The L.A. Complex: 2.08 “Stay”

Season 2 Episode 8
Airdate: September 3, 2012

Previously on the blah blah blahplex

Abby was fired from the Christian program Saving Grace due to participating in a three way with two of her co-stars.
Beth & Simon got into an argument after Beth pulled him from a TV show, and Simon ran away. They are facing eviction. We also learned that their dad abandoned them and never answers Beth’s phone calls.
Connor made friends with Jennifer Bell’s estranged husband, Eric.
Kaldrick hooked up with Infinite Jest’s lawyer, after Jest tried to sue him and set his car on fire.
Nick won the writers job, but he and Sabrina are still a couple.
Raquel is trying to manipulate her storyline on Celebrity Halfway House with Dr. Rue. One of her co-stars overdosed. Somehow this is Raquel’s fault.

 

A blonde woman has recently arrived in Los Angeles. A man behind a desk hands her candid photos of Connor. She must be a buyer from TMZ. Or that guy is a private investigator. Being a paparazzi or a PI in LA probably requires a similar skill set. You could divide your workday doing both.

Abby calls her agent to ask him to get her work. “Mistakes happen,” her agent chirps about the Saving Grace fiasco, “upwards and onwards.” It just so happens he has a job for her, as an extra for a movie shoot on the beach. It will pay $100. Her agent is also an extra. He does background work as a side job. He probably needs to since he must lose money representing Abby. 10% of her meager wages divided by the time he spends getting her auditions she throws up on or jobs she is fired from surly equals less than minimum wage. Every extra has to pair up boy/girl. Abby doesn’t want to be with her agent, but luckily there is a blonde guy for her.

Being an extra sucks. It’s 12 hours of a director yelling at them to run from a pretend monster. The blonde guy is a tourist and wants to blow this off. He offers to pay Abby $200 to show him around the city. Hey, Abby is actually going to get paid! You hardly ever see that. Too bad Abby is going to be awful tour guide since she never has the money to go anywhere. “Oh…um…things to do in LA? Let me think…Hey, I think Legoland is around here somewhere. Do you have one of those fancy phones that has internet? We could get directions.”

The man treats Abby to a fancy restaurant. Abby’s date orders her the $50 chicken and a $300 bottle of wine. Abby lights up thinking she got herself a rich boy. Actually, he is in the Air Force but likes to splurge when he has rare time off. OK, well, there’s still a path to a Green card!

Abby brings Air Forceman to the apartment and turns down his money. He says he will save it for their second date. They kiss. “When I get back, I’m coming for you,” he tells Abby. He’s not going to Iraq; he’s just going to visit his parents. But if he doesn’t show up in the next episode, we’ll assume his helicopter was shot down by insurgents in Orange County.

Beth is still looking for Simon, who has been missing for 15 hours now. The apartment manager says they need to call the police. Beth does not want to. “I’m not Simon’s legal guardian,” she explains and worries the police will take Simon away if they find out. Also, they are illegal immigrants. This is rarely mentioned on the show, but, like, half the characters on The L.A. Complex are in the US illegally. Canadians living illegally in America have it way sweeter than illegals from Latin America, though. A single dwelling unit with a pool and parties every three days beats sharing a basement in South Central with 25 family members.

Beth and that one neighbor guy go to the overlook that was Beth and Simon’s first sight of LA. It gives them a bird’s eye view of the entire city. “Aw shoot, I can’t see him from here.” The neighbor guy says she should call her dad. Beth gets angry at him and yells, “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” “Sorry,” he meekly replies. Don’t feel bad, guy, Beth is a rude bitch to everyone who tries to offer her help.

They return to the apartment with Simon still missing. Beth calls her dad and cries. Women get so emotional over the littlest things.

Kaldrick wakes up at the lawyer’s office. This is the lawyer who looks like Barack Obama, by the way. The lawyer is already awake and doing lawyer business. Kaldrick collects his clothes as well as the address of Infinite Jest.

The lawyer takes Kaldrick out to breakfast, which makes me imagine a fresh out of law school Barack Obama hanging out with Kool Moe Dee. The lawyer asks who Tariq is, because Kaldrick was yelling that name in his sleep. The lawyer stares down a black man from the next table over who overhears this. “What the hell you looking at?” puffs the lawyer. Black men never can politely ask anything of another black man, communication always takes the form of threats.

Later, Kaldrick grabs Infinite Jest in a headlock outside his house. Kaldrick wants to know why Jest has a beef with him. Jest calls Kaldrick a phony who needs to “rap about who you really are.” Infinite Jest means rich, not gay. Kaldrick says they are even now. Hopefully this is the end of having Infinite Jest on the show. I don’t know where they are going with that character and I doubt the writers do either.

The lawyer is surprised when Kaldrick found out where he lives and shows up at his door that evening. “I got people,” Kaldrick explains, “and they have a phone book.” The lawyer‘s apartment appears to be Fiona’s castle on Degrassi. Kaldrick notices a Greek-style statue of two men who look like they are playing Naked Robber, Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry’s favorite party game.

They make out, but Kaldrick is too angry. Since he has such an inability to even admit out loud he is gay, he smashes the Naked Robber statute when the lawyer calls him such. The lawyer doesn’t want to deal with an angry closet case, so recommends Kaldrick find this Tariq person and go have angry sex with him or something.

Nick and Sabrina prepare their material for the Just for Laughs festival. Nick plans to do his “Strangle girl” bit while Sabrina is writing all new material, and recommends Nick do the same because his jokes are awful.

Nick replies that working in a writer’s room all day gives him no opportunity to go out in the world for new material. So he looks for friends on Craigslist. The first is an old lady who offers bridge lessons. Nick asks her if she has any “hilarious or amusing anecdotes”.  She wants to sleep with him. Her proposal is, “How would you like to skip forty years of fumbling around in the dark and learn how to really please a lady?” She knows several sexual positions that date to the Depression and are lost on the younger generations, who never knew what it was like when money for sex toys was scarce and all the lube had to be used for machinery in the war. “Rosie the Riveter” isn’t just the name of a character on a poster, you know. The old lady sounds super Canadian too. Abby and Beth and Simon can get away with working in Los Angeles illegally because there is a large network of Canadian expats to provide support.

Nick next answers a job ad to clean a man’s garage. His garage is already neat and tidy; the homeowner just wants Nick to wipe it down with a duster—while the homeowner films him and gets aroused. Nick is creeped out but should just feel proud he managed to get someone aroused. That doesn’t happen often. The homeowner is pleased with Nick’s job, and then trashes his own garage before giving Nick the money, which he uses as the opportunity to hold Nick’s hand to his chest. Nick runs away without collecting the cash. I wonder how the writer got the idea for this crazy scene. Probably from the time Stefan Brogren asked him to clean his garage.

That night, Sabrina does well at the comedy club. Nick gets on stage next and kisses her in front of the audience, once standing up and once swooping her down. Nick has a girlfriend. That makes him the King of Comedians as far as most comics are concerned. Nick gets laughs describing his misadventures on Craigslist.

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