Season 1 Episode 5
Airdate: August 14, 2012
Before I get into the review, I want to say that I wish The L.A. Complex was on CTV instead of VH-1 Canada. CTV is the Canadian over-the-air network that Degrassi: TNG used to be on. I live on the border and the CTV station I get is awesome. The lead story on their local news last Saturday night was about a man who was killed when his cottage collapsed. The next story was about a diabetic woman who did not get her meal on the train for an hour and the Facebook page her relative created about the incident that got 90 comments. The train company apologized, and the diabetic woman said the whole thing was behind here. They resolved that incident without a big lawsuit. Canada is a weird country like that.
I also like CTV because about half their commercials are government advertisements. Plus, they refer to the Charlie Sheen show Anger Management as “CTV’s Anger Management” and aired a sneak peak of it after the closing ceremonies of the London Olympics. They also air The Daily Show and Colbert at midnight, which helps me after I lost my pirated cable.
Abby’s co-stars bring her into a threesome.
Beth and Simon continue to go to auditions and Beth made enemies with another stage mom.
Connor is still in his fake relationship with aging actress Demi Moore Jennifer Bell.
Kaldrick asked his estranged father to come live with him.
Nick went to a brothel with his cocaine addict producer, which he only did because he has to compete with his ex-girlfriend, Sabrina, for a TV writing job.
Raquel was depressed about being in a Syfy Channel movie and then went drunk driving and was hit by a truck.
Now onto the episode:
Raquel is taken to the hospital and then jail, where she is booked, strip searched, and locked in a cell until she can post bail. She is shocked at how degrading American jails are. In Canadian jail, this would be when the Mountie arrives to hand out cinnamon rolls. The Canadian criminal justice system relies less on incarceration and more on spankings.
Abby tells the apartment manager about her threeway, because the one person you’d want to talk about this is the sketchy man twice your age. Abby thinks she can find a way cut Laura out of the picture so it will just be her and Brandon. The manager can’t give her any helpful advice, as he is looking for photos of Brandon and Laura online so he knows exactly what he will be masturbating to.
Beth takes Simon to an audition. They are told it will last six hours, but it will be fun for the kids. They will play in a room with science toys while being observed. Beth has to sit in a room with the parents and stale food. She meets a father who offers to take her out to lunch. He is light-haired man with a short beard. I am jealous of men like that, because all he has to do is grow out his beard and put on a little muscle and he will be a Viking.
Beth is treated to lunch by the stage dad. He says he works as an occasional TV writer. He is also a stand in for Joel McHale on Community. You know whenever Joel shows his abs? That’s actually this guy. His story is that he married to his high school sweetie. “We started out lives so young sometimes we both wonder what we missed,” he says, clearly telegraphing what will happen next. Beth claims her mom died, then her dad lost his job and house, and left her and Simon to go to look for work. Beth says she is 22. He just needed to know if she is of age, because after she says that, he asks for the check and they go fuck in a hotel room.
Connor wakes up with Jen. Raquel calls from jail pleading for him to come bail her out. Jen drives him. They free Raquel, but she is bitchy towards Connor for taking so long to spring her and Jen for just being around. Jen cuts Raquel down and says Raquel should really be thanking Connor for coming to help her. I like this Jen lady; she has common sense, which is badly needed among this array of characters. They drop Raquel off at her apartment so she can wash the jail stench off. Raquel still has the stench of failure. Nothing can wash that off.
Nick arrived to work horribly hungover. Sabrina was prepared to be loud and headache inducing, but then the producer arrived equally hungover. Nick and the producer soon recover and Nick finds his mojo pitching jokes. The producer has switched from favoring Sabrina to Nick, and squeezes the young man’s love handles. Looks like Nick has a boyfriend! Don’t worry, they only visit brothels together. They aren’t boyfriends in a gay way.
The writers call it a day to go bar, as they do everyday. “Three hours of sitting in a table telling jokes, man, am I beat.” Television writers drink even more than people who write TV recaps on the internet! But Sabrina has to stay behind to write ten pages of jokes, while Nick gets to party. Nick feels bad for her, despite Sabrina having done the same to him and ready and willing to do so again. Nick is a tool like that.
Kaldrick brings his dad to live with him in his magnanimous estate. When Kaldrick left, there was a party, which appears to have never stopped. It’s been going on for three days straight at this point.
Kaldrick’s dad is a recovering addict and ex-con so doesn’t think this would be the best place for him. Kaldrick did have to chase away a couple who wanted to make love in his dad’s room, so the old man has a point. Papa Kaldrick says he may “backslide in this environment”. This makes Kaldrick mad. I think Kaldrick is so deep in the closet that he took offense to someone saying his house is place where anyone would do anything that could be called a backslide.
Dynasty comes to Kaldrick’s party house to tell him he needs to return to the studio to record the raps all the world loves. Kaldick wants time to sort things out with his father, but instead of telling this to Dynasty, threatens to kick his ass for bothering him. Dynasty is ready for a fight. They stare each other down before Dynasty leaves. Kaldrick orders his friend to get rid of all the partygoers or get fucked up, so Kaldrick’s friend shouts “Everybody out NOW!” Why can’t two black men ever just have a pleasant conversation? All their communication is based on threatening one another.
With the guests gone, so it’s just Kaldrick, Kaldrick’s friend, and Papa Kaldrick. Kaldrick’s friend has been there since childhood and remembers how Kaldrick’s dad abused little Kaldrick. He wants the old man gone. “I’m not sleeping under the same roof as this fool,” says Kaldrick’s friend. “Cause I pity you. I pity the fool you are and always will be. I’m gonna drink some milk and call my momma.”
Kaldrick tries to come out to his dad, but can’t say the words. Kaldrick’s dad thinks the answer to his son’s problems is to set him up with a nice woman from his mission. Oh my!
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