Watership Down: The Market

What time is it? Its bunny time bitches.

 

Bigwig, Hazel, Fiver, and the rest are going through a field with high grass. It could be dangerous, they might have to fight two Pokemon at the same time but they are confident Keehar will be their eye in the sky giving up to the minute reports on foxes, weasels, tigers, and other natural predators of rabbits. Keehar being the dedicated friend he is sees some birds he knew from big water and follows them to chat up how awesome the big water is. Its big, its water, what else is there to say? You can’t beat it.

Keehar proves once again that he is the Uncle Joey of Watership Down and should not be trusted with any responsibility when instead of warning the rabbits about a fox he instead isn’t there. The Downers hear the fox coming because he is making more growling noises then Wolfman despite the fact that I’m pretty sure foxes don’t make those kind of noises. Don’t they yip and bark? Even if they do growl I’m sure the don’t growl while trying to sneak up on somebunny. The fact that foxes and rabbits are natural enemies makes me sad. If there is one animal almost as cute as a bunny its a fox. Why can’t we have a cartoon where a fox and a bunny are best friends and they dedicate their lives to fighting communism?

They all escape and return home. Keehar tries to apologize but everybody makes him feel like shit

 

 

Hannah does some stuff that only further shows she has no needed role on this show. They could just give Blackberry some lines and let her be friends with Keehar. Then Hannah wouldn’t need to exist. To sum it up, Keehar misses big water because it was big and water. There was also a lady gull he use to bone that he also misses. Pipkin gives the very worldly advice that Keehar must go to the big water. This makes sense since Keehar is a seagull. Keehar however doesn’t want to leave his friends. Pipkin decides he’ll go with so Keehar doesn’t get homesick.

Bigwig doesn’t think Pipkin should go alone do to the inherent danger of traveling, but he is totally forgetting that Pipkin’s super power is being able to befriend any animal he meets. Plus Pipkin escapes danger like twice a day. He would be fine. Fiver, Hazel, and Hawkbit all pipe in that they also want to see the big water and it is decided that all the main characters are going on a road trip. Sure Efrafa wants to destroy their home, they have to train Marigold and Hickory, and this idea is retarded, but whatever. Road trip!

What should have happened at this point was a road trip montage set to Steppin Wolf’s Born to Be Wild (or La Grange if we wanted to mix it up some) instead they find a truck filled with vegetables and they jump in the back to chow down. Keehar is displeased with the delay but Bigwig tells him to suck a bucket of dicks, free vegetables. That dog from the farm they always go to shows up. Either the animators only knew how to draw one dog or the rabbits made it about ten minutes before stopping for a snack.The rabbits end up hiding in the truck only for the farmer to loads the last box into the truck and uh-uh the truck have started to move!

When the ride ends the Downers find themselves in a marketplace. The new sounds, smells, and concept of a free market confuse the simple woodland creatures who assume they are in some sort of magical land of death. I feel the same way every time I go to Big Lots. The rabbits gather on the tailgate of the truck to discuss the situation. An old man, who looks much like Jethro Tull’s Aqualung, is sitting on a nearby bench. He watches the large group of rabbits hanging out on the tailgate for a few minutes then run off together. He looks at the bottle of unmarked alcohol in his hand and throws it over his shoulder believing what he just saw to be a product of drink, or at least this is another thing that should have happened.

Dandelion and Hawkbits get chased by a horse back under the truck while the useful rabbits all gather on a sweet carpet where discuss how much Dandelion and Hawkbit suck. Those two can’t even follow the group to the carpet. Dandelion and Hawkbit plan on staying put until they are found but get scared away by a red balloon that just sort of floats near them and pops for no reason. Who knew Pennywise vacationed in England. Hawkbit comments that Hazel will never find them now as they ran off all willy nilly from the Deadlights. Dandelion says he has a fear of being trapped in the market forever. Then they realize they are in front of a cage of weasels that make cat sounds for some reason and run off some more.

