Watership Down: The Great Water

This episode is so bad that Jesus himself tried to prevent me from reviewing it by deleting this entire disc from my computer. I had to defy our lord and savior by re-ripping it to my hard drive. If we start getting plagues of locusts and shit then its my fault. Sorry dudes.

As you may remember last time the Downers got in the luggage compartment of a bus which they planned to ride to the beach. Today’s episode opens with them inside the luggage compartment of the bus. That makes sense. If it began with them all at home discussing their wacky bus adventure I would think I skipped an episode. The bus driver stops and opens the luggage compartment in an area that quite clearly has no buildings in sight. That was nice of him. The rabbits get out and check out the ocean. They are all  “Damn, that be a nice ass body of water yo”

First order of business is find Kehaar. He failed to keep up with the bus because as a seagull he does not posses infinite stamina and the ability to go 50 miles per hour. The rabbits decide to head down to the shore line because… they have to do something? Going down by the water won’t really make it easier to find Kehaar since they are currently on a cliff that gives them a good view of the surrounding area, but they came all the way to the ocean so they might as well go down to the beach. Hawkbit thinks they should go home but everybody tells him to shut his Jew mouth.

The rabbits meet a puffin who is sitting on his nest. Dandelion and Hawkbit make fun of him for doing what they perceive to be a woman’s job. Then they call him a dandy right before they start prancing around in a circle using a falsetto voice to say things they believe the puffin may say. Unlike those two Pipkin is useful so he asks the puffin if he has seen Kehaar. The exchange is interrupted when two seagulls attack the puffin.  It would seem puffins and seagulls do not get along because seagulls are assholes who attack puffins for fun. Then Hawkbit falls off a cliff because one of the themes of this episode is random things happening instead of their being a plot.

Kehaar flies by. The rabbits see him but Kehaar doesn’t hear them call out to him. They assume he is ignoring them rather then assuming he is a few dozen feet away from them and they aren’t very loud. Kehaar flies around saying hello to all the gulls he knows because that bus just happened to go to the one part of the English coastline he use to live at. I guess it makes sense, England doesn’t have that big of a coast.

The rabbits get down to the sand. They don’t know what the fuck it is even though I think they have sand in forests. Like, the forests I’ve been to before seem to have sand in them, or at least dirt that appears very sand like. It must be different over there in England.

After being ignored for awhile Kehaar finally finds a gull who has a voice actress, his lover Katatrina or maybe Katalina. Kehaar also sometimes calls her KAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA because he communicates through screaming. As Thank You Stars rightfully points out in previous episodes Kehaar called his lover Natasha. Kehaar’s entire back story consists of two facts, he like big water and he had a lover named Natasha. They really couldn’t get them both right for the episode exploring his past?

In the next scene Pipkin falls in the water. Then the rabbits smell a dead fish. Thus time is killed.

Kehaar tries to convince  his woman to come back with him to the down. She refuses because seagulls don’t live underground with rabbits. Plus he’s only been back for like ten minutes after being gone for months. She also seems like a huge Russian bitch.

Fiver tries to drink some water but it is salty. Then a crab pinches Hazel’s butt. This serves little purpose but get us closer to the end of the episode. Glad they made this a two parter.

Pipkin asks some gulls if they know Kehaar. They respond by trying to bite his butt. This beach is full of perverts.

Kehaar tries to share some fish with KAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA but she is unimpressed and this other gull makes fun of Kehaar. Seagulls don’t take kindly to socialists.

Katarina and some other gull I don’t think they ever bothered to name decide it will be fun to go trash some puffin nests. Kehaar questions why they want to be mean to the puffins and gets ignored. Then he goes to the defense of the puffins, standing up for his beliefs but getting ejected from seagull society or something. Kehaar apologizes to the puffin for the disturbance and the puffin mentions that he had met the rabbits. Kehaar is told the rabbits are at the beach and Kehaar knows this is Bad News Bears because that the tide is coming in faster then Power Wheel driven by The Flash.

The rabbits are trapped on a rock, which is where Kehaar finds them. They aren’t out of the water yet as the tide is not done rising. There is a ledge higher up where they will be safe but they can’t reach it. Kehaar tries to get the gulls to help him but they won’t because the rabbits aren’t their friend, Kehaar isn’t even their friend. Why would they want to help either of them? The puffins on the other hand are up for helping out. They drop a bunch of rocks on the ledge that the rabbits use to climb to safety.

The next day Kehaar makes the decision to not stay at big water. His old friends are all assholes who hate him.

Rating 2/10

Even worse then last week couple months ago

Final Thoughts

I think the idea behind these episodes is that they wanted to establish why Kehaar sticks with the bunnies instead of returning to big water. I can get behind that, the execution however just doesn’t cut it. Here is what they should have done: Kehaar decides he needs to go to big water, so he flies there. Hannah can come along as well since  she can sit on his back and it will give him somebody to talk to. Kehaar has the same arc and realization that seagulls are dicks and bunnies are sweet. At the down some kind of dangerous situation arises that they have difficulty dealing with without Kehaar. Maybe that fox comes back or Efrafa makes a move into their territory. Without air support they barely succeed. When Kehaar returns he and the rabbits both have a new found appreciation for each other. Hawkbit says something dumb and Kehaar makes a joke at his expense hit the freeze frame, cue credits, I’m outta here.