The L.A. Complex: 2.07 “Half Way”

Season 2 Episode 7
Airdate: August 27, 2012

Previously on la la complex:

Abby was booted from the threesome with her Christian TV co-stars, Brandon and Laura. Laura wants to fuck Abby up a great deal after Abby and Brandon slept together without her.
Beth & Simon are facing eviction. Simon was hired for a one-time role on a TV show, but Beth pulled him off the set because Beth is crazy and someone thinks they can break into show business by pissing off anyone who tries to offer them advice or a job.
Connor made friends with Jennifer’s estranged husband, Eric.
Kaldrick almost hooked up with a waiter dude, but backed off to keep up appearances with a woman from his estranged father’s mission.
Nick is starting to be competitive with Sabrina for the TV writer’s job only one of them can keep. They are also having sex with each other. Sabrina could do way better.
Raquel was cast on Celebrity Halfway House along with in-universe celebrity Ricky Lloyd. The producers plan to portray her as the bitch in the house, which Raquel does not want to be seen as.

 

Nick wakes up with Sabrina, who gives him a morning blowjob. Then she makes breakfast and gives him some cigarettes. Perfect wife material. Sabrina says these are for his execution and reminds him that today is the day the one who will get the writing job will be decided. Sabrina is confident it will be her. Nick is not as sure about himself. But Nick, if you get the job, it will be great; if not, hey you woke up to a blowjob, it’s not like your day could get any better that that.

Nick’s ace is that he’s been buds with the producer due to visiting prostitutes together. Sabrina sees their friendship and loses her confidence. At break, she asks Nick if he knows how hard it is to be a girl comedian. There is usually only one slot available in comedy clubs or writer’s rooms for a female. “No,” Nick admits, “skinny neurotic guys who look Jewish are allowed to be half of Hollywood writers.” Nick says that Sabrina is really funny and has a strong chance. “You really think he’s going to pick me over his new whoring buddy?” Sabrina asks.

Nick gets the job. Despite everything, he still wants Sabrina to be his girlfriend. “I finally got a real job and a real girlfriend. When I told my family I was going to Hollywood to be a stand-up comic, they all laughed at me and thought I wouldn’t amount to anything. Now look at me. I have a job where I have to go to brothels every night with my boss and a girlfriend who intimidates me. I’m going to call up my grandma and be all ‘Who’s the man now dawg?’” Sabrina says if he really loves her so much then he can prove it by quitting. Nick phones the producer right there (who asks if they are going whorin’ tonight) and begins to resign. Sabrina stops him. Their relationship has always been stupid and made little sense, so I care not whether they continue. But I was expecting Sabrina to get the job and Nick to settle for being her housewife.

 

Abby wants to mend fences with Laura while they are at work at the craft services table, but Laura is like, “You stupido” and takes her 20 feet away, to talk where there is still a bunch of people around. Laura is not willing to make nice. “I am going to do everything in my power to get you fired from the show,” Laura threatens. Why do they always talk about their three-way on set?

Abby goes to Brandon for help, but he wants to be with Laura, and his only message is “stay away from both of us.”

Abby and Brandon film a scene together. The dialogue is cheesy and The L.A. Complex writers make of Christian programming here. But, frankly, with everything we’ve seen of Saving Grace, it still looks like a better written show than The L.A. Complex. Abby keeps screwing up her lines because Laura’s death stare is throwing her off. There is a kiss in the scene, so every time there is a retake, Abby and Brandon have to kiss again. Laura thinks Abby is throwing her lines on purpose to get more kisses and flips out. “I will crucify you!” screams Laura in front of the entire crew. “You hear me bitch!”

Abby, Brandon and Laura are summoned to the head man’s, Donald, office to explain themselves. Laura acts submissively apologetic and states that she was upset because Abby was being unprofessional. Brandon sides with Laura and says Abby has been having trouble with her lines. Abby doesn’t want to take the fall so blurts out, “I’m sleeping with Brandon and Laura!” Brandon and Laura deny this. Donald of course trusts them more than Abby, who has been wack ever since he met her. Donald says that he did not bring Abby in to fire her, but she needs to remember that she signed a contract that includes a morality clause.

Abby is so stupid that instead of taking her reprimand and getting back to the only regular paycheck she has earned since coming to LA, she grabs Donald’s laptop. She says that any man who acts as religious as him always has skeletons in his closet. She goes through his browser history, which contains addresses such as the 700 Club and ASPCA. OK, nothing incriminating there. Then she goes through his paperwork, only to find donations to charity. She finds his photographs, which are from his trip to the Vatican.

“But why would a Protestant go to the Vatican? Oh my Glob! You’re part of conspiracy to undermine the Reformation! Once I get this information to the Archbishop of Canterbury, you’re through!”

“You’re too late, dear Abby. The Archbishop of Canterbury is part of this conspiracy. It won’t be long before we are strong enough that we can bring an end to Luther’s pitiful 500-year-old rebellion once and for all! Whahahaha!

Abby grabs the photos and makes a run for it. She vows not to stop until she reaches Minneapolis, where she can warn the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. Halfway into Wyoming, Abby remembers that she is Roman Catholic herself and shouldn’t care so much, so tosses the photographs in truck stop dumpster and gets a job as a ranch hand.

It would be awesome if that were the case. What really happens is Abby is fired. Good thing she has so many other opportunities lined up.

If they aren’t going to have any more Saving Grace scenes, then I want that sweet portrait of Alan Thicke. It is the most awesome thing about The L.A. Complex so far.

Beth & Simon are not getting along due to Beth’s incompetence. Simon wants to go live with their dad in Alaska. This is when Beth reveals that their dad abandoned them. Every time Beth called him, she was only able to leave voicemail messages. Papa has not answered in six months.

Beth talks to that one neighbor who has been helped her out. He says that production companies have 1500+ pages of regulations when using child actors, so Beth was a dumbass for pulling Simon off that set. This is when Beth gets a phone call which informs her that Simon was booked on a Billy Nye science show. Shit, is Bill Nye going to be on? That is awesome for The L.A. Complex but makes me feel sad for Bill Nye.

Beth goes to give Simon the good news. But Simon isn’t in their apartment. He ran away and left a message that he is going to find dad. Simon also took the $15 or so that Beth had in a coffee can. I think Simon is better off on his own. Beth was dead weight. I’m pretty sure Beth should have been evicted by now anyway.

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