The competent bunnies go back to where they lost Hawkbit and Dandelion but as we already know those two are AWOL. The Downers sit in the open discussing their next move. Despite people walking by nobody appears to notice the four rabbits just hanging out. I get that maybe people wouldn’t care much, this being rural England and all, but you would think somebody would at least acknowledge their existence in any way no matter how insignificant. Somebody could at least look at them. Some bubbles start blowing by them and Pipkin thinks its a sign from Prince Rainbow because the bubbles like have rainbows in them and stuff and rabbits don’t know what a bubble is.

Dandelion also thinks they need to follow the bubbles. This results in all the rabbits meeting up in front of a mechanical bear that blows bubbles. Wait what?

The rabbits take cover under a pallet of plants. Hazel reasons that they got there by hrududu then if they get in another one then they will leave. Sure, why not. Then their shelter is taken suddenly when a forklift picks up the pallet of potted plants. I guess they really needed those potted plants in another part of the market? I mean, why else would you move an entire pallet of plants with a forklift in a busy market place? They really needed those plants elsewhere. Some people walk by but do not notice the rabbits. The Downers then run through a ring toss game and rings end up on Dandelion’s ears! Yet still nobody acknowledges their existence! Are the invisible? Is pointing out that you managed to throw rings on a fucking rabbit’s ears considered bad luck? What is going on?

The rabbits end up in the hand cart of a puppeteer. When they see a pig in a pen they decide to bail because they know more about pigs and farms then they do about mechanical bubble blowing bears so this is the most familiar thing they’ve seen all day. The image of six rabbits leaping in succession from a star covered hand cart into a pig pen should have once again been enough to prevent somebody from drinking, that is if the rabbits weren’t ghosts.

Animals can see ghosts, so the pig talks to the Downers. Hazel explains that they need to get on a hrududu so they can high tail it out of crazy town. Fiver doesn’t think the pig knows what a hrududu is but the pig does. Take that Fiver! Thats what you get for being racism! Owned! The pig explains she knows hrududu is Lapine for vans, trucks, and cars. She says she has been on all of those as well as boats and planes because she is a prize pig. Do people really bring prize pigs so far away that they need to go by plane? The idea that Babe was going to go to France already seemed pretty stretched and he could herd sheep.

Now this is where the episode gets really retarded. The pig reveals that while she goes all over she never gets to go where she wants. The Downers convince her that she should be able to go where she wants pointing out she is big enough to break through the cage. So she breaks out. The pig followed by the Downers run through the market probably confusing alot of people, although nobody really does anything about a giant pig running around. Keehar finds the bunnies and they stop to talk to him. While talking about what has transpired the dog find the rabbits and Keehar flies away. He then immediately returns with the pig who head butts the dog. The dog could probably take a pig but runs off likely not knowing what the fuck is going on.

The pig leads the Downers out to the parking lot and smells buses until one smells like the beach. The pig is really good at smelling things. It is not made clear if this is why she is a prize pig or just because of her size.Conveniently the luggage compartment is open so the bunnies can hitch a ride. They say their goodbyes to the pig who plans on spending her newly found freedom wandering the high hills. The episode ends with the bus driving down the road, Keehar following from the sky, and the pig wandering the wilderness until she is eaten by a predator

 

Rating 3/10

This episode is stupid stupid stupid.. Its just a bunch of random shit happening and nobody noticing a huge group of rabbits just running around a crowded market despite them spending most of their time out in the open. The entire premise is flawed. Going to big water makes no sense for the rabbits because there are far more pressing issues at home to take care of.An argument could be made that Keehar is so useful they need to make the pilgrimage to placate him so they can continue to use his flying abilities, but if thats the case only one or two of the rabbits should have gone with him, not the entire crew. Keehar is useful, but not worth losing the warren over. Woundwort is a threat and we as viewers are suppose to think its reasonable for the only people who actively thwart him to just take off on some random trip? I understand the desire to take the characters out of their familiar environment, but Friend of Foe already did this in a more sensible way. If they wanted to take the rabbits to a market then forget the big water part. They were stealing vegetables and got stuck in the truck. That way the next even more retarded episode wouldn’t even need to happen.

 

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week? Everybody involved in making this episode