. Since Nick has the place to himself, he immediately pulls down his pants and goes to a porn site. On this particular site is the video Alicia made with Ricky Lloyd.

“Oh my God!” Nick exclaims and notifies Alicia after watching it three times to be absolutely sure it’s her. Alicia is happy because it means she will make money. Except that website probably made it available for free, I mean it is a .org domain, after all. I presume it is a non-profit foundation for providing people with free pornography. Nick could never go to a porn site that required a credit card. A gossip website has even identified Alicia as the lady in the video, which Alicia also thinks is good news. Alicia doesn’t understand how porn works.

Things go sour that very day. Alicia is not selected as a dancer on a Willow Smith video because of the sudden notoriety. Also, Ricky and his agent changed the plan. They are no longer going to sell the sex tape for money because Ricky has been booked on Celebrity Rehab. I guess Dr. Drew will kick him off the show if he profits from pornography. Dr. Drew has a certain moral code, and if learns that Ricky was messing with a sex tape, he will get him addicted to morphine as punishment.

Kaldrick King takes Tariq to his secret sex apartment in Compton.  But Tariq is scared to be in a black neighborhood and suggests a much better place to shag privately. And judging by the exterior shots, this spot is located in the Highlands of Scotland. Kaldrick doesn’t think he will enjoy it up there. But Tariq assures him, “They make great crepes.” Being black, Kaldrick doesn’t know what a crepe is.

The two meet the married couple who run the bed-and-breakfast or cabin the woods or whatever it is they are staying at. Tariq uses the alias “Carl Winslow” and Kaldrick’s anonymity is protected because this couple has no idea what rap is.

Kaldrick doesn’t get off to a good start when he tries to use Ebonics slang in Scrabble. The others challenge it which makes Kaldrick super pissed. They are not letting him use the only words he knows.

Nick picks up Abby. She did not get the part. “The director wasn’t even there, it was just an assistant with a camera,” complains Abby. She didn’t get cast, but the assistant does have a sweet video of her topless.

Since Abby is still broke, Nick decides to help her out for the fourth episode in a row. “I’m going to show you how to live in L.A. on two dollars a day,” he proclaims. I assume he meant dumpster diving for donuts and I was half right. Nick shows Abby how to remove bottles from a curbside recycling bin. Abby doesn’t think this is worth the five cents per bottle. In Michigan, the deposit is ten cents which kicks ass. It’s the only way a good portion of us can make a living in this miserable state.

Nick uses the money at the Chinatown market to buy a half pound of dog meat.

Nick then attaches the dog meat to a fishing lure. He and Abby go fishing off a dock for a free dinner. Now, I may not know much about how to catch a fish (I have a cat who handles that for me) but  it looks like the water is too shallow to catch anything. Also, they don’t have a license. Also, would you really want to eat something that had been swimming off the shore of Los Angeles its whole life?

Back at Scotland, things go better between Kaldrick and their hosts. The couple has a lesbian daughter, which puts Kaldrick at ease and makes him ask how two women do it. Their hosts even offer them weed. These are cool middle-aged people who can relate to our generation!

Here is what Connor has been up to. The producers have hired an acting coach to work with him. Instead of helping him rehearse, the coach instead helps Connor boost his confidence in order to be a better actor. Connor is happy with the results and wants to hire the man full time and live with him and be best buds and everything. The coach politely declines, saying he already has a job as well as children to take care of. Connor offers to marry the man and adopt his children. Connor is really needy.

Here is what Raquel has been up to. She took her aspiring screenwriter neighbors to meet the grey-haired, alcoholic dentist she hopes will buy their script. This leads to a date at a restaurant. He is able to get her a new agent by offering the agent a free pair of dentures. Raquel is happy. The dentist gives her a second gift, a (fake) pearl necklace. It was his late mother’s. You see, she always wore it when she watched Grace Kelly movies. “If you could wear them in just one scene, it would mean a lot to me,” he says to Raquel. Raquel is excited because this means he will make her movie. And it will get made because the real movers and shakers in Hollywood are the dentists. I mean, things will get creepy when he wants her to increasingly dress and act like his dead mother, but right now everything is cool.

The date ends there. The dentist guy says he can’t kiss her/sex her up until he is twelve months sober. Yey! No old man affection! This night keeps getting better for Raquel!

It’s sex time!

Tariq and Kaldrick have angry sex. I assume angry because that’s how Kaldrick approaches everything in life.

Nick and Abby made kiss-kiss on the beach over a mercury infested fish dinner and returned their apartment, where they are totally about to get it on while the folk singer and her band watched.

But Alicia interrupts them. Which allows Abby comes to her senses and call the sex off. Oh Nick, with your luck, you’ll be a virgin until age 56.

Connor and Raquel have sex as well. then Connor asks her to move in with him. But Raquel is all like, “You couldn’t even get me a role on your TV show, but this kind-hearted dentist is going to produce my movie…somehow. Sod off you wanker.”

After Raquel leaves, Connor drinks from a bottle of Tequila. He’s got a little captain in him!

…Oh wait, Captain Morgan is a brand of rum. What’s a good Tequila commercial? I was going to say The Most Interesting Man in the World, but then remembered that is a beer commercial. Oh drat.

Well…um…hey, Sammy Hagar has that Cabo Wabo tequila. Connor can’t drive 55.

Ricky’s agent vowed to get Alicia work to make up for having her reputation ruined. The work is with Vivid, the well known porn producers. This agent is really bad at his job. But Alicia agrees to attend a meeting. Nick is there because.