Season 2 Episodes 12 & 13
Airdate: September 24, 2012
Previously on les complexités d’ange
Abby’s boyfriend from the military returned and asked her to marry him.
Beth took the SATs. Her and Simon’s dad returned and wanted to take Simon to the Yukon, but the rest of the apartment banded together to stop him!
Connor’s long lost sister, Charlotte, got him to join the Church of Scienetics.
Kaldrick went to Montreal to make peace with Tariq. Tariq didn’t want anything to do with him, but I guess that was enough for Kaldrick to get his mojo back. Kaldrick is in a relationship with his retarded archrival’s lawyer and also his dad had a stroke.
Nick has to make room for Sabrina after her parents evicted her following her admission that she is a comedian rather than a college student. Nick helped her audition for a sketch comedy show.
Raquel was hired as a bartender and is making extra cash by stealing credit card numbers for what we will assume is the Latin Kings street gang. She is filming a low budget movie with the two neighbors she looks down on, but Raquel looks down on everyone.
“Xs and Os”
Abby wakes up in Las Vegas to find that she married her boyfriend in the Air Force. I mean, she didn’t go to the Air Force to marry him; he is the in the Air Force and also they got married. Abby says she loves him but getting married was a mistake, like everything Abby does. They go to the annulment office to file for an annulment with the annulment guy. After they do, Air Forceman tells her he is going to leave for another tour soon. He says they should get re-married, but sober this time, so Abby can get a greencard. That’s why I said she should! He also says he will send money to her and the Air Force will pay for her apartment. Plus, he didn’t say this, but I will: he’s an Aryan überman.
Abby realizes there are at big upsides and zero downsides to accepting his offer, so they go back to annul the annulment. The annulment guy isn’t sure if they can undo an annulment, so Abby takes the forms from his desk and rips them up. “A lot of those weren’t yours,” he says.
The newlyweds end the day in a hot tub. This marriage is off to a good start!
Beth is hanging up clothes to dry in their room while Simon plays with a stuffed animal. “Dad’s not very grown up for a grown up, is he?” Simon says like a five-year-old. Seriously, shut the fuck up kid or talk like someone your age. You are too old to be like that. Jodie Sweetin was half your age when she was replaced as the cute little one by the Olsen twins.
Beth gets her SAT results, which took a whole friggin’ day to arrive. What’s with the hold up? They came slower than a DNA test result! Her score is 1900, which sounds like it must be high but I never took the SATs. I got into college without ‘em. True, my university was entirely underground in a bunker, but I would have never gotten my part-time manager job at the dollar store without my Bachelors degree in doomsday preparation.
Beth’s boyfriend gives her a tour of his alma mater, USC. They run into Taylor, his former college girlfriend who looks even more Asian than Beth. Taylor is getting a PhD and her dissertation is about “pornography and sexual politics in the age of universal access” because you can get a PhD in anything now. Beth’s boyfriend says he is making a movie and Taylor coyly asks if it is “like the movies we used to make?” THAT INSINUATES SOMETHING SEXUAL!
Boyfriend introduces Beth to his old English professor. Then he shows her the university library. Beth falls in love with it because it’s over three stories high and has a plop ton of books. In Canada, all the libraries are no larger than one room and mostly have copies of the official NHL rulebook. Ha ha! Take THAT Canada! The books make Beth so horny she initiates a sex act right there by undoing her man’s belt. That takes me back to many a night at the University of Pennsylvania – Centralia library, if you get my drift! Except for the part about having another person there.
Beth gets back to the apartment complex just as Child Protective Services takes Simon away. Good.
Connor is acting with Raquel in a scene for her little movie when the police show up and arrest him for arson and insurance fraud for when he burnt down his house. The cops are rough, but they are LAPD so Connor is lucky they didn’t shoot him.
The detective wants to know why Connor was seen drinking a beer when the firefighters arrived.
“It was hot,” Connor states. No, that’s really what he says.
Charlotte arrives and to protect her brother says she burnt his house down. Connor doesn’t want his sister to take the fall for a crime she didn’t commit, so takes responsibly for the fire. But Charlotte won’t let her brother take the rap for something he did, so continues to insist she is the arsonist.
The detective interviews them separately and then together to figure out who to send to prison. He only needs one more to complete his quota for the month, so locking them both up is more work than he is paid for. Right when I wrote in my notes “they should get a lawyer”, a lawyer shows up. He was sent by the Scienetics church and is able to get the charges dropped because the sheriff is a member, which goes a long way to explain why the justice system in Los Angeles is such a mess.
They return to the apartment where Connor tells Charlotte he loves her and Charlotte says the same. Then they kiss on the lips. Gross! Stop it you two! I’d expect that kind of deviant behavior out of New Zealanders.
Kaldrick’s father is in hospital. The lawyer who looks like Obama and is his secret boyfriend sits with Kaldrick outside the room. A nurse informs Kaldrick that his father’s insurance has run out and the hospital will need payment or will toss his father in the incinerator to help pay for the heat. Kaldrick gets angry and throws money at the nurse. The lawyer steps in to calm Kaldrick down, and like any good lawyer, threatens to sue the hospital if his father is not treated.
Donna, the girl his dad set him up with, comes to see Kaldrick. But she can sense the gay vibes between Kaldrick and Christopher, which is the name of the lawyer (I did not know either of their names until now) and says goodbye.
Kaldrick visits his father and informs his dad that he had a stroke and the right side of his body is paralyzed and he can’t speak. Shouldn’t a doctor have said this? Kaldrick says there is something he needs to say and his dad is listening. We eagerly wait to see if this is the moment Kaldrick finally comes out to his father. Try as he might, he again cannot summon the courage to tell his dad the truth and instead lies that things are good with Donna. I felt so sorry for Kaldrick. For the first time, I actually felt emotion while watching this show other than anger at what a piece of crap it is.
Kaldrick’s friend, whose named I don’t know and worked in Dynasty’s studio, arrives to tell him that his arch-nemesis, Infinite Jest, broke into his (the friend’s) apartment and took the hard drive that contains the security footage showing Kaldrick kissing Tariq. Oh no! This mean we’re going to see more of Infinite Jest!
Nick has a gig at private party hosted by a TV executive. Sabrina thinks he will be schmoozing with powerful people in the industry. I think he’ll be a male stripper. But what really happens is that he has been hired to wear a bunny costume during a bat mitzvah.
Nick makes friends with the magician, while the clown has been giving him dirty looks. “Clowns are on their way out and he knows it,” the magician tells Nick. “We’re the future.” Whatever you have to tell yourself to keep from crying yourself to sleep every night, dude.
Nick has to perform a stand up act as a bunny. The magician has to tell Nick that his joke about strangling a girl in bed is not child appropriate. So Nick goes on stage and changes it to a joke about milkshakes and handholding. Thanks to a Justin Bieber and Twilight reference, he gets a standing ovation. The little matzah balls cheer for more. Even his bad jokes go over well in a bunny outfit in front of pre-teens. Nick has found his true calling. He is paid $500, which is $500 more than he has ever made in stand up. The magician is going to set him up with more gigs and the clown welcomes into their circle.
When Nick gets home, Sabrina announces that she was hired on the sketch show. Now she has a real job and Nick is working children’s parties. The natural order has been restored.
Raquel goes to work after Connor’s arrest. A DeLorean is parked outside and a man in a leather jacket and yellow pants steps out. It’s Manny, the creepy guy in kitchen staff who is Raquel’s partner is crime.
Raquel tells Manny he needs to keep a lower profile and if he can afford a DeLorean on this scheme, she wants her fee doubled to $50 per card. They talk about this in kitchen. Later, he hands her more money right outside the manager’s office. They are doing absolutely nothing to be discrete. Anyway, the manager and Raquel kiss. I guess she thinks it’s cool to steal money from him if she is his girlfriend. We have a word for that: Marriage! HAHAHAHA!!!!
